strange desire
So it's been nearly a month since I have wrote on this thing, but for some reason I just have this weird desire to post. I really don't know what this post is going to be about, but I just feel like posting.
So, this new facebook craze....I think that it's pretty cool. I have had a chance to talk to several high school friends who I haven't had contact with for nearly 4 years.
I conducted the orchestra tonight for my conducting class project, and I must say that I enjoyed it very much. Lately I have been struggling with making a decision as to what I want to do when I graduate from the wonderful (sarcasm) University of Evansville; get a job or go to graduate school. I know that I do not want to work at a middle school. Doc told me today, "You have to do what you're wired for." He said that you have to do what your passion is...you have to do what makes you happy. That's where the problem lies for me, though. I absolutely love being up in front of an ensemble and conducting. This is something that I can do with a high school band or at a university. But, I also love to play my instrument. I am not going to lie to myself and say that if I got a high school job that I would remain dedicated to my practice, because I know that it will not happen. I am at a crossroads, and I am not sure which path to follow. With Emily and I getting married next summer, that only makes the decision even harder. She is afraid that we will not be able to survive on her income alone, and there is no way that I will have time to work a job while attending graduate school full time.
Went alumni in Phi Tau last night...that felt good. Sinfonia's ceremony will be on Tuesday night. Speaking of Sinfonia, I must admit that I am a bit excited about this weekend's formal.
There is also something else that I would like to say to anyone who is reading this. I realize that since Emily and I have been together, I have definitely put her first in my life. I do not regret this, because I love her and plan on spending the rest of my life with her. What I do regret, is the fact that I put all of my other friends on a far "back burner". I apologize to any of my friends that I may have offended in the past year. I am sorry if I made it seem that you were not important to me anymore, because that is definitely not true. I could not have made it with out some of you and you know who you are. I will never forget the tough times that you helped me through, and I want you to know that I still cherish our friendship. I only wish that we had more time to hang out; we will see what the summer has in store for us.