Jul 29, 2005 14:29
Here I am, after a long sabbatical from the internet. I have been spending time with chrissie in london and liverpool. It has been lovely, although I find my self filled with worry and anxiety these days. I can't really put my finger on why i have been feeling this way recently. I think it is the fact that I got decent grades in the first year, and now I feel I have something to live up to. I feel like some kind of fraud...
Another reason are the changes I see in my family. My mum seems to be some what alienated from my father since I have returned, and my father seems more absent minded and curmudgeon.
While I was at university, I found that time flew by, in turn I feel as though it was only yesterday that I was preparing for my study. It seems time has played a nasty trick on me. In that time has taken its toll back here with my family and changes have taken place...
I hold no delusions about myself though, I know I have changed too, although i don't feel as though I have. I feel so unaware
I love Chrissie.
I love my family.
I love God
Even if everything else changes around me, I'll try and make these first principles that make my life worth living, eternal.