EPiTAPH NEWSLETTER...
Snacking, it's... The Epitaph Weekly Newsletter!
I am convinced that we are at the pinnacle of history right now, because we are at the point where people can get so huge that they can no longer walk! The other day, I spoke with a massive guy (at least 500 pounds), who was leaving Tommy’s Burgers with a huge box of chili covered fun, and he told me he was on “disability”, but was “really lucky” because they bought his motorized snack-throne-on-wheels for him! 10,000 years ago, no one could imagine a meal beyond the one they presently had; now, huge blobs of humanoid flesh, abound! Have you ever heard of any fossil remains that showed evidence of an Australopithecine, Neanderthal or any type of early human weighing like 700 lbs.? No, because it was impossible! Now, it’s cake! So, let’s all pat ourselves on the gut, because we sure have come a long way!
I am convinced that we are at the pinnacle of history right now, because we are at the point where people can get so huge that they can no longer walk! The other day, I spoke with a massive guy (at least 500 pounds), who was leaving Tommy’s Burgers with a huge box of chili covered fun, and he told me he was on “disability”, but was “really lucky” because they bought his motorized snack-throne-on-wheels for him! 10,000 years ago, no one could imagine a meal beyond the one they presently had; now, huge blobs of humanoid flesh, abound! Have you ever heard of any fossil remains that showed evidence of an Australopithecine, Neanderthal or any type of early human weighing like 700 lbs.? No, because it was impossible! Now, it’s cake! So, let’s all pat ourselves on the gut, because we sure have come a long way!