random

[donkey4life]

As I walk and inhale the cool morning air and toxic smoke, the fresh rain kissed my skin, tired and worn stumbling as if I fought a war 12hours of sleep couldn't even satisfy my hunger for tomorrow. It's sinking in whats been going on, going back to school is going to be scary, becoming

Comments

[getyour_wings]

That's one thing I never understood; you never told me anything. About your mom, now I learn you're seeing a therapist. I don't understand, did you just not trust me to tell me anything? I could have been there for you a lot more if you just let me know what was going on in your life more. I could have tried to help you, tried to give you anything you needed, I could have been a better person in areas you needed me to be in if you just gave me some insight on what was happening. But, you never did.

I regret not seeing you more, recently. I don't take full blame, but I most certainly regret it. Because, I think that maybe if I saw you more, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. That you would have trusted me with what went on in your life. But, then sometimes I think that wouldn't have mattered, either way.

I always believed in you, whether you believed in yourself. I always knew you could go back to school and become something, anything you wanted. That you would find happiness. Whether you wanted to do something with computers to starting a band, I believed in it all.

I'll always remember the days when you and I seemed perfect. Watching Natural Born Killers on your living room floor while eating chicken and pasta. And salad! Because you knew I couldn't cook, so you only trusted me to make the salad. The day when you got me Mayo. When we went to Kellys together and I made you try tarter sauce on a roast beef. Walking the beach and taking pictures for my photo class. Watching the same five movies every night when you lived off Northgate because we didn't have cable. Pigging out in the house in Lynn on the big, comfy bed that we just never wanted to get out of. When we took care of each other near Valentines day because we both got terribly sick. Even recently, going to Fudruckers and having lunch and talking. Maybe it all didn't mean much to you, but it meant a lot to me.

I know you don't want to be friends. But, there is just a lot of stuff on my mind, and I'm remembering a lot of stuff, and...I don't know, random I guess.