Welcome to My Life
Last month and this month has been really hell for me. I am currently residing in a madhouse which has taken place since last month. I have no longer understand the meaning of peace, quiet and great future ahead. Everything right now seems dull and bored. I don't see the meaning of living anymore. Even the phrases of 'I love my live' does not exist anymore. Too much negative energy in me right now, even my yin and yang is not balancing at all. The power of perssimism has taken over my usual optimistic mind. I can forsee that sooner or later, I am going to have a nervous breakdown and ended up in some mental institution. I know that this sounds suicidal but I am not that ready to take my life away like that.
Most of my friends have not been a great help either. Oh wait, let me rephrase that, most of the people that I used to hangout with, basically associate. I started to see who are my true friends, a friend indeed to a friend in need. Not that I need anything, maybe a good job, but more like they are afraid that I might want to borrow money from them. The fact that, I am not poor just because I lost my job. Jesssshh!! Don't they know the meaning of life savings?
Just because I don't have a Degree, let alone a Diploma, makes me stupid. That I can't perform in my work performance just because I lack of these qualification. I earned and learned from the experiences that I get while I started working since I was 16 years old. Just because my family was poor and couldn't afford my education after my high school education. Sacrificing my education by working at such a young age just to let my other siblings go to school and support my family. Is that how I get my thanks all this while? So what's the exact meaning of life? To suffer more and enjoy less? That must be the biggest joke in my life.
A tiny bit inside of me is telling me that things will come round, I will get back at my feet. Anyway, everything has been spilled out of my chest, almost eveything. Those who read this, you know who you are, don't ask me question about this. I appreciate your concern and all. I really do. I'll manage, somehow.