fucking hormones
when attempting to talk to a friend and rant about my horrid moodswings, in the middle of it i realize how lame i sound since i'm well aware that i just blow up over something trivial and therefore causes my irritable episodes. and then i start to think, BUT.. THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE, SOMETHING WRONG, I SWEAR! (yeah, what?) I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS! ugh. i can't even read a book because i just go over the same sentence over and over and over until i start to think of something that pisses me off again and my "focus" will be diverted to that idea that pisses me off and think of some shit like "huhuhu kawawa pala ako" or "bakit ganoooon, it's so unfair! fuck you (someone)!" tanginang yan.
right after i cry my head off there'd be more pondering - about what made me cry in the first place.
why i allow these things to overcome me with unnecessary anxiety is beyond me. sometimes i wish i just knew what the fuck is wrong with me. self-pity is fucking pathetic. ewwwwww eweweweweww ewww ewww ewwww.
eww.
oh, if only hormones could be controlled. hormones, or whatever the hell is causing this.
thank god i'm back in school. i'm happy in school.
right after i cry my head off there'd be more pondering - about what made me cry in the first place.
why i allow these things to overcome me with unnecessary anxiety is beyond me. sometimes i wish i just knew what the fuck is wrong with me. self-pity is fucking pathetic. ewwwwww eweweweweww ewww ewww ewwww.
eww.
oh, if only hormones could be controlled. hormones, or whatever the hell is causing this.
thank god i'm back in school. i'm happy in school.