I'm afraid
hauntee wanted II
Originally uploaded by nyah74 I've never really had acrophobia. I've never had qualms about going up to the highest floors of Makati's skyscrapers and leaning my body, face flat against the windows to see the urban skyline in secret hopes of finding someone doing something rather embarassing at their rooftops, thinking it was safe. I've been up Sears Tower several times now and have never felt queasy. Those thrill rides that go up-and-down don't scare me because of how high they go--they scare me because of how fast they plummet me back to earth, but that's not the point I'm trying to make.
You see recently, I've been having a fear of ledges. That's right, ledges. Dave from PlanetHunt described the feeling best:
"I’d read in their literature that most people don’t actually have a fear of heights, but rather a fear of ledges, and that seemed to be true in our case. We never felt in danger or like we were going to fall. You notice how high you are when you first begin to take off, but after a few minutes, you lose that height perspective. I can’t quite explain it, but they’ve said that even people who have a fear of heights aren’t scared anymore once they’ve lifted off and are in the air for a few minutes."
He was talking about going up in an hot-air balloon, but he was right on the dot about not fearing the height, but rather the ledges. Everytime I'd see one I get this mental image of myself just running over to that ledge and jumping over. It's scary. I know it isn't true, but it just feels so real that I have to grab on to something just so I know I'm not doing it.
I saw it while looking at the balconies of The National Museum, even if they were locked up by window panes. I saw it while shopping at SM, around the area in the upper floors where you can look down and see the goings-on of the usually-ground floor. I see it everyday in Eng'g when I pass through the corridors.
On the last one, it never used to happen. I'm already in my fourth year and this only happened now. And I don't know why. Any ideas? :(