fun to do, not to hear....

[dondlion]

When I was fifteen, I got a temporary job over my Christmas holiday operating a jackhammer for my biology teacher, Mr Crisman. I had never done it, but loved, loved loved it. It was exhausting, but nothing beats destroying for a fifteen year old boy. I always grin when I think of that week. I earned enough money to buy my mother a nice

Comments

[radegunda]

I have no siblings, so that's not an issue I would ever have to deal with.

My husband didn't go to his sister's wedding, largely because our marriage was 'secret', none of his family came, so we were snubbed in return. Which, frankly, is fair enough. And we didn't want to go, anyway.

[dondlion]

Why didn't you want to go? Why wereyou snubbed in return?

Why was your marriage secret? This is interesting.

[radegunda]

a. Because, for reasons too complicated to go into, the marriage is thought unlikely to succeed. The couple have only known each other for 6 months, he's been married twice before, and Louise (Allister's sister) was seeing at least one other person when they met...

b. Because Louise is the type to bear grudges. Big time.

c. Because Allister didn't want his mother fussing and trying to find a convenient time when everyone could come, given that his parents are divorced and live at opposite ends of the country. It seemed simpler to keep it, well, simple...His mother, however, has never forgiven him for depriving her of a mother-of-the-bride experience...

[dondlion]

That would be considered unusual here. If I eloped or something, I'd call my parents and invite them to meet me wherever. They'd just be happy for me. When my sister got married, it was a lot of fun. I only wish she'd have omitted me from the ceremony. But I had to live up to four in-law siblings.

Louise sounds intriguing. I once went to a wedding, unexpectedly, in which my friend's aunt, 38, was marrying for the eighth time. Everyone was happy but didn't take it too seriously. I still remember the bride's parents, after fifty years of marriage, still deeply in love (I had it on good authority) despite the mother's having lost her speech through a stroke. It was all inspiring.

[radegunda]

Well, there are other issues with Louise, too complicated & sordid to go into...Suffice to say, I'm glad I only see her once a year at most...Sometimes, even *that's* too much...

Our marriage was a 5-minute civil wedding. I would have been quite happy for Allister's parents to come, but neither of us likes fuss and his mother is a prize fusser. Basically we took the view that it was *our* day so we should do it the way that pleased us best, which was in the most fuss-free manner possible! No big cake, no honeymoon, no unreasonable expectations :-)

[dondlion]

I'm very like you in this, preferring simplicity. But I have two questions:
1. How do you define 'fuss?'
2. What are 'unreasonable expectations?'

Good old Louise. I shall use my imagination. :D

[radegunda]

Hm, well, there's very little 'good' about Louise but we'll let that pass...

1. Not sure I *can* define 'fuss'. As in people trying to take over. As in spending far too much money on one day. As in having a party for 50 people, most of whom I don't know. As in...the usual trappings that go with the traditional 'big' wedding.
2. Well, that was - I hope you realise - tongue in cheek...I do wonder, though, how many brides get married for the big white dress, the day of being made a fuss of, the Caribbean honeymoon, and I wonder if it's a shock when they find out the rest of married life is, comparitively, mundane...

[dondlion]

It's hard to believe that people would have no concept of the mundaneness of married life. Think of people you know, I'd tell them. Glad you've done so well.

Weddings just seem like nightmares. That is, when you have to arrange and participate in one.