(no subject)
It has been a long while. A lot has happened. It's funny that we all want change and ask for exciting things to start happening, and then out of the blue some ordinary week everything is set in motion. Things start happening. There are options. And immediately we are startled and start backing away, into corners. It's too fast. It's too much. It's too far. Be careful what you wish for, and the like. I'm trying to stiffle the cautionary fear, the part that is settled in dust. I feel like I can begin a motion that will give me momentum to keep going. To never stop. The excitement is peaking through the fear.
I have quit the job at the club in order to take the job at the Cafe. I am in no position to choose a job that will give me less money simply because I get to work in a cool place. Working a job like that will come in time, as I gain more experience. The serving job at the Cafe Volo and the serving job in Oakville will, I hope, be quite enough to get me through the next year. This way I come back to my grandparents three days out of the week, to see family and friends. It's good.
I have been twisting with anxiety the last couple of weeks. I am worried and can't sleep very well. I have burning knots of pain in my back. But the end of June will bring resolution. Either way.