>:/ well damn!
Is it really wrong to spend YOUR OWN money on something you want?
Last night Elijah told me that he gets annoyed when I buy new things without thinking about us. He says I have to have that MUST have item and I don't think about anyone but myself. That's such fucking bull. Perfect example:
AUSA I bought a skirt from the guy selling BODYLINE. It was the only thing I bought at the time besides a $5 tote. I also bought a Rilakkuma doll and I really wanted another but I didn't want to touch the money I set aside for our dinner. I separated the money the second we got in the hotel room and left it in my bag all weekend.
Saturday dinner rolls around and the place we wanted to go to was full and we were too tired to go anywhere else. We both agreed to order pizza and since I was too tired I asked Melvin to go get soda from 711 with the left over money from ordering pizza that I saved. For going for me I told him to get him something he wanted too and just bring back whatever was left. It ended up being just enough for the other Rilakkuma doll I wanted .__.. Sunday morning the day I was going to leave to go home I bought the doll with the left over money. I could have lived without it or Elijah could have bought it for me since he "knew how much I wanted the doll", but instead he bought me a fox hat which probably cost more than the doll, but I was grateful he thought about me and wanted to get me a present. I felt bad I had so much at the time and was just spending it on myself so I bought him $20 worth of Magic cards. How am I so self centered?
Not to mention only Evelyn and I put up money for food yet 5-6 people ate it (not including us who paid). I didn't care because I was tired and hungry and I wanted to see everyone happy. Elijah did pay for my meals on Friday and Saturday and the others have helped me out numerous times so I never asked that everyone chip in just to save money for myself at all. I expected Melvin to come back with like a dollar and some change in all truth.
I know he's going to be broke come Katsucon so I offered to buy him meals and he rejected my offered. I told him it was fine numerous times but he said no. He even came out and told me he wants to tell me how much I wasted money AFTER con is over and what we could have done with it.
I'm so fucking frustrated.
I don't think I have to have the must have item AT ALL. Conventions are about the ONLY time I buy things I want for ME. I don't ask my parents to buy me shit, they offer it. I don't shop at the mall I shop at fucking GOOD WILL. I haven't bought NEW clothes in GOD KNOWS how long. The last shirt I got was a gift from my older brother who had money to drop $50 on a shirt for his sister. I didn't even know about the brand but I am thankful for it. I go without all the things I truely want and I finally had the money for something I want and I bought it. The stuff I buy online is stuff I bought using money I got online selling my belongings I don't use very much. There is no must have item! There are things I lust for and would dream of having and I know it will take a lot of time before I obtain them but should I really hold back just because someone thinks I am self centered and spoiled?
I don't know what to do. I told my mom about it and she was just like "lawls then don't spend anything" I told her it wasn't fair to me and she goes "lawls why because you have to have that must have item?". Well damn thanks mom.
Don't get me wrong I love Elijah with all my heart, even if he feels this way about me, but it's coming out of my own pocket. I am not going to throw my money at anyone before they accept it and I am not going to spoil my only fun for months either.