Hmm...
A few months back, Rick and I went to the movies together. The theater we'd chosen is one of the type that serves food and beverage to you while you watch the movie, so it's sort of like the Palladium in Birmingham (for those of you who would need a Michigan equivalent). There's also a full bar in the front of the theater, and you can order drinks to be delivered to you while you watch the movie.
While we were standing in line, we heard a man in front of us approach a woman who was standing nearby and demand, "Could you please watch your language? My kids don't need to hear that." The woman protested but I don't recall exactly what her response was. The man then threatened to get the manager of the theater if she refused to comply with his request. The woman then went to find her husband, who approached the man that began the entire exchange and asked him if they had a problem. The man's wife, who was standing next to her husband piped up, "Your wife is using language that isn't appropriate for our children to be around." At this point, everyone around them was staring quite openly, and I think they realized they were creating a scene. The lady who was supposedly cursing went to the bar with her husband and the situation blew over.
This hasn't exactly been bothering me a lot, but I have pondered it a few times since then and it does kind of stick in my craw a little. As Rick pointed out that day, they weren't exactly in a family oriented environment. They were in a bar. It also happened to be a movie theater, but I don't think that any place serving alcohol is someplace you'd bring kids to with a reasonable expectation of everyone being perfectly behaved.
Furthermore, their children were actually not in line with them. I don't know where they'd gone, how old they were, or how much they heard of that woman's supposed cursing (not that I doubt she used bad language, I just didn't hear it). However, unless those kids are home schooled and have very limited exposure to other children their own age, I'm pretty sure they're likely to hear language like that from their peers or other people in their lives.
What shocked me the most is the audacity it takes to approach a total stranger and chastise them for their language. That woman was a grown up. Granted, she was in a public place, but she was having a discussion which had nothing to do with that other couple or their children. To ask her to modify her behavior for their sake was at the very best self-serving and at the worst, an incredibly rude invasion of her evening.
Finally, my opinion of parenting is that it is YOUR responsibility to protect your children from undesirable influences. I bet that couple thought that's what they were doing, but the fact is, it was not a stranger's responsibility to censor herself for the benefit of this couple's unseen children. If they didn't like it, they could have quietly removed themselves (and their kids) from the situation, or better yet, been more thoughtful in their choice of venue. A theater with a full bar is not the most obvious choice for an evening of family fun.
I'm troubled by this trend of 'families first' which I perceive in many aspects of the world today. Having offspring should not entitle you to special privileges or give you the right to suggest the world should bend to your will. There are terrible things in the world, and every good parent should protect their children from those things. But not at the cost of affording other people basic courtesy and appreciation for (if not agreement with) their point of view. To me, that is an equally important lesson to impart to your children.
What do you think?
While we were standing in line, we heard a man in front of us approach a woman who was standing nearby and demand, "Could you please watch your language? My kids don't need to hear that." The woman protested but I don't recall exactly what her response was. The man then threatened to get the manager of the theater if she refused to comply with his request. The woman then went to find her husband, who approached the man that began the entire exchange and asked him if they had a problem. The man's wife, who was standing next to her husband piped up, "Your wife is using language that isn't appropriate for our children to be around." At this point, everyone around them was staring quite openly, and I think they realized they were creating a scene. The lady who was supposedly cursing went to the bar with her husband and the situation blew over.
This hasn't exactly been bothering me a lot, but I have pondered it a few times since then and it does kind of stick in my craw a little. As Rick pointed out that day, they weren't exactly in a family oriented environment. They were in a bar. It also happened to be a movie theater, but I don't think that any place serving alcohol is someplace you'd bring kids to with a reasonable expectation of everyone being perfectly behaved.
Furthermore, their children were actually not in line with them. I don't know where they'd gone, how old they were, or how much they heard of that woman's supposed cursing (not that I doubt she used bad language, I just didn't hear it). However, unless those kids are home schooled and have very limited exposure to other children their own age, I'm pretty sure they're likely to hear language like that from their peers or other people in their lives.
What shocked me the most is the audacity it takes to approach a total stranger and chastise them for their language. That woman was a grown up. Granted, she was in a public place, but she was having a discussion which had nothing to do with that other couple or their children. To ask her to modify her behavior for their sake was at the very best self-serving and at the worst, an incredibly rude invasion of her evening.
Finally, my opinion of parenting is that it is YOUR responsibility to protect your children from undesirable influences. I bet that couple thought that's what they were doing, but the fact is, it was not a stranger's responsibility to censor herself for the benefit of this couple's unseen children. If they didn't like it, they could have quietly removed themselves (and their kids) from the situation, or better yet, been more thoughtful in their choice of venue. A theater with a full bar is not the most obvious choice for an evening of family fun.
I'm troubled by this trend of 'families first' which I perceive in many aspects of the world today. Having offspring should not entitle you to special privileges or give you the right to suggest the world should bend to your will. There are terrible things in the world, and every good parent should protect their children from those things. But not at the cost of affording other people basic courtesy and appreciation for (if not agreement with) their point of view. To me, that is an equally important lesson to impart to your children.
What do you think?