Designated Hitter
An item, submitted for your consideration:
No matter how hard you try to disassociate yourself from an unpleasant person, you will undoubtably be forced to associate with them through no fault of your own.
So I have come up with the following ways to get rid of an unpleasant person:
No matter how hard you try to disassociate yourself from an unpleasant person, you will undoubtably be forced to associate with them through no fault of your own.
So I have come up with the following ways to get rid of an unpleasant person:
- Stare intently at their forehead as they speak to you.
- Feign a fainting spell. When you "awaken," claim to have an aversion to "really bad smelling people" and claim not to know why you fainted.
- Agree with everything they say, even if they aren't asking a question.
- Eat a large batch of Limburger cheese shortly before talking to them.
- Cough loudly each time they say the word "the".
- Chew on your hair, making loud slurping noises. This approach works best if you have facial hair. If they appear disgusted by it, offer them some.
- Continually mouth the words "I'm not wearing any underwear" while they are looking.
- Stop them abruptly every other sentence and ask, "Are you sure? Could it be?"