i'm an awful fool so you may kill me

[dommer88]

I just had this thought that my father had died, and i still get this feeling like you think i have lied, and it breaks me to pieces that you no one believes that i'm telling the truth that i will never leave the side of my heart that i've reserved for you that i cannot forget what you do to me every night every day every minute that i lay in my

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[b_la_git]

i dont think you have any idea how much you mean to me, i'd give up my life in one second graciously if it would mean it'd make you happy. if you were to die i would die too, maybe not physically but with a different meaning, i'd die inside, my shattered remnants would be washed away with the tide and dragged out to sea, i'd be here but i'd leave life behind. i know i'm cynical, moody, hard to live with, hard to love, i'm not worth all the fuss but please don't base my moods on distrust, i trust that you love me as i love you, maybe i just show mine differently than you, but i'll believe it and embrace it until you tell me otherwise, but please know that my heart will break a million times if i come to find the best news of my life is untrue. as cliche and silly as it may seem, i wouldn't want to live without you, i won't live without you, i refuse, please don't think in memories my love, when you are as of this moment and the rest of my life the best part of me, the biggest part of me, the only thing i'll ever really need, the only one who makes me lean toward domesticality, who sets me free from the pain of being lonely, of being solitary, of being one single entity in a sea of monotony, together we have more love than the world has ever seen, and if you aren't meant for me, now one was, that is the one thing in the world i can guarantee.

i can only hope that someday i will be able to write in a way that expresses my feelings as much as i need it to.

i will tell you this with every ounce of honesty i can muster:

i love you more than i have ever loved anyone, more than i love myself and life itself, more than cream cheese and singing in my car and eyeshadow and any of the other things i would give up in a second if it would make you happy. you mean more to me than anything ever has and have changed my life in more ways than i'll ever be able to tell you about. that hasn't faltered, it won't, please don't ever doubt it or think that i'm going to stop loving you. you have a permanent spot in my heart and in my life, if you so choose. <3333333