an epiphany
i've been reading through my old journals. the first journal from college was shallow, embarrassing, and unremarkable. however, the sophomore year journal shows some growth, promise, and maturity.
this week has been a swing set of moods. reading the first journal was depressing. i still feel like i don't know who i am...
but, i am searching for themes and meaning in my life right now. and, last night i came across a statement that made my perspective shift. in my sophomore journal, i state with angst that i am afraid of living out my life without realizing true potential. without really living. this has been a fear for the past 10 years. as i reflect on this thought, i realized that in this past decade, i've lived. i do not look back on any of my years with regret. it's the journey that is life, and i've been learning so much as i go along.
i need to let go of this fear of not really living, for i am. i cannot say that i regret many things from my past. i made poor decisions and learned from them, but i cannot think of a block of time in which i was truly "not living".
this simple epiphany has cheered me up immensely. i can live without fear.
this week has been a swing set of moods. reading the first journal was depressing. i still feel like i don't know who i am...
but, i am searching for themes and meaning in my life right now. and, last night i came across a statement that made my perspective shift. in my sophomore journal, i state with angst that i am afraid of living out my life without realizing true potential. without really living. this has been a fear for the past 10 years. as i reflect on this thought, i realized that in this past decade, i've lived. i do not look back on any of my years with regret. it's the journey that is life, and i've been learning so much as i go along.
i need to let go of this fear of not really living, for i am. i cannot say that i regret many things from my past. i made poor decisions and learned from them, but i cannot think of a block of time in which i was truly "not living".
this simple epiphany has cheered me up immensely. i can live without fear.