Drunk and making out in public
I had a conversation with her last night that was intermittently interrupted by furious kissing and groping. The gist of which was "I'm afraid you won't want to be my friend if I don't want to fuck you".
I don't think there is anyone who wins in a conversation like that. It's also confusing when you legitimately can't tell if she's asking because she doesn't want to fuck you or if she wants to have a relationship and is afraid of what will happen when it falls apart, when half the time your tongues and hands are groping one another.
This is the most confounding relationship I have ever had with another human being. I don't even trust myself enough to know how I'll react as it continues to play out.
I am so into her though. I really hope it doesn't come to having to relegate my desire to friendship. I'm tired of being the easily jettisoned baggage in other people's lives.