I haven't updated in 2 weeks...
I guess it's time. I haven't really felt like updating lately. Or doing anything, really. I just can't get motivated. And I've been getting distracted so easily. I've just been having these crazy mood swings lately. It's from the stupid Prednisone. The Dr. and I were talking about it the other day. He was telling me how he's on 60mg short term and it's giving him crazy mood swings. I realized that why I had a REALLY depressive day like, a week and a half ago. I just wanted to stop taking all my medications and just go to sleep and just sleep for days. And the day I went to the Dr, I was fine in the morning. I was actually in a decent mood. By late afternoon/evening I was just in a terrible mood. And it didn't help that people kept getting on me about all kinds of stuff. Not that they really knew I was in a bad mood, but that's not the point. They shouldn't have been acting the way they did in the first place.
It was actually so bad on Tuesday that I started crying. I couldn't take all the crap anymore. And anyone that knows me, knows I don't cry like that. Or like, at all, really. These things just...I don't even know. Like, one minute I'll be totally fine, but then someone starts talking and I can't stand hearing anything they have to say. Or I'll be alright, then all of a sudden I just want to give up on everything. I can't wait to get off these stupid steroids. The MTX only has depression as a side effect. THAT I can deal with.
My back has been killing me, too. The Dr. put me on Ultram for it. I haven't gotten it filled yet, but it's supposed to be pretty decent. He said I should only need one or two a day. I hope I don't have to take it every day, but we'll see.
I've also had horrible insomnia lately. And of course, I end up falling asleep around 9am and getting up about 3pm. Six hours would normally be enough for me, but when only about 2 hours of it is a good sleep I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I just can't get out of this horrible sleep cycle. That's certainly not helping any. I need a night when I can go to bet at, say midnight and sleep as late as I need to. maybe then I'd feel a little better.
Also, I've actually been reading lately. As far as my challenges go, I've got most of the V.C. Andrews books read. I'm going to slip "The Time Travelers Wife" in there next, though. I want to watch the movie first. The way I see it, if I read the book first, I'll ruin the movie for myself. If I watch the movie, I'll just find there book that much better. I really wish i was feeling more up to doing things and wasn't getting so distracted all the time so I could fly through books like I was at the end of last year. Hopefully that will get better as I wean off the steroids.
I keep trying to work on that Conan smut I started a couple weeks ago, but I keep getting distracted. I'll open it up and then I'll go check my mail and then I'll end up on Facebook, then here, and never get to it before I go to bed. It's starting to annoy me. But watch, tomorrow night I'll open it up and not be able to write anything either.
I also need to write some non-smut. Seriously. I feel bad for anyone on my F-list that doesn't like smut (how many of you are there, anyway?), so can't read any of the stuff I write. Not that I think I'm a great writer or anything. I do have one story I've been wanting to write for years. I have some rough character sketches and a general outline for it in my head, but I've never been able to start it. I may have to just write scenes randomly and fill it in.
Anyway, that's about all I can think of and make myself do. I'm honestly going to try to be a little more present around here. We'll see how it goes.
It was actually so bad on Tuesday that I started crying. I couldn't take all the crap anymore. And anyone that knows me, knows I don't cry like that. Or like, at all, really. These things just...I don't even know. Like, one minute I'll be totally fine, but then someone starts talking and I can't stand hearing anything they have to say. Or I'll be alright, then all of a sudden I just want to give up on everything. I can't wait to get off these stupid steroids. The MTX only has depression as a side effect. THAT I can deal with.
My back has been killing me, too. The Dr. put me on Ultram for it. I haven't gotten it filled yet, but it's supposed to be pretty decent. He said I should only need one or two a day. I hope I don't have to take it every day, but we'll see.
I've also had horrible insomnia lately. And of course, I end up falling asleep around 9am and getting up about 3pm. Six hours would normally be enough for me, but when only about 2 hours of it is a good sleep I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I just can't get out of this horrible sleep cycle. That's certainly not helping any. I need a night when I can go to bet at, say midnight and sleep as late as I need to. maybe then I'd feel a little better.
Also, I've actually been reading lately. As far as my challenges go, I've got most of the V.C. Andrews books read. I'm going to slip "The Time Travelers Wife" in there next, though. I want to watch the movie first. The way I see it, if I read the book first, I'll ruin the movie for myself. If I watch the movie, I'll just find there book that much better. I really wish i was feeling more up to doing things and wasn't getting so distracted all the time so I could fly through books like I was at the end of last year. Hopefully that will get better as I wean off the steroids.
I keep trying to work on that Conan smut I started a couple weeks ago, but I keep getting distracted. I'll open it up and then I'll go check my mail and then I'll end up on Facebook, then here, and never get to it before I go to bed. It's starting to annoy me. But watch, tomorrow night I'll open it up and not be able to write anything either.
I also need to write some non-smut. Seriously. I feel bad for anyone on my F-list that doesn't like smut (how many of you are there, anyway?), so can't read any of the stuff I write. Not that I think I'm a great writer or anything. I do have one story I've been wanting to write for years. I have some rough character sketches and a general outline for it in my head, but I've never been able to start it. I may have to just write scenes randomly and fill it in.
Anyway, that's about all I can think of and make myself do. I'm honestly going to try to be a little more present around here. We'll see how it goes.