you're giving me a run (for my money) [riley/buffy unrequited angst]
title: You're Giving Me a Run (For My Money)
rating: PG
fandom/pairing: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; unrequited (sort of?) Riley / Buffy.
spoilers/warnings: S05E10, "Into the Woods".
summary: It was one of those things he just knew from the start.
words: 366
disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or whatever Cute Is What We Aim For song this title comes from.
a/n: For the writerverseweekly drabble challenge prompt "silver lining". I don't know how to put my Riley creys into words so this is kinda shitty but um Riley creys.
There never really was That Time when he thought that she would love him, too. He knew that she was Buffy Summers, and he didn’t know (initially) that she was the Slayer, but he didn’t have to know that to understand that she was different in ways that he’ll never be able to measure up to.
He tried anyway, because he’s never liked to half-ass things. Falling in love with her was effortless, like nature. It was like it had never been a question of if; always just when? Convincing himself that she was going to love him, too, was the harder part, but he never stopped trying, because she was Buffy Summers. She was the type of person who put up a fight in every facet of her life and never gave up because it had never been a part of her personality (quitting; surrendering; notbeingenough), and she deserved someone who would fight for her, too.
And sometimes he thought it was almost successful. Sometimes he thought that maybe she was close to caring about him like he felt like he needed her to, and sometimes he almost believed her when she said it. But most times it was just a failure.
Buffy is nothing more than Buffy, but being Buffy alone puts her out of Riley’s league. And he loves her, treasures her, wants her and needs her and can’t live without her (doesn’t want to, at least; doesn’t want to try it), but there comes a point when he has to just bunker down and accept that he can only reach so far.
It’s admirable, that Buffy doesn’t lower her standards for anyone. She’s so strong, stronger than anyone Riley’s ever met, and he loves her so much more for that. It would be easier if he didn’t, easier if he could hate her, but he can’t, and he doesn’t want to try that, either.
When the decision for him to leave is made, he has only the bare minimum of involvement. He waits for her to decide, waits for her make the choice and prays that she might think there’s something in Riley worth wanting.
She doesn’t, and Riley doesn’t look back.
rating: PG
fandom/pairing: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; unrequited (sort of?) Riley / Buffy.
spoilers/warnings: S05E10, "Into the Woods".
summary: It was one of those things he just knew from the start.
words: 366
disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or whatever Cute Is What We Aim For song this title comes from.
a/n: For the writerverseweekly drabble challenge prompt "silver lining". I don't know how to put my Riley creys into words so this is kinda shitty but um Riley creys.
There never really was That Time when he thought that she would love him, too. He knew that she was Buffy Summers, and he didn’t know (initially) that she was the Slayer, but he didn’t have to know that to understand that she was different in ways that he’ll never be able to measure up to.
He tried anyway, because he’s never liked to half-ass things. Falling in love with her was effortless, like nature. It was like it had never been a question of if; always just when? Convincing himself that she was going to love him, too, was the harder part, but he never stopped trying, because she was Buffy Summers. She was the type of person who put up a fight in every facet of her life and never gave up because it had never been a part of her personality (quitting; surrendering; notbeingenough), and she deserved someone who would fight for her, too.
And sometimes he thought it was almost successful. Sometimes he thought that maybe she was close to caring about him like he felt like he needed her to, and sometimes he almost believed her when she said it. But most times it was just a failure.
Buffy is nothing more than Buffy, but being Buffy alone puts her out of Riley’s league. And he loves her, treasures her, wants her and needs her and can’t live without her (doesn’t want to, at least; doesn’t want to try it), but there comes a point when he has to just bunker down and accept that he can only reach so far.
It’s admirable, that Buffy doesn’t lower her standards for anyone. She’s so strong, stronger than anyone Riley’s ever met, and he loves her so much more for that. It would be easier if he didn’t, easier if he could hate her, but he can’t, and he doesn’t want to try that, either.
When the decision for him to leave is made, he has only the bare minimum of involvement. He waits for her to decide, waits for her make the choice and prays that she might think there’s something in Riley worth wanting.
She doesn’t, and Riley doesn’t look back.