if there's any other way, i'll do anything for you

[domina_igne]

The thing to do when one has a mopey god on one's couch is to make toast and tea.  Because Liz has vague memories of this being a comfort thing when she was very small and fluish

Comments

[mercurialnature]

Toast and jam is an excellent thing and it's made even better with hair-ruffling.

"Thanks, Liz. Sorry for taking over your couch for so long, but, uh, you know." Yes, Liz, if you can understand his strange, interpretive hand-waving dance you do indeed know.

[domina_igne]

It's less confusing than the bee dance? Although to be fair, few things were more confusing than the bee dance. Liz wrinkles her nose. "Don't apologize." Surely Hermes knows he has done things worth a thousand couches! Surely it is not necessary to detail them all! There's only so much toast in the world, you know.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Because let's not waste time with pleasant conversation.

[mercurialnature]

"I don't know really. I, uh, left him a note in the kitchen. I think it's best if..." If he eats some more toast before continuing. "I've got my providence to care for and I think that'll keep me out of more trouble than usual."

[domina_igne]

Toast is the...well, 'food of the gods' is either really inappropriate or hilarious in this context. Either way. "Are you just taking some time to think or is this it?" Mmm, tea.

[mercurialnature]

"I don't know. He's been so distant for so long, I mean, I'd show up during his lunch hours and he didn't even want to see me. I was an embarrassment."

It's a shame when a relationship passes the 'omg, me, me, me' phase.

[domina_igne]

Damn shame. It's like the polar opposite of a fine wine.

Liz winces almost imperceptibly, but not quite, just a little twinge of her facial features. "That might be a bad sign."

[mercurialnature]

He wriggles and beeps her nose, "I figured that out. So I sent him gifts, which he didn't think were funny and then he started to...uh..." This calls for another intricate ballet of flailing and gestures. "...with Otto."

"If you could come home to me or have a fling with Doc Ock, what would you do?"

[domina_igne]

It is a testament to the fact that Liz loves Hermes great googly bunches that he is not on fire right now, as only a select few personages could remain after having beeped her nose.

Meanwhile, she gapes a little. A lot! Like O_o..............;_;...........>_<....o_o so. "No offense met to the man, but I'd rather have frogs invade the house than have a fling with Doc Ock."

[mercurialnature]

But she's got such a cute nose, it's just made for beeping. It's not all that bad, after all, he didn't tickle her ribs or something that really shows a reckless abandonment.

"Otto, Some, Peter. Peter stabbed me and he still..." Aww, someone's a sulky kitten.

[domina_igne]

AHahhahahaha oh, mortals were not meant to have the relationships of gods. Liz and Henry's biggest marital entanglement was that weird business with his alternate, and they solved that by...well. RIGHT, so they're a little unorthodox too, but this is just slightly different!

Liz hairpets, much like one might do to a sulky kitten, just before it chewed one's hand into ribbons. Hermes will not do that though, right? Right. "These things are not conducive to a healthy relationship. If I'm going to state the baldly obvious."

[mercurialnature]

Norman's also schtupped a pair of his alternates, but Hermes doesn't bother to list them off.

He'll finish his toast and lick his fingers clean before settling into a proper snuggle position, "I think I've kinda got that, yeah. So, so I miss him."

[domina_igne]

Liz would be grateful for the not listing, if she knew. It's all very meta, isn't it! She tilts her cheek onto Hermes' head, which is rather like leaning it into a field of sunshine, or glitter or something. Either way it's pleasant, shut up.

"I miss cigarettes." Her quitting phases don't last long, and really it's not necessary to draw a bunch of really obvious 'hazardous to the health' parallels.

[mercurialnature]

He doesn't get all over the furniture in exactly the same way as glitter, so that makes it better, right? (He just sprawls all over it instead.)

"You're pretty when you're smoking." Squinchy-nose-time. "And when you're not, too."

[domina_igne]

Yes, sometimes nude and in ways that frighten the children. Or...child, or however many people live with them now.

"You're darling. We're not talking about me, though." She casts Hermes a vaguely arch glance - srs bidness times are now, sir!

[mercurialnature]

Hermes keeps his bits covered in house. (Unless he's making the nude dash from the shower to the laundry room and everyone does that.)

"I suppose I should figure out what to do next? I love your toast and all, but..."

[domina_igne]

Given that one time they had a tentacle monster in the washing machine, bits should be cared for especially while in the laundry room.

Their lives are...different from other people's.

"Well, it seems like one of you should move out, or something like that." She tilts her head doubtfully. Her experience with normal human relationships is pretty lacking - gods and...um, Normans even more so.