accepting my illness
i finally have accepted the fact that I AM ill, that i do have fibromyalgia...and that for the rest of my life I will have chronic pain that is not cureable..
.However...Yesterday I went to my general doc for a follow up on my thyroid meds and I got to see a really great new PA at my docs and he also lives with chronic pain..get the "lives with" part. He's gonna inject my trigger points that are keeping my muscles tight and causing pain that no amount of drugs can control...so Wednesday I go get my first injections of a mix of an anesthetic for pain, directly into the muscle + Toradol to help with inflammation. It's all non-steroidal. He swears he can make me a functioning person again, living with pain yet "LIVING!!"...Pray for me please. Many days I've wanted to put a bullet in my brain..don't have a gun though.
I wanna smile, and dance and kiss and laugh again!
I missed my appt last week due to the weather, and David, the PA, said he never is at that office on Monday, but the other doc had taken off for MLK Jr Day...so I am seeing this as a fated event. I suffered greatly last week...but it lead me to the place I was yesterday. Gonna have shots starting above the nape of my neck, the occipital region, down to my SI joint http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint.
Even in my jaw since I have TMJ. I should be feeling all Losey-Goosey for once!
Pray for me please.