So it's been a big few days...
..and I feel like that crushing weight has been lifted off of my chest and for the first time in weeks I can breathe freely and deeply.
So much has happened.
So much has been said.
So many secrets have been shared.
There has been laughter.
There have been tears.
And there have been a few awkward silences in between.
And now I truly feel like the burden has been dropped and the door has been slammed shut and sealed closed.
Things in my world are good.
My “be good and get healthy” streak is improving day by day - and each day I really am doing better, moving faster, burning more than the day before. Each night I go to bed tired and aching, and actually wanting to do all again (if not harder, faster and more!) the next day.
Things with B are absolutely beyond awesome.
Every single moment of every single day she let’s me know that I am loved. There are SMSs, phone calls, emails and family visits while I am at work. She has been so beyond amazing these last few weeks, and her support has been invaluable. I truly do not know if I could have put the pieces all together and made it through the other side if it hadn’t been for her love and guidance. She’s my rock.
She has allowed me to be so insanely selfish and so ridiculously self-centred. She’s let me wallow in misery as if I was the only one in the world who was ever hurt, and not once has she pushed me to rush the process. She’s encouraged me to face my demons and kick their assess, and she’s lifted my leg when I haven’t had the strength. She loves me in a way that I could never explain and do justice to.
Of course, she has her own demons and she's done a good job of battling them. And she's forgiven me for not being anywhere near as supportive of her journey as she has been of mine.
She's an amazing friend and partner and lover and mother.
I have no idea what I ever did to deserve such love and friendship - but I certainly know that my life would be very different without it.