(no subject)
oops I did it again!
So now I know where I get my irrationality from. Now I know where I get my fighting from. Thanks mother, we're much more alike than I ever thought. I don't even know what to do. I can't believe I've done this. I can't believe I uttered the words. Violet is far too smart. I know she knows I love her but I also know she'll take this seriously, and she has every reason to. When I'm angry like that, more than likly I'm not thinking correctly, and she's so fucking smart that she can slaughter anyone just by having a higher vocabulary. I know this and before it even happens am afraid of it which adds to the crazyness. I can't even talk straight. When I think about what I said last night, in my mind it's "bldhfuesmdfsodiurosadghdjfhsudythghgdsdmf." The worst part of all of this is I don't even fucking know why I was so angry. How do I apologize for saying shit that I said when it was completely unjustified. I'm screwed. Unforgivable. I wasn't even bluffing. I just wasn't thinking. I can't even remember last night. I'm always oblivious. I wanted to be taken seriously and I was far from serious. And she knows it. But what do I do now. The second I got in my car I knew what I did was dumb. I can't think about anything else. I can hardly see out of my eyes. I guess what hurt the most is that she honestly believes that I do these..."petty" things on purpous, to piss her off. Why the fuck would I spend so much fucking time with someone I didn't like. And then tried to say I give back nothing. blllllllllasjdhkhfskdhfskdfhskdhroeirfsaoidfjalsdjaldhfsdughsdohgsdgfodjr;sdfjas;dlhfsaklhfskldfhso angry.
So now I know where I get my irrationality from. Now I know where I get my fighting from. Thanks mother, we're much more alike than I ever thought. I don't even know what to do. I can't believe I've done this. I can't believe I uttered the words. Violet is far too smart. I know she knows I love her but I also know she'll take this seriously, and she has every reason to. When I'm angry like that, more than likly I'm not thinking correctly, and she's so fucking smart that she can slaughter anyone just by having a higher vocabulary. I know this and before it even happens am afraid of it which adds to the crazyness. I can't even talk straight. When I think about what I said last night, in my mind it's "bldhfuesmdfsodiurosadghdjfhsudythghgdsdmf." The worst part of all of this is I don't even fucking know why I was so angry. How do I apologize for saying shit that I said when it was completely unjustified. I'm screwed. Unforgivable. I wasn't even bluffing. I just wasn't thinking. I can't even remember last night. I'm always oblivious. I wanted to be taken seriously and I was far from serious. And she knows it. But what do I do now. The second I got in my car I knew what I did was dumb. I can't think about anything else. I can hardly see out of my eyes. I guess what hurt the most is that she honestly believes that I do these..."petty" things on purpous, to piss her off. Why the fuck would I spend so much fucking time with someone I didn't like. And then tried to say I give back nothing. blllllllllasjdhkhfskdhfskdfhskdhroeirfsaoidfjalsdjaldhfsdughsdohgsdgfodjr;sdfjas;dlhfsaklhfskldfhso angry.