(no subject)
OH OH OH!
What a horrible time! For once, just once I thought I may have convinced myself that I could have a physical relationship with someone without it depressing the shit out of me. I just want to love! But wait, everybody SUCKS. It's times like these that I'm not surprised I only spend time with Violet. I'm so social, I love to please, but I feel as if I honestly dislike everyone else in the world. Why is everyone so fucked up in all the wrong places? I dig fucked up people. I like people with problems, with a backbone, with substance and a reason for their existence, a motive for survival, people worth my interest. I'm the chillest person I know. I wish more people were like me. Fuck modesty, if people had the same thought process I did, or at least were open to it. This shit isn't even going to tie together....let me ramble. Since when is the girl the one that never calls back. Since when is the female the one that doesn't want commitment, only wants a light sexual fling. I have a serious fucking problem! Every guy I ever meet falls in love with some awkward dumb blonde. I know my dress it short, I know my hair is blonde, I know my boobs are out. I accept that you're going to notice this. I accept that this attracts the wrong kind of attention, but do you listen to the words that come out of my mouth? They're all too fucking stupid to realize that they're the dumbasses. I hate that. I hate being around stupid people, that are so stupid they don't even understand intelligence, or sarcasm, references, humor. No one has a sense of humor these days. I hate dumb people that are such airheads they think I'm the dumb one. I'm struggling to understand why I'm here, and all the other pussy 18 year old problems that I seem to have. I wanted to cry when I got my nails done. I can never believe the lack of depth in people these days. What do I have to do to find a decent human being? I'm not even narrowing this down to idiotic teenagers. In fact I have more problems with adults, sad, middle-aged, think-their-blonde-hair-and-fake-tan-makes-it-okay-to-act-16-fucking-years-old. For how much weed they smoked in the 60-70's you would think they'd be a little more chill. BLSADHFSDJLf. And now I feel ridiculous for thinking such cliché, goodbye-cruel-world thoughts. But come the fuck on. 40 year old Westlake moms talk shit to me?! As satisfied as I am with Violet, I mean I don't think I could love another as much as I love her, how has this happened? Where can I go to find someone that doesn't just accept that going to school, getting a job, making money, and having a family, is the inevitable future. Why can't people strive for passion, excitement, freedom, intelligence, love, and of course those oh so wonderfully lovely negative emotions? Allow yourself to feel! I really hope no one has even bothered to read through this. I'm just pissed off.
What a horrible time! For once, just once I thought I may have convinced myself that I could have a physical relationship with someone without it depressing the shit out of me. I just want to love! But wait, everybody SUCKS. It's times like these that I'm not surprised I only spend time with Violet. I'm so social, I love to please, but I feel as if I honestly dislike everyone else in the world. Why is everyone so fucked up in all the wrong places? I dig fucked up people. I like people with problems, with a backbone, with substance and a reason for their existence, a motive for survival, people worth my interest. I'm the chillest person I know. I wish more people were like me. Fuck modesty, if people had the same thought process I did, or at least were open to it. This shit isn't even going to tie together....let me ramble. Since when is the girl the one that never calls back. Since when is the female the one that doesn't want commitment, only wants a light sexual fling. I have a serious fucking problem! Every guy I ever meet falls in love with some awkward dumb blonde. I know my dress it short, I know my hair is blonde, I know my boobs are out. I accept that you're going to notice this. I accept that this attracts the wrong kind of attention, but do you listen to the words that come out of my mouth? They're all too fucking stupid to realize that they're the dumbasses. I hate that. I hate being around stupid people, that are so stupid they don't even understand intelligence, or sarcasm, references, humor. No one has a sense of humor these days. I hate dumb people that are such airheads they think I'm the dumb one. I'm struggling to understand why I'm here, and all the other pussy 18 year old problems that I seem to have. I wanted to cry when I got my nails done. I can never believe the lack of depth in people these days. What do I have to do to find a decent human being? I'm not even narrowing this down to idiotic teenagers. In fact I have more problems with adults, sad, middle-aged, think-their-blonde-hair-and-fake-tan-makes-it-okay-to-act-16-fucking-years-old. For how much weed they smoked in the 60-70's you would think they'd be a little more chill. BLSADHFSDJLf. And now I feel ridiculous for thinking such cliché, goodbye-cruel-world thoughts. But come the fuck on. 40 year old Westlake moms talk shit to me?! As satisfied as I am with Violet, I mean I don't think I could love another as much as I love her, how has this happened? Where can I go to find someone that doesn't just accept that going to school, getting a job, making money, and having a family, is the inevitable future. Why can't people strive for passion, excitement, freedom, intelligence, love, and of course those oh so wonderfully lovely negative emotions? Allow yourself to feel! I really hope no one has even bothered to read through this. I'm just pissed off.