Reflections of a blind eye
As I sat there on the edge of the water I knew only one thing : I did not want to go home. As the tiny stones I once held skipped across the water, I realized that I was partaking in the same events that had gotten me into trouble in the first place. I swore up and down that if I were to get out of the jam in one piece that I would stay out of the situation for good. But the next day there I was again. I knew I couldn't run forever. It was my fault I was in that position. I had the 3 signs of confirmation that said, "Stop!" Yet I selfishly ignored it. I pretended they weren't signs and dismissed them as coincidence. Ironically it was me who had just two days before said, "I don't believe in coincidence." The others didn't understand why I sat there for so long entertaining my senses with the nature around me. They didn't understand that I just couldn't fall into it. Life. I don't see myself falling into it ever. As the years go by I wonder if I'll ever get the hang of it. Sometimes I think that perhaps I'm not of this world and I was somehow left behind on account of some chaotic freak accident. I'm here physically, but my soul is not at rest here. Still, I try to go on day to day pretending to understand when I really just dont GET it. Searching for the answer only means more questions- most in which I really don't want the answer to. After collecting what was left of my broken thoughts, I went back to the place I've always known as "home". I went back to the people who are said to care most. I knew that even though I messed up, no punishment or ass-chewing is more severe than the condemnation to my role in this world. I greeted my fate with a smile.