wellll shiiitttt
Ok, so I'm not sure how to feel about this whole thing. Because, I really do like my roommates. I'm really fortunate to have been matched up with Whitney, Brie and Kristen... I even found friends like Katy and Tasha and Alex and slowly but surely I'm finding people to converse with... but then again, here I am, in my dorm, ALL BY MYSELF. I don't get to go out and party and live it up and have a great drunk time with people because 1) I have too much homework 2) I apparently seem like A goody goody and 3) if I don't keep my GPA up I loose my scholarship. I can never go out to lunch with them because I am only allowed one meal a day on my meal plan because that's all I can afford. I don't have more than five dollars in my account and I hate how every friendship I ever build is always hindered by my financial status. i'm really trying to create life for me out here and it just seems like I'm swimming up stream. I have never really been able to find a balance between work and play and pretty much people see me as dull. :(
But like I said, I'm fortunate. When it's just us girls in the dorm, we all have a ball. We laugh, we get our work done, we genuinely have a great time. But Kristen makes friends so easily it makes me so jealous. But then again, the friends she makes aren't exactly the friends I want to HAVE. ... like, Justin and Damien, these kids down the hall from us... they are still stuck in this 'it is the coolest thing ever to underage drink' and when I don't get all EXCITED about 'breaking the law' or when I say that I'm going to the gym or when I say that I've got work to do, they are really rude to me. Not to mention, they come up in our dorm and eat our food without asking and then Kristen and Brie and Damien and Justin and Alex all leave because we aren't cool enough for a party. Whitney doesn't drink, so I especialy don't want to leave her stranded. And I do drink, but I'm not about to go prove it to them. I am pretty pissed off because last night when I got back from the gym I was really winded and Justin this douche was here and offered me some cranberry/lemonade juice and I of course took it and drank it and it turns out that it had a lot of alcohol in it but it was one of those drinks that didn't TASTE like it did and so I ended up getting really sick and not knowing why and I called Josiah really upset because I was scared and when I figured it out, I got really mad and of course I came off as the bitch roommate. I know my roomies like me, and it's their room too, I just wish Kristen met nicer people...
ugh, I just hate being the girl who has to miss out on all the fun. it really bugs me.
But like I said, I'm fortunate. When it's just us girls in the dorm, we all have a ball. We laugh, we get our work done, we genuinely have a great time. But Kristen makes friends so easily it makes me so jealous. But then again, the friends she makes aren't exactly the friends I want to HAVE. ... like, Justin and Damien, these kids down the hall from us... they are still stuck in this 'it is the coolest thing ever to underage drink' and when I don't get all EXCITED about 'breaking the law' or when I say that I'm going to the gym or when I say that I've got work to do, they are really rude to me. Not to mention, they come up in our dorm and eat our food without asking and then Kristen and Brie and Damien and Justin and Alex all leave because we aren't cool enough for a party. Whitney doesn't drink, so I especialy don't want to leave her stranded. And I do drink, but I'm not about to go prove it to them. I am pretty pissed off because last night when I got back from the gym I was really winded and Justin this douche was here and offered me some cranberry/lemonade juice and I of course took it and drank it and it turns out that it had a lot of alcohol in it but it was one of those drinks that didn't TASTE like it did and so I ended up getting really sick and not knowing why and I called Josiah really upset because I was scared and when I figured it out, I got really mad and of course I came off as the bitch roommate. I know my roomies like me, and it's their room too, I just wish Kristen met nicer people...
ugh, I just hate being the girl who has to miss out on all the fun. it really bugs me.