(no subject)
I will admit to being one of those people who loves St. Valentine's Day but has bashed it horribly when I was lonely on it, or because it was what everyone else was doing and I felt silly for being the only one who thought it sweet. I think having a day where people celebrate love is brilliant, because it doesn't mean you don't every other day of the year, or that you have to do something tremendous or extravagant. Save your surprises for other days, because even if they say it's rubbish they're still secretly expecting some sort of affections on February fourteenth. I like to make it a day where I do things to express my love rather than buy them, though this year it was harder because I was away from the other half of my heart. I bought Hayden flowers because I can't grow them for beans, plus it's hard to send potted plants from Hawaii to Thailand. They were special, more than just a dozen red roses and baby's breath, please. It took me ages to find someone who would put together what I wanted and then get them there in time. They're not usually grown in the same season, see. Or that's what they told me. He and the little one are sick, so I put together a package for them in my stead. It had alligator soup, because nothing makes you feel better than fresh alligator soup. I put in animal crackers because Dommie loves those. Nutella, because I didn't think you could find it in Thailand. All their favourite chocolates, cinnamon hearts, and a kitten and a monkey for them to snuggle with because we all want to do that when we're sickly. Hayden and I played word association over the phone all night with many rewards in between. It was a brilliant day, even if I couldn't be with them in body. My heart was there, though.
The fifth was Dommie's third birthday, and I will admit to having a moment of going "Shit, I'm getting old." and then I doused myself in pickled egg brine. I don't really feel old. I feel young and very much alive, but I was struck by how fast time is going by. I can't believe it's been three years since his shriek marked his coming into the world. Three years since his hand, so much more tiny than all the other little babes in their cribs wrapped tight around the tip of my pinky finger and wouldn't let go. Just wouldn't let go. Three years since he's wormed his way into my heart despite all the hard times. He calls Hayden Daddy now, and every time it melts my heart, because it's not just that he's calling him Daddy, it's that he is his Daddy. That we're family. We'll be married in eighteen days, and seven more after than everything legal will say that Hayden is my partner, my husband, and that Dommie is our child. I can't begin to describe my elation.
They're together in Thailand while I'm back to work in Hawaii, getting used to being alone with each other. I miss them madly but there's only so few days before we're all together again. I'm like the kid before Christmas, crossing off all the days on the calendar as they pass, red sharpe dangling from a hook in the wall, swinging back and forth to the breeze that comes from outside where I'm playing in the grass to distract myself, finding critters and friends to share with my family when we're all together again. Planting flowers because next time I want to be able to give him potted ones no matter where he is. I will smuggle them in if I have to.
February has been good to me. A little thin in with the thick but nothing we can't handle. March is going to be even better.
The fifth was Dommie's third birthday, and I will admit to having a moment of going "Shit, I'm getting old." and then I doused myself in pickled egg brine. I don't really feel old. I feel young and very much alive, but I was struck by how fast time is going by. I can't believe it's been three years since his shriek marked his coming into the world. Three years since his hand, so much more tiny than all the other little babes in their cribs wrapped tight around the tip of my pinky finger and wouldn't let go. Just wouldn't let go. Three years since he's wormed his way into my heart despite all the hard times. He calls Hayden Daddy now, and every time it melts my heart, because it's not just that he's calling him Daddy, it's that he is his Daddy. That we're family. We'll be married in eighteen days, and seven more after than everything legal will say that Hayden is my partner, my husband, and that Dommie is our child. I can't begin to describe my elation.
They're together in Thailand while I'm back to work in Hawaii, getting used to being alone with each other. I miss them madly but there's only so few days before we're all together again. I'm like the kid before Christmas, crossing off all the days on the calendar as they pass, red sharpe dangling from a hook in the wall, swinging back and forth to the breeze that comes from outside where I'm playing in the grass to distract myself, finding critters and friends to share with my family when we're all together again. Planting flowers because next time I want to be able to give him potted ones no matter where he is. I will smuggle them in if I have to.
February has been good to me. A little thin in with the thick but nothing we can't handle. March is going to be even better.