Soulmates or Best Friends
A few years back, a friend of mine broke up with her girlfriend of 8 years because they are becoming more like best friends than soulmate. Some time back, someone blurted a sensitive question "what's the difference between best friends and soulmates in the absence of physical intimacy of a homosexual relationship?"
That's a really...thought provoking question then. The group started to rationalise that if they are partners, they are unlikely to lose that physical intimacy. I can't fully agree because we are often under so much pressure, some simply lose the interest. That's partly responsible for the low birth rate in marriages too.
So...we are back to the question. What's the difference? On the superficial level, in a committed and stable relationship, I think probably soulmates plan their lives and future together. They are willing to take the risk of uncertainty to commit all aspects of their lives to one another. In Singapore, buying a flat alone can be challenging but the government provided a way for two individuals to co-own a unit. I guess this is the closest to being married as a gay couple in Singapore. Actually it is marriage since our Singapore men these days hardly propose, they simply says "Let's apply for a flat together."
So may be we have to think twice when we suggest to our soulmates if they would like to purchase a place together. And do be careful when we answer that question when we are asked - Yes, I love you. Not now but I do love you. Never but I do love you (ouch).
Of course, at a deeper level, we probably can talk about emotional connectedness and love; the abstract. The question then will be, if you do love one another that much, what's stopping you from taking the step to committing in a more concrete manner?
It's difficult to dispute the old saying that homosexual relationship offers less stability if we observe it at this angle. The risk that the couple is willing to take in deed does hold some water.
That's a really...thought provoking question then. The group started to rationalise that if they are partners, they are unlikely to lose that physical intimacy. I can't fully agree because we are often under so much pressure, some simply lose the interest. That's partly responsible for the low birth rate in marriages too.
So...we are back to the question. What's the difference? On the superficial level, in a committed and stable relationship, I think probably soulmates plan their lives and future together. They are willing to take the risk of uncertainty to commit all aspects of their lives to one another. In Singapore, buying a flat alone can be challenging but the government provided a way for two individuals to co-own a unit. I guess this is the closest to being married as a gay couple in Singapore. Actually it is marriage since our Singapore men these days hardly propose, they simply says "Let's apply for a flat together."
So may be we have to think twice when we suggest to our soulmates if they would like to purchase a place together. And do be careful when we answer that question when we are asked - Yes, I love you. Not now but I do love you. Never but I do love you (ouch).
Of course, at a deeper level, we probably can talk about emotional connectedness and love; the abstract. The question then will be, if you do love one another that much, what's stopping you from taking the step to committing in a more concrete manner?
It's difficult to dispute the old saying that homosexual relationship offers less stability if we observe it at this angle. The risk that the couple is willing to take in deed does hold some water.