Letter To The People
I have given up on the idea of everyone hating me, it is stupid and immature of me. I don't care what people say about me and if anyone is angry at me, please tell me or I will ask you. I have realized that is was very immature of me to be complaining about people in my past who I didn't like and now I have realized I am the one who caused all these problems. I just want to be nice to everyone. I have had this dream which always has been repeating (of me forgiving some people who I "hated"). I should know better. On my behalf, to all the people who I have pissed off with my stupid actions, I am sorry. This entry is to give people such as the bandos and some people from my old school that I am sorry for being a bitch. As a person, I usually get mad at people when they are mean to me, because I feel that what they are doing is wrong. (When in reality and what I am doing from now on, is confront them and realize that people are being mean to me or ignoring me for a reason or something I did.) From now on, if someone is not nice to me, I am not going to hide in a corner like a loser, but I am going to confront them and hopefully they will accept my apology and sorta understand me. The purpose of this entry is to apologize for me horrid actions over the course of my 2 years at Needham High School. I can understand and I do understand that in Needham High School, all I wanted was friends, a boyfriend, and to get good grades, as well as be the best. This pushed people away from me, by acting like a primadonna by thinking I deserved the highest grades, the best chair and band, as well as the hardest solo and I regret that. And I picked on other people who got more than me, as part of my stupid and illogical insecurity. I am a senior, now in high school, I shouldn't be flaming off the mouth at other people from my past and realize, that I did wrong so I was the one in the end who was wrong from the beginning. I admit I shouldn't have been a jerk, I shouldn't have acted like a jealous bitch, I should just accept the way things are and that would be the mature thing. I shouldn't have done anything rude and obnoxious and I don't hate anyone, because it is stupid to do so. I hope you people from marching band as well as others will forgive me someday when I am older. I know that to some people this is a shock, because they think I would always be a bitch. If you still think that I am a bitch after this, I don't care, it is my way of telling people that I was wrong and I should have acted better. What is past is past and I can't change it, if I had one wish, I would change what I did so these people who are brilliant individuals, wouldn't hate me so I could be their friends or maybe even be able to associate with them. I am asking all of you people in all honesty, that I want you to forgive me, as my only wish.
-Jackie