It's just a day job.
Warning: A lot of rambling and wangst follows. I'm trying to sort out my thoughts, so it won't be that easy to read, I think.
***
I'm still at my first job, and I've only been working there for two and a half years or so, yet I feel like I'm already fed up with it. I've been through a lot - several projects, lots of stress alternated with periods of boredom, changes in management and a mass exodus of co-workers - and I feel like it's time to move on. That didn't stop me from feeling pissed when I was passed up for promotion though. >.>
It wasn't really a surprise. It was mostly my bad; when your boss asks if you want to take a "leadership position," you take it. Never mind if the idea of leading a bunch of people scares the living shit out of you. Never mind if handling irate customers is the last thing you want to do, ever. It's just part of job advancement. Part of growing up. Yet part of me was kicking and screaming at the prospect. ._. I started working without knowing what kind of career I want. Now I do know, but it has nothing to do with the day job at all. I want to write, while somehow providing for myself during the day. No corporate careers for me, I know that now.
I suppose I'm looking for that mythical perfect job that leaves me enough time for myself and my writing while providing the crucial left-brain stimulus that keeps my right brain from getting too high on its own creativity. Nothing overly demanding, but satisfying just the same. Maybe I'm aiming for the wrong thing. ^^; I know that I want a job that I can enjoy, even if it's nothing special. Just a way for me to provide for myself while giving me something to do during the day, when I'm not writing.
***
No matter how many times I've thought or written or talked about this, my thoughts about it are still incoherent. Sorry about the way this post rambled and whined; I figured that writing it out like this would help clarify matters. At best I've just reaffirmed to myself what I've always known: my day job is just that, a day job. What I do is write (or try to write), over and over. Maybe I'll finish something fit for a contest or for publication, I don't know yet lol. Writing is my own personal Mt. Everest (as Hugh MacLeod defines it in his book Ignore Everybody, at #9); my life won't be complete if I don't keep at it. So, here goes.
***
I'm still at my first job, and I've only been working there for two and a half years or so, yet I feel like I'm already fed up with it. I've been through a lot - several projects, lots of stress alternated with periods of boredom, changes in management and a mass exodus of co-workers - and I feel like it's time to move on. That didn't stop me from feeling pissed when I was passed up for promotion though. >.>
It wasn't really a surprise. It was mostly my bad; when your boss asks if you want to take a "leadership position," you take it. Never mind if the idea of leading a bunch of people scares the living shit out of you. Never mind if handling irate customers is the last thing you want to do, ever. It's just part of job advancement. Part of growing up. Yet part of me was kicking and screaming at the prospect. ._. I started working without knowing what kind of career I want. Now I do know, but it has nothing to do with the day job at all. I want to write, while somehow providing for myself during the day. No corporate careers for me, I know that now.
I suppose I'm looking for that mythical perfect job that leaves me enough time for myself and my writing while providing the crucial left-brain stimulus that keeps my right brain from getting too high on its own creativity. Nothing overly demanding, but satisfying just the same. Maybe I'm aiming for the wrong thing. ^^; I know that I want a job that I can enjoy, even if it's nothing special. Just a way for me to provide for myself while giving me something to do during the day, when I'm not writing.
***
No matter how many times I've thought or written or talked about this, my thoughts about it are still incoherent. Sorry about the way this post rambled and whined; I figured that writing it out like this would help clarify matters. At best I've just reaffirmed to myself what I've always known: my day job is just that, a day job. What I do is write (or try to write), over and over. Maybe I'll finish something fit for a contest or for publication, I don't know yet lol. Writing is my own personal Mt. Everest (as Hugh MacLeod defines it in his book Ignore Everybody, at #9); my life won't be complete if I don't keep at it. So, here goes.