(no subject)

[dollyb]

Oh my gosh.

So this black guy just comes and knocks on my door.

Him: "Yo, I'm your neighbor and I was wonderin' if you had a cigarette. I'm jus' bored and out for a bit. . . Hopin' you got a smoke."
Me: "Neighbor from where?"
Him: "A couple buildings over, and one back."
Me: "And you consider yourself 'my neighbor'?"
Him: "Yeah. . . Uh, yeah. You got a smoke?"
Me: "Yeah, hold on, let me grab one. Don't let my cat out."
Him: "Aww, that's YO MAN'S job."
Me: "Yeah, ok. My man."
I give him a cigarette.
Him: "So you GOT a man? Or what?"
Me: "Is that any of your business?"
Him: "Well, I'm just bored and you know... Can I come in? Maybe we can get to know each other, or somefin."
Me: "If you had breasts, I'd get to know you."
Him:"...."
Me: "...."
Him: "That's messed up."
Me: "Sorry, man, I was born that way."
Him: "Well, I got a lot of hunnies, you know, so you know, can I come in just for a second?"
Me: "No. Can you get my cat please?"
Him: Get your cat. That's what I get. . .  'Get my cat'."
Hands cat to me.
Me: "Bye."
Him: "I'll see you later, Cutie."

$^@#$@$% WHAT?! NO!!!!!