coooooooooooool ...
i am moving home.
this wasn't an easy decision by any means, but right now, it seems like the best decision for me. originally, i didn't think i could live at home. i thought i would lose my mind. but lately, i've been going home and spending more and more time there and i haven't lost my mind yet. given, i don't have a room of my own at home (i share a room with my 6 year old brother lol), because our house is just not big enough to accomodate everyone living there. and the bed that i sleep in really sucks. i dont know if it's a shitty bed or if it's the fact that i sleep next to liam and he usually ends up sleeping horizontal or digging his little toes into me- i dont know. i just sleep bad and it sucks. - so the fact that i haven't lost my mind could change. but i've applied like CCCRAAAZZZYYY to jobs here, and haven't gonne ONE call. i am not even exagerating - i apply for at least one job every day. it's f-ing brutal. i've applied for jobs at home too (no call backs though...big suprise there). it is so frustrating. it is so frustrating sitting on almost 25,000$ of debt, and i can't do ANYTHING with the "education" that i've earned. people say, oh, it will come in time. everyone who has said that to me or who is going to say that to me, can shove it up their ass. when YOU are sitting on that amount of debt, we'll see how you feel. i have to start paying that back soon, and i am currently jobless. how the fuck am i supposed to pay it back? hmm??? or there are the ones who say it has to do with the economy...right? NO. because there are always sick people. ALWAYS. and there has been absolutely no slow down in the amount of job postings there have been for my kind of career and i haven't gotten one call back. and i've applied to every oneeeeeeeee. . F. M. L.
so i am moving home, i think maybe i'll be happier there? i have no idea. i thought london would bring me happiness, but i spend 95% of my time alone and there were two weeks there where i cried every single day because i am so frustrated and disappointed and just lost. but going home, i hung out with some old friends- well, not really old, just ones that i haven't been able to see for the past 6 months because of school and everything- like nikki & cassie, best friends, that i've just reconnected with and who have made me happy and feel not so alone and lost. sarah is here in london but she makes no time for anyone but rob and school. SAME GOD DAMN OLD THING ... my friendship with her is getting so old. things will never change. she says she'll be "sad" if i leave ... but why? she doesn't make the time for me anyways. i guess if i move home it's just another easy excuse she can use as to why she makes me effort to be my friend or to be a part of my life.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not, i really enjoy spending time with my family. i spend a lot of time with my sister and it's awesum : )
soooooooo my sister and shawn are coming to get me on sunday. i am leaving my furniture and stuff here (i have to be out aug 1st anyways) and i'll be home for who knows how long. i applied for a job at a retirement home as a part-time receptionist so lets all cross our fingers in hopes that i get it!!
i wanted to be home the past three days; the weather has been so hot and gorgeous and all i've really wanted to do is lay out on my back patio and fry like a lobster :) lol. i've spent some time outside but living in an apartment means there is no where to tan. and yeah, i could go for a walk but being in 34C weather is exhausting after a bit. today rich and i went downtown and we came back up to our place on the bus, which wasn't air conditioned. omg, we were roasting on it. halfway home i realized that the bottom of my legs were sweating perfusely. ew. our stop comes and we get off and there is actually moisture ... and a lot of it, on the seat, left from my legs. EW. HOW EMBARASSING. i mean, if you got on the bus and saw that, would you be grossed out? or, if you watched someone get off the bus and then saw that after they got off? i guess i wouldn't think any less of them, considering how freaking hot it was. lol.
this wasn't an easy decision by any means, but right now, it seems like the best decision for me. originally, i didn't think i could live at home. i thought i would lose my mind. but lately, i've been going home and spending more and more time there and i haven't lost my mind yet. given, i don't have a room of my own at home (i share a room with my 6 year old brother lol), because our house is just not big enough to accomodate everyone living there. and the bed that i sleep in really sucks. i dont know if it's a shitty bed or if it's the fact that i sleep next to liam and he usually ends up sleeping horizontal or digging his little toes into me- i dont know. i just sleep bad and it sucks. - so the fact that i haven't lost my mind could change. but i've applied like CCCRAAAZZZYYY to jobs here, and haven't gonne ONE call. i am not even exagerating - i apply for at least one job every day. it's f-ing brutal. i've applied for jobs at home too (no call backs though...big suprise there). it is so frustrating. it is so frustrating sitting on almost 25,000$ of debt, and i can't do ANYTHING with the "education" that i've earned. people say, oh, it will come in time. everyone who has said that to me or who is going to say that to me, can shove it up their ass. when YOU are sitting on that amount of debt, we'll see how you feel. i have to start paying that back soon, and i am currently jobless. how the fuck am i supposed to pay it back? hmm??? or there are the ones who say it has to do with the economy...right? NO. because there are always sick people. ALWAYS. and there has been absolutely no slow down in the amount of job postings there have been for my kind of career and i haven't gotten one call back. and i've applied to every oneeeeeeeee. . F. M. L.
so i am moving home, i think maybe i'll be happier there? i have no idea. i thought london would bring me happiness, but i spend 95% of my time alone and there were two weeks there where i cried every single day because i am so frustrated and disappointed and just lost. but going home, i hung out with some old friends- well, not really old, just ones that i haven't been able to see for the past 6 months because of school and everything- like nikki & cassie, best friends, that i've just reconnected with and who have made me happy and feel not so alone and lost. sarah is here in london but she makes no time for anyone but rob and school. SAME GOD DAMN OLD THING ... my friendship with her is getting so old. things will never change. she says she'll be "sad" if i leave ... but why? she doesn't make the time for me anyways. i guess if i move home it's just another easy excuse she can use as to why she makes me effort to be my friend or to be a part of my life.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not, i really enjoy spending time with my family. i spend a lot of time with my sister and it's awesum : )
soooooooo my sister and shawn are coming to get me on sunday. i am leaving my furniture and stuff here (i have to be out aug 1st anyways) and i'll be home for who knows how long. i applied for a job at a retirement home as a part-time receptionist so lets all cross our fingers in hopes that i get it!!
i wanted to be home the past three days; the weather has been so hot and gorgeous and all i've really wanted to do is lay out on my back patio and fry like a lobster :) lol. i've spent some time outside but living in an apartment means there is no where to tan. and yeah, i could go for a walk but being in 34C weather is exhausting after a bit. today rich and i went downtown and we came back up to our place on the bus, which wasn't air conditioned. omg, we were roasting on it. halfway home i realized that the bottom of my legs were sweating perfusely. ew. our stop comes and we get off and there is actually moisture ... and a lot of it, on the seat, left from my legs. EW. HOW EMBARASSING. i mean, if you got on the bus and saw that, would you be grossed out? or, if you watched someone get off the bus and then saw that after they got off? i guess i wouldn't think any less of them, considering how freaking hot it was. lol.