right now

[dollsong]

i know this is not going to last because the truth is I feel alive right now, I am on the cusp of something big and it is exhilarating. But...I feel disassembled. I miss everyone and everything that used to make me up. Elizabeth a ton, Charlotte in whole, maybe because I haven't been there in a while it seems like a different place every time I go. I miss Hanah and jesse and the rest of my family, and my extended family, lydia, alex, jeff, jennifer, derek, adam, hannah, landon, charlotte, theresa, kendra, reuben, spencer, jeremy, nofo. I need it all and at the same time i need all that I have here too. Its weird this time of your life when everything is in suspension. You feel like these people were your forever friends, and in a way they always will be, but then you realize you were all just there in the same place at the same time and now everything is different and you have new forever friends. I feel like I have lived many lives and they are overlapping right now somehow. School is incredible this semester too. Everything I could expect it to be. Still can't wait till its done though. 83 days and counting.
Can't wait till spanksgiving when I can love all my people i love.