(no subject)
life isn't so good for giving one hope eh? it seems to be a bad time for everyone. it's sad. i like to be happy and hear that the ones i care for are happy and content, and they aren't either.
lately it seems like my existence is harshing everyone i come in contact. particularly the one i love and the one i live with. it sucks. people shouldn't have to feel like they don't belong. everything is so pathetic. living is futile.
gah.
i need it to be the right time. i need that time to be now. for more things than just one. one, my life seems to depend on. everything will be all wrong. and it's already bad enough. i just want things to be right. best 2 out of 3 so far, lets hope that everything is peachy fucking keen.
i've taken up jogging. but for how long. i went once before, and i went yesterday. and came home to dance. good old keeping up the heartrate. nothing like being bathed in your own sweat. jogging seems to get you thin fast. i just want my tummy to go away. just a little.
i think i'm pmsing. i feel like wicked GRRRR just under the surface. i know a few things that would help, i can't have either of course. isn't that just how it works? god i bitch a lot. but fuck it. bitchbitchbitch. i feel a little better sometimes. but sometimes i think the grumpfest is never going to end. like i'm gonna be a bitch forever. perma-pms. i almost wish i could afford kickboxing lessons, but i might hurt someone. hehe. maybe i want to play football. haha no.
grr. that's all i have to say right now.
it feels like my skin is crawling. something under my skin is crawling. god fucking fuck fuckfuck.
fucking anxiety. grrrrrrrr.
god i can't take this.
something seriously needs to stop.
lately it seems like my existence is harshing everyone i come in contact. particularly the one i love and the one i live with. it sucks. people shouldn't have to feel like they don't belong. everything is so pathetic. living is futile.
gah.
i need it to be the right time. i need that time to be now. for more things than just one. one, my life seems to depend on. everything will be all wrong. and it's already bad enough. i just want things to be right. best 2 out of 3 so far, lets hope that everything is peachy fucking keen.
i've taken up jogging. but for how long. i went once before, and i went yesterday. and came home to dance. good old keeping up the heartrate. nothing like being bathed in your own sweat. jogging seems to get you thin fast. i just want my tummy to go away. just a little.
i think i'm pmsing. i feel like wicked GRRRR just under the surface. i know a few things that would help, i can't have either of course. isn't that just how it works? god i bitch a lot. but fuck it. bitchbitchbitch. i feel a little better sometimes. but sometimes i think the grumpfest is never going to end. like i'm gonna be a bitch forever. perma-pms. i almost wish i could afford kickboxing lessons, but i might hurt someone. hehe. maybe i want to play football. haha no.
grr. that's all i have to say right now.
it feels like my skin is crawling. something under my skin is crawling. god fucking fuck fuckfuck.
fucking anxiety. grrrrrrrr.
god i can't take this.
something seriously needs to stop.