(no subject)
i dont even kno where to start. this weekend was fun. i wsear i love everyone that was there and the games and the people adn the food and the nakedness. Everything was great, everything but me. I wanan say things straight out how they are and how i feel. but i cant. too many fights. and that would be too much bullshit. i am tired from school friends cheer coaching friends cleaning family everything. im washed out adn i need a vacation or i swear to god i will go insane. i dont want to bring a phone or homework or anything from home, i just need to get away from here. i love everyone and everything a lot. i just cant take life right now. i cant take the presure are puttin on me and i cant take messing up around them. I wanna go stay at tiffys.i havent done that since liek 5th grade. i miss them. i miss dawn adn tiff and aaron and shane. i need them to talk to and see and be with . i miss my time with them.
i miss him. he was my best friend. and had some of the best times with him ever. we are friends now. but i dotn wnan be. i dont wanan go back to the past because there was too much crying. i cant take anymore crying. i miss his smile his laugh how funny he was. i miss how he made me feel. i want that back. i miss being happy.
i miss seeing kelsea everyday. i cant be without her. im like dying. i swear. its not teh same when she isnt there.
i want to go to homecoming but not in a dress. trying to find a dress makes me mad. i can never find a good one. i havent even been asked. jeff doesnt wanna go. i dont wanna make him. im not even sure i want to go.
i dont want new friends if im nto even sure who the real ones are. i kno people are gonna post. sayin they love me. w/e. im sure they havent called in liek 2 weeks. and im sure they dont kno how i feel. and i kno they dont kno whats goign on with me.
my head is goign to explode. i cant stop thinkin about all this stuff. i wanna write it. i wanan explain. im crying because im frustrated. because i dont kno what can make everything all right again.
jeff is good to me. he can make me smile and hes always there. i just dont get some of the things he says.
i dont liek school. i feel liek my life is being wasted there. i cant see the people i wanan see the most because its holding me back. i hate it. i cant see the peopel i love without coming back to school with consequenses.
i hate who youve become. you are different and the same old you all at the same time. i hate how its changed and how it wont ever be the same because i lost faith in you.
i hate how people go away and when they come back, expect it to be ok. ive had too many people walk out on me. your no different and theres no special treatment.
i wanna matter when im older. i wanna have beautiful kids and be able to buy what i want with a husband who is okay with my flaws and who loves seeing me at the end of the day.
what i want is a fairy tale.
i miss him. he was my best friend. and had some of the best times with him ever. we are friends now. but i dotn wnan be. i dont wanan go back to the past because there was too much crying. i cant take anymore crying. i miss his smile his laugh how funny he was. i miss how he made me feel. i want that back. i miss being happy.
i miss seeing kelsea everyday. i cant be without her. im like dying. i swear. its not teh same when she isnt there.
i want to go to homecoming but not in a dress. trying to find a dress makes me mad. i can never find a good one. i havent even been asked. jeff doesnt wanna go. i dont wanna make him. im not even sure i want to go.
i dont want new friends if im nto even sure who the real ones are. i kno people are gonna post. sayin they love me. w/e. im sure they havent called in liek 2 weeks. and im sure they dont kno how i feel. and i kno they dont kno whats goign on with me.
my head is goign to explode. i cant stop thinkin about all this stuff. i wanna write it. i wanan explain. im crying because im frustrated. because i dont kno what can make everything all right again.
jeff is good to me. he can make me smile and hes always there. i just dont get some of the things he says.
i dont liek school. i feel liek my life is being wasted there. i cant see the people i wanan see the most because its holding me back. i hate it. i cant see the peopel i love without coming back to school with consequenses.
i hate who youve become. you are different and the same old you all at the same time. i hate how its changed and how it wont ever be the same because i lost faith in you.
i hate how people go away and when they come back, expect it to be ok. ive had too many people walk out on me. your no different and theres no special treatment.
i wanna matter when im older. i wanna have beautiful kids and be able to buy what i want with a husband who is okay with my flaws and who loves seeing me at the end of the day.
what i want is a fairy tale.