Everyone she knows is happy.

[dolliedestroyed]

Her heartbeat used to lull me to sleep. Now I try to make sure I can even hear my own.

I cannot picture myself loving anyone, including myself, ever again. I'll go through the motions. I'll play pretend. I'll smile when too many people are watching. But I'll never feel safe again. I'll never feel like I deserve to feel safe. I'll never be able to talk to her without feeling like what I am.

I don't see myself as psychotic, I just see myself with a heart that's been broken one too many times.

I'm not sure why I ask for advice, because I won't take it.

I just keep picturing her in bed with someone else. Holding someone elses hand. Kissing someone elses lips.

I had never felt as strongly for someone as I did for her. So I can't expect myself to just be okay.

I feel tossed aside, and I was.

I really don't care what people are saying about me. Especially not people I couldn't care less about.

I can't change anything. Especially not someone elses heart. But I can't change my own either.

I don't care if it's dumb to be public about my emotions, I'm tired of hiding everything to protect myself. I'm already hurt and nothing anyone says can hurt me anymore than I already am.