it's been so long
I don't know what to do with myself at points in time....when I have to step up to the plate so to speak
I convinced mimi luv to come babysit the kids with me. she has social anxiety that far surpasses my own and I find it comical. but she went. she met my ultra fab-a-lus boyz and she talked though just a little. usually I get annoyed with behavior such as that...but for some reason in her it just fits.
so then I could tell she had her fill of the little bastards so I excused us and we drove around to look for food. she didn't look well, but she wouldn't tell me why. also something I can't stand...but I let her.
we get home to order chinese. i can see her shaking. her hands were shaking the menu. I looked at her kind of funny.
I haven't eaten all day because I was nervous about going out tonight. nervous to meet your friends, nervous to watch children, nervous about what you would think of me being nervous
End Scene
So we're laying in the bed all snuggled up watching Saw 2, which was my gift to her because I am the best gift giver ever. She kisses my neck and rubs my shoulders...being the chau·vin·ist pig I am I thought it was the go signal She wasn't ready. it was too soon. I felt like such an ass.
for whatever reason it made me cry.
but lightly.
whispered
"I don't want to ruin this. i can't ruin this. my heart couldn't take anymore."
I couldn't stop apologizying.
she just kissed deeper.
it's been so long. i don't remember how this works.
then she played my song
Let’s take a picture now
I do not want to forget
The way you look at me when everything is perfect
A perfect memory of when things are so good
And everything has worked out just the way we knew it would
I bought a picture frame
I made room on the wall
I hold you close to my chest
Because I’ve made room in my heart
You ask me what I’m doing
I say displaying our love
I can see you when I’m awake and you’re the one I’m dreaming of
I love the sun when it shines
I love the sky when it’s blue
I love the color green
Because it reminds me of you
I’ve been thinking about you all night
A warm bed and a cozy fire
You put you arms around me and lift my head
And then you kiss me…
I convinced mimi luv to come babysit the kids with me. she has social anxiety that far surpasses my own and I find it comical. but she went. she met my ultra fab-a-lus boyz and she talked though just a little. usually I get annoyed with behavior such as that...but for some reason in her it just fits.
so then I could tell she had her fill of the little bastards so I excused us and we drove around to look for food. she didn't look well, but she wouldn't tell me why. also something I can't stand...but I let her.
we get home to order chinese. i can see her shaking. her hands were shaking the menu. I looked at her kind of funny.
I haven't eaten all day because I was nervous about going out tonight. nervous to meet your friends, nervous to watch children, nervous about what you would think of me being nervous
End Scene
So we're laying in the bed all snuggled up watching Saw 2, which was my gift to her because I am the best gift giver ever. She kisses my neck and rubs my shoulders...being the chau·vin·ist pig I am I thought it was the go signal She wasn't ready. it was too soon. I felt like such an ass.
for whatever reason it made me cry.
but lightly.
whispered
"I don't want to ruin this. i can't ruin this. my heart couldn't take anymore."
I couldn't stop apologizying.
she just kissed deeper.
it's been so long. i don't remember how this works.
then she played my song
Let’s take a picture now
I do not want to forget
The way you look at me when everything is perfect
A perfect memory of when things are so good
And everything has worked out just the way we knew it would
I bought a picture frame
I made room on the wall
I hold you close to my chest
Because I’ve made room in my heart
You ask me what I’m doing
I say displaying our love
I can see you when I’m awake and you’re the one I’m dreaming of
I love the sun when it shines
I love the sky when it’s blue
I love the color green
Because it reminds me of you
I’ve been thinking about you all night
A warm bed and a cozy fire
You put you arms around me and lift my head
And then you kiss me…