(no subject)
Okay.
Sometimes I overthink. I need to stop doing this. But then sometimes I do not think enough, and I end up fucking something up, and it could have been avoided. Hm..?
Nicoles/Nikki's parties were smashing. Loved them. My party just ended, it was good. I had/everyone I've talked to had great times, but sometimes things just stick with me and ruin fun times. I'm over it. It's the 1 hr or some amount of "time" rule I guess..time enough to reflect.
All weekend/beginning of week I Got to hang with my boys/girls that I love so much. They all are excellent, though some annoy the shit out of me. My mom's answer to all of this is that I will not have to attend school with them, and I can choose to see/invite them whenever I do/do not want to see them. I guess the immaturity thing kills me. I know there are so many things to comment on/bring up to make things awkward, but it is necessary to always do it?
Example, on the cruise. Nough said. I got a number of this guy, Greg. He seemed nice. He invited me and my friends to hang at a bar next friday in Newburgh. At first this seemed like an excellent plan, and it would be fun and we'd meet guys and whooo! BUT now after thinking (again, do you think or overthing or not think at all??) I do not see it as being a wise decision to drive so fucking long to see some random people we don't really know. I guess the number from the caterer on a boat makes for a great/funny story, but not something that I want to see played out. There will be plenty of time for bars/parties/boys in Boston..where I am with people I know/area I know..and where I don't have to drive so far!
Do you go for it and possibly make a fool of yourself? So confused about life sometimes. Is my confusion based in my analysis and want for organization and patterns? Or is it my low confidence, or my insecurity of my identity? Things aren't predictable, or fair, so why should I expect them to be. Going to resolve this somehow in my head, my heart, my actions.
I am growing so much, this summer, this last year. It's great. Change is hard, but good.
Sometimes I overthink. I need to stop doing this. But then sometimes I do not think enough, and I end up fucking something up, and it could have been avoided. Hm..?
Nicoles/Nikki's parties were smashing. Loved them. My party just ended, it was good. I had/everyone I've talked to had great times, but sometimes things just stick with me and ruin fun times. I'm over it. It's the 1 hr or some amount of "time" rule I guess..time enough to reflect.
All weekend/beginning of week I Got to hang with my boys/girls that I love so much. They all are excellent, though some annoy the shit out of me. My mom's answer to all of this is that I will not have to attend school with them, and I can choose to see/invite them whenever I do/do not want to see them. I guess the immaturity thing kills me. I know there are so many things to comment on/bring up to make things awkward, but it is necessary to always do it?
Example, on the cruise. Nough said. I got a number of this guy, Greg. He seemed nice. He invited me and my friends to hang at a bar next friday in Newburgh. At first this seemed like an excellent plan, and it would be fun and we'd meet guys and whooo! BUT now after thinking (again, do you think or overthing or not think at all??) I do not see it as being a wise decision to drive so fucking long to see some random people we don't really know. I guess the number from the caterer on a boat makes for a great/funny story, but not something that I want to see played out. There will be plenty of time for bars/parties/boys in Boston..where I am with people I know/area I know..and where I don't have to drive so far!
Do you go for it and possibly make a fool of yourself? So confused about life sometimes. Is my confusion based in my analysis and want for organization and patterns? Or is it my low confidence, or my insecurity of my identity? Things aren't predictable, or fair, so why should I expect them to be. Going to resolve this somehow in my head, my heart, my actions.
I am growing so much, this summer, this last year. It's great. Change is hard, but good.