SHINee Fic: OnTae
lie to me (before you let me go)
taemin/jinki, romance
You climb ladders, wooden, rickety step-ladders, while he climbs clouds and flies whatever distance is left between him and the sky.
There’s something in the way Jinki laughs.
Taemin tilts his head a little further to the left, frowning, and watches Kibum and Jonghyun quarrel over who gets which outfit for the next performance. Jinki hovers off to the left, awkward and anxious as he attempts (futilely) to interrupt their argument.
“Hey, guys,” he says. Kibum’s voice barrels over Jinki’s loud and determined. Jinki tries again. “Guys, come on. I’m sure the stylists will be picking them for us anyway.” He fiddles with his fingers, staring at the ground while glancing occasionally up at the now silent pair with kicked-puppy-like eyes.
It’s deathly quiet. Taemin is just about to get up and leave, avoid the seemingly inevitable fight ahead, but then Jinki laughs. It’s shaky, nervous, but as always it lightens up the atmosphere. Kibum frowns but begins to back down, shoulders sagging with released tension. Jonghyun shrugs, swipes his thumb under his nose as he sniffs calmly.
“Yeah,” he says. “You’re probably right.” Then he smiles, tight-lipped, at Kibum and Jinki is now full out chortling, breathy hiccups breaking in once in a while. Jonghyun and Kibum chuckle along after a few minutes, probably not even understanding why they're laughing, but it feels good anyway.
Taemin feels as if he’s just witnessed the prevention of a train collision. It’s funny, but Jinki’s laugh, the toothy grin, the happy-go-lucky attitude he holds, it pisses Taemin off. He doesn’t get it.
Jinki turns to look at Taemin from the kitchen doorway. His smile brightens up just that much more, tiny and insignificantly so, but noticible nonetheless. He flashes a thumbs up, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Taemin’s stomach flutters, heart jumping.
He doesn’t get that part either.
(Taemin smiles back awkwardly and turns heel to escape into the bedroom.
Jinki’s smile falls. He looks at his thumb, sticks his hands in his pockets, and kicks the floor.
“Idiot,” he mumbles under his breath. “I’m such an idiot.”)
They’re driving home from practice, tired and sweaty. It’s quiet in the way that suggests comfort rather than awkwardness and Jinki is already asleep in the front seat, head rolling slightly off of the headrest. Kibum nudges Minho and points at one of the buildings, proceeding to recount a funny story with whispered words, and Jonghyun plugs himself into his iPod, his way of unwinding. Taemin blinks and presses his forehead to the car window. He drifts into unconciousness like that, bent at strange angles and limbs already achy from practice protesting with all of their might, but he’s too sleepy to find any other position. He’s jolted awake every time they hit a bump in the road or pull up to a stop sign and his head knocks against the glass, so he eventually decides to turn over and lean into Jonghyun. He finally falls into a steady sleep with his face buried into Jonghyun’s shoulder, soft music spilling through the headphones.
Vaguely he can hear voices, far-away and disembodied. He doesn’t wake up when he feels himself being lifted, just goes on dreaming about snowflakes and graduation caps and that new cellphone he wants so badly.
“Careful,” he hears someone say, so he groans, trying to get the message of ‘shut up, I’m sleeping’ across without actually having to be coherent. The arms that are hooked underneath his knees and neck draw him closer and he can feel a sudden rush of warmth wash through him from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his toes. He can smell Jinki’s cologne, soft and light, and is embarrassed at the muffled sigh that escapes him involuntarily.
Jinki laughs into his hair and he opens his eyes, blinking against the cotton of Jinki’s sweatshirt.
“Hello, sunshine,” he greets, smile easy and overly-sweet. Taemin scowls but allows himself to be escorted inside anyway.
They collapse onto the sofa, Jinki being unable to haul the youngest member any farther, and Taemin has to turn away as Jinki’s breath washes across his face, hands balanced precariously on either side of him.
“Sorry,” Jinki shrugs with a softer grin and pushes himself off. Taemin lays there for a few more delayed seconds, waiting for Jinki to leave, but he doesn’t, so he just turns into the couch cushions and decides then and there that he’s too tired to walk to bed; he can sleep on the couch.
“Need me to carry you to bed too?” Jinki asks jokingly. Jonghyun pads across the living room behind them, yawning as he slips into his sleep shirt, and grabs a glass of water before heading off to bed. “Because I will,” he adds.
Taemin rolls off sideways and flops onto the ground, glaring up at Jinki. “I’m not a baby.” He trudges into their shared room and dives into his bed, limbs sprawled across the mattress. Jinki is the last one in and turns off the lights, curling in under his sheets, but Taemin remains unable to so much as close his eyes, suddenly all to preoccupied with the way Jinki’s eyelashes flutter when he’s sleeping.
Taemin’s in the bathroom, practicing his lines, re-running them in his head before trying them out loud. They sound plain and he slams his script against the sink, leaning forward to make faces at himself in the mirror.
“This isn’t working,” he mumbles in defeat.
“Something wrong?” Kibum asks from the doorway. Taemin jumps in surprise, laughing to cover it, and shakes his head vehemantly.
“You sure?” Kibum tries again, reaching over Taemin’s shoulder to grab the lotion from the medicine cabinet. Taemin stays silent this time and waits for Kibum to figure it out. He doesn’t like asking for help, but he’ll take what’s given to him. That’s just how he works.
Kibum understands that.
“Is this about Jinki?” he asks and Taemin furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“What? No. Why would you think that?” he denies. “I mean. No.”
“Oh,” says Kibum. “Okay.” They stare at each other for the space of a few seconds, a few bated breaths, before Kibum shrugs and decides to clarify. “Jinki mentioned something about you being angry at him.” Taemin frowns.
“I'm not angry. Did he say why he thought I was angry?” He tries to look nonchalant - which should be easy because, what? Why should he even care? - but Kibum simply continues to stare at him incredulously as if he can’t quite believe what he's hearing.
“I give up,” he says, throwing his hands into the air. “This is stupid. You,” he pushes his finger into Taemin’s chest, “need to talk to Jinki. Because this has nothing to do with me and I don’t know why I even bother getting involved in the first place.”
And then Kibum leaves and Taemin has to stand there and translate whatever Kibum said into something comprehensible.
This is all just a stupid, childish mess. How is he supposed to find a solution when there’s not even a problem to begin with?
They're sitting watching a movie at night, Jonghyun laying spreadeagled on the carpet and Kibum taking up almost half of the couch where he's leaning against Minho's side. Jinki and Taemin sit at the end, pushed into a closer proximity due to Kibum's refusal to move, and the way that their thighs are touching, the way Jinki can't seem to stay still which sends shock waves up Taemin's spine every time he moves, makes the situation all the more awkward.
Kibum snuffles into the back of the couch, waking up Jonghyun on the floor, and the two then agree that it's time for them to go to bed. Minho continues to read, ignoring both the movie and the other two boys who, in unison, volunteer to get some drinks from the kitchen.
"I can get it," Taemin pushes carefully, taking backward steps toward the doorway.
"Then let me help," Jinki smiles obliviously, sidling up to Taemin's side, and continues in through the door without a backwards glance.
Taemin follows, hesitating a bit, and proceeds to help Jinki get a few glasses down off the shelf.
"You're the same height as me," Jinki comments, voice tinged with ill-hidden awe.
"I have been for a while, hyung," Taemin laughs. He sets the glasses down with a soft clinking sound and Onew begins to pour the water.
"Stop growing," he says childishly, pouting a bit. "Or else I really won't feel like the leader anymore."
Taemin nudges him with his shoulder, lips tilting into a half-smile and replies, "You're a good leader, Jinki." Jinki smiles with sudden embarrassment and in a matter of seconds, the glasses in his hand are falling to the ground, shattering against the kitchen tiles.
"Oh," he says.
They both squat down and try to gather the pieces before either Minho or their manager comes in to ask what's going on and Taemin cuts himself on a shard, sucking on it to stop the bleeding. Jinki watches him, slowly grabbing a washcloth from the drawer next to him, and reaches out to pull at Taemin's wrist, dabbing the cut with the towel. His fingers are warm and steady against Taemin's skin.
"You're such a klutz," he says. Only his breath is still somewhat hitched and he feels hot and dizzy and oh, okay, this must be a little bit what love feels like. Never felt that before.
Jinki grins softly and continues to keep a hold on Taemin, a sort of mutual understanding passing in between them.
"I know," he says. "I'm sorry." It's silent then, the only sound being Jinki's breathing, and Taemin falls into a sort of haze, eyelids drooping.
And then the manager is standing above them, arms crossed as Jinki apologizes repeatedly, shamefully, and they're sent out of the room as he begins to clean up after them.
"Next time," begins Taemin, "how about I carry the drinks." And then Jinki starts to laugh, all awkward and open and so damn Jinki-like and Taemin's heart aches because he gets it now, he understands it. He's not jealous, he's not angry. He loves Jinki's smile, much like he loves everything else about him. He only wishes it were his and his alone.
"Okay," says Jinki. And Taemin smiles through the realization of the fact that he's losing a part of his heart with this boy, smiles because he can't do anything else.
He thinks he learned that from Jinki.
"Goodnight, hyung," he whispers.
So you dream your life away on the clouds in the sky as he holds your hand and takes you higher and higher.
For Jill. ♥
Drabble requests are now up.
taemin/jinki, romance
You climb ladders, wooden, rickety step-ladders, while he climbs clouds and flies whatever distance is left between him and the sky.
There’s something in the way Jinki laughs.
Taemin tilts his head a little further to the left, frowning, and watches Kibum and Jonghyun quarrel over who gets which outfit for the next performance. Jinki hovers off to the left, awkward and anxious as he attempts (futilely) to interrupt their argument.
“Hey, guys,” he says. Kibum’s voice barrels over Jinki’s loud and determined. Jinki tries again. “Guys, come on. I’m sure the stylists will be picking them for us anyway.” He fiddles with his fingers, staring at the ground while glancing occasionally up at the now silent pair with kicked-puppy-like eyes.
It’s deathly quiet. Taemin is just about to get up and leave, avoid the seemingly inevitable fight ahead, but then Jinki laughs. It’s shaky, nervous, but as always it lightens up the atmosphere. Kibum frowns but begins to back down, shoulders sagging with released tension. Jonghyun shrugs, swipes his thumb under his nose as he sniffs calmly.
“Yeah,” he says. “You’re probably right.” Then he smiles, tight-lipped, at Kibum and Jinki is now full out chortling, breathy hiccups breaking in once in a while. Jonghyun and Kibum chuckle along after a few minutes, probably not even understanding why they're laughing, but it feels good anyway.
Taemin feels as if he’s just witnessed the prevention of a train collision. It’s funny, but Jinki’s laugh, the toothy grin, the happy-go-lucky attitude he holds, it pisses Taemin off. He doesn’t get it.
Jinki turns to look at Taemin from the kitchen doorway. His smile brightens up just that much more, tiny and insignificantly so, but noticible nonetheless. He flashes a thumbs up, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Taemin’s stomach flutters, heart jumping.
He doesn’t get that part either.
(Taemin smiles back awkwardly and turns heel to escape into the bedroom.
Jinki’s smile falls. He looks at his thumb, sticks his hands in his pockets, and kicks the floor.
“Idiot,” he mumbles under his breath. “I’m such an idiot.”)
They’re driving home from practice, tired and sweaty. It’s quiet in the way that suggests comfort rather than awkwardness and Jinki is already asleep in the front seat, head rolling slightly off of the headrest. Kibum nudges Minho and points at one of the buildings, proceeding to recount a funny story with whispered words, and Jonghyun plugs himself into his iPod, his way of unwinding. Taemin blinks and presses his forehead to the car window. He drifts into unconciousness like that, bent at strange angles and limbs already achy from practice protesting with all of their might, but he’s too sleepy to find any other position. He’s jolted awake every time they hit a bump in the road or pull up to a stop sign and his head knocks against the glass, so he eventually decides to turn over and lean into Jonghyun. He finally falls into a steady sleep with his face buried into Jonghyun’s shoulder, soft music spilling through the headphones.
Vaguely he can hear voices, far-away and disembodied. He doesn’t wake up when he feels himself being lifted, just goes on dreaming about snowflakes and graduation caps and that new cellphone he wants so badly.
“Careful,” he hears someone say, so he groans, trying to get the message of ‘shut up, I’m sleeping’ across without actually having to be coherent. The arms that are hooked underneath his knees and neck draw him closer and he can feel a sudden rush of warmth wash through him from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his toes. He can smell Jinki’s cologne, soft and light, and is embarrassed at the muffled sigh that escapes him involuntarily.
Jinki laughs into his hair and he opens his eyes, blinking against the cotton of Jinki’s sweatshirt.
“Hello, sunshine,” he greets, smile easy and overly-sweet. Taemin scowls but allows himself to be escorted inside anyway.
They collapse onto the sofa, Jinki being unable to haul the youngest member any farther, and Taemin has to turn away as Jinki’s breath washes across his face, hands balanced precariously on either side of him.
“Sorry,” Jinki shrugs with a softer grin and pushes himself off. Taemin lays there for a few more delayed seconds, waiting for Jinki to leave, but he doesn’t, so he just turns into the couch cushions and decides then and there that he’s too tired to walk to bed; he can sleep on the couch.
“Need me to carry you to bed too?” Jinki asks jokingly. Jonghyun pads across the living room behind them, yawning as he slips into his sleep shirt, and grabs a glass of water before heading off to bed. “Because I will,” he adds.
Taemin rolls off sideways and flops onto the ground, glaring up at Jinki. “I’m not a baby.” He trudges into their shared room and dives into his bed, limbs sprawled across the mattress. Jinki is the last one in and turns off the lights, curling in under his sheets, but Taemin remains unable to so much as close his eyes, suddenly all to preoccupied with the way Jinki’s eyelashes flutter when he’s sleeping.
Taemin’s in the bathroom, practicing his lines, re-running them in his head before trying them out loud. They sound plain and he slams his script against the sink, leaning forward to make faces at himself in the mirror.
“This isn’t working,” he mumbles in defeat.
“Something wrong?” Kibum asks from the doorway. Taemin jumps in surprise, laughing to cover it, and shakes his head vehemantly.
“You sure?” Kibum tries again, reaching over Taemin’s shoulder to grab the lotion from the medicine cabinet. Taemin stays silent this time and waits for Kibum to figure it out. He doesn’t like asking for help, but he’ll take what’s given to him. That’s just how he works.
Kibum understands that.
“Is this about Jinki?” he asks and Taemin furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“What? No. Why would you think that?” he denies. “I mean. No.”
“Oh,” says Kibum. “Okay.” They stare at each other for the space of a few seconds, a few bated breaths, before Kibum shrugs and decides to clarify. “Jinki mentioned something about you being angry at him.” Taemin frowns.
“I'm not angry. Did he say why he thought I was angry?” He tries to look nonchalant - which should be easy because, what? Why should he even care? - but Kibum simply continues to stare at him incredulously as if he can’t quite believe what he's hearing.
“I give up,” he says, throwing his hands into the air. “This is stupid. You,” he pushes his finger into Taemin’s chest, “need to talk to Jinki. Because this has nothing to do with me and I don’t know why I even bother getting involved in the first place.”
And then Kibum leaves and Taemin has to stand there and translate whatever Kibum said into something comprehensible.
This is all just a stupid, childish mess. How is he supposed to find a solution when there’s not even a problem to begin with?
They're sitting watching a movie at night, Jonghyun laying spreadeagled on the carpet and Kibum taking up almost half of the couch where he's leaning against Minho's side. Jinki and Taemin sit at the end, pushed into a closer proximity due to Kibum's refusal to move, and the way that their thighs are touching, the way Jinki can't seem to stay still which sends shock waves up Taemin's spine every time he moves, makes the situation all the more awkward.
Kibum snuffles into the back of the couch, waking up Jonghyun on the floor, and the two then agree that it's time for them to go to bed. Minho continues to read, ignoring both the movie and the other two boys who, in unison, volunteer to get some drinks from the kitchen.
"I can get it," Taemin pushes carefully, taking backward steps toward the doorway.
"Then let me help," Jinki smiles obliviously, sidling up to Taemin's side, and continues in through the door without a backwards glance.
Taemin follows, hesitating a bit, and proceeds to help Jinki get a few glasses down off the shelf.
"You're the same height as me," Jinki comments, voice tinged with ill-hidden awe.
"I have been for a while, hyung," Taemin laughs. He sets the glasses down with a soft clinking sound and Onew begins to pour the water.
"Stop growing," he says childishly, pouting a bit. "Or else I really won't feel like the leader anymore."
Taemin nudges him with his shoulder, lips tilting into a half-smile and replies, "You're a good leader, Jinki." Jinki smiles with sudden embarrassment and in a matter of seconds, the glasses in his hand are falling to the ground, shattering against the kitchen tiles.
"Oh," he says.
They both squat down and try to gather the pieces before either Minho or their manager comes in to ask what's going on and Taemin cuts himself on a shard, sucking on it to stop the bleeding. Jinki watches him, slowly grabbing a washcloth from the drawer next to him, and reaches out to pull at Taemin's wrist, dabbing the cut with the towel. His fingers are warm and steady against Taemin's skin.
"You're such a klutz," he says. Only his breath is still somewhat hitched and he feels hot and dizzy and oh, okay, this must be a little bit what love feels like. Never felt that before.
Jinki grins softly and continues to keep a hold on Taemin, a sort of mutual understanding passing in between them.
"I know," he says. "I'm sorry." It's silent then, the only sound being Jinki's breathing, and Taemin falls into a sort of haze, eyelids drooping.
And then the manager is standing above them, arms crossed as Jinki apologizes repeatedly, shamefully, and they're sent out of the room as he begins to clean up after them.
"Next time," begins Taemin, "how about I carry the drinks." And then Jinki starts to laugh, all awkward and open and so damn Jinki-like and Taemin's heart aches because he gets it now, he understands it. He's not jealous, he's not angry. He loves Jinki's smile, much like he loves everything else about him. He only wishes it were his and his alone.
"Okay," says Jinki. And Taemin smiles through the realization of the fact that he's losing a part of his heart with this boy, smiles because he can't do anything else.
He thinks he learned that from Jinki.
"Goodnight, hyung," he whispers.
So you dream your life away on the clouds in the sky as he holds your hand and takes you higher and higher.
For Jill. ♥
Drabble requests are now up.