A Mouth Full of Ashes by pos_sess_ed [Leather Anniversary Challenge]
Title: A Mouth Full of Ashes
Author: pos_sess_ed
Prompt: Leather
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Warning: Nothing here to stick in your craw.
Word Count: 1364
Summary: Sesshoumaru may have bitten off more than he can chew.
URL:
“…a large, glowing object moving quickly across the sky last night. One person claims to have witnessed a little green alien in the vicinity, but that report remains unsubstantiated. The pregnant Mishima Wagyu discovered missing this morning has an estimated value…”
Why are aliens always blamed for missing or dead cows? Pressing the snooze alarm, Kagome flopped back onto the mattress, wanting to make the most of the reprieve she had just given herself.
She subconsciously noted the absence of Sesshoumaru from their bed. Nothing unusual there, he rarely lolled about on a week day.
I wish I had a little of that kind of energy in the morning, she thought. Of course, I probably would if he wasn’t so good at keeping me awake! She smiled dreamily at the remembrance of his attentions last night.
“…traffic and weather every fifteen minutes…”
She switched the alarm off and climbed out of bed. A warm shower and a hot cup of tea was just the magic she needed to get her lazy bones and muzzy brain moving. I still have a little time to find the right gift; all I need is a bright idea..
*****
“You have dispatched all the packages to the proper parties and payment was received?”
“Yes my Lord. All have been delivered--except your cut--of course. The gift you commissioned for your lady is currently being crafted by the most skilled youkai as we speak. I admire the manner in which you have brilliantly killed two birds with one stone!”
The dog demon rolled his hand impatiently at his retainer. “Yes, yes, and what of the plans for her gift to me? It must appear to be her idea!”
Jaken nodded enthusiastically. “Yes my Lord! I have come up with a way to bring about the result you desire. I will not fail you!”
“See that you do not. I am anticipating the taste of this victory will be the sweetest yet.”
*****
Home from work much earlier than usual, Kagome casually flipped through the mail on her way back toward the bedroom. Once she changed her clothes, she planned to go out and do a little reconnaissance at the mall. If she was lucky, inspiration would strike and she’d come home with at least an inkling for the perfect gift.
Rounding a corner, she caught Jaken just standing in the middle of the hallway, staring up at one of the framed pictures on the wall. The imp started guiltily, suddenly realizing he'd been noticed. He scampered away before she could say a word.
Kagome wandered over to the picture the kappa had been entranced with only moments before.
What’s so interesting, I wonder?
The picture in question was a drawing of a magnificent white inuyoukai leaping into the sky, a huge black bull clamped in its jaws. Though she’d seen this portrait many times before, Kagome once again gazed in awe at the sheer size of Sesshoumaru’s father.
I bet it was hardly more than two big bites for him. I can’t even imagine the cost of all that beef at today’s prices…
The proverbial light bulb snapped on.
She was going to need assistance obtaining exactly what she wanted at such short notice, but fortunately for her, she knew the right person for this job.
“Jaken! Jaken!!”
The imp was hiding just around the next corner--waiting. He smiled to himself when he heard her excited summoning. Humans were so easily led.
*****
Taking the package from Jaken’s outstretched hands; Kagome carefully peeled back the butcher’s paper. Though she didn’t really care for red meat, she had to admit the marbling of this tenderloin was nothing short of beautiful.
“It’s perfect Jaken, absolutely perfect. How on earth did you find something this good so fast?”
“I have cultivated many skills and contacts over the years spent in the master’s service, my lady.”
“I suppose you have," she mused. "Thank-you so much, I’ll be sure to let him know you helped me with this!”
The kappa bowed dutifully. “You are most kind, Lady Kagome.”
“Let’s get it in the fridge. I can’t wait to see his face when I serve it for dinner tomorrow!”
*****
She awoke the next morning to a very pretty bow atop a very pretty pair of knee length boots.
“Happy Anniversary. I had these made especially for you. I hope they fit…”
Squealing in delight, she threw back the blankets. Grabbing a pair of socks, she pulled them on as fast as possible before seating herself demurely on the chaise lounge.
“I’m ready, Prince Charming.”
“Your wish is my command, Cinderella.”
Kagome giggled, “I think you mixed Aladdin into the story.” She lovingly caressed one boot while handing him the other.
Sesshoumaru merely shrugged as he slipped it over her dainty foot.
“I’ve never felt anything like it… they’re so soft! What are they made of?”
He took the second boot from her hands and placed it on her foot. “They are made from very rare leather called ‘slink’. Since this is our third anniversary, I thought it appropriate.” A wicked smile curved his lips.
Grabbing a fistful of silken hair on either side of his head, she dragged him back toward their bed. “You’ll get your present this evening, but in the meantime, I’ll show you some slink you’ll never forget…”
*****
Much later, while Sesshoumaru honed some of his other skills in the dojo, Kagome modeled her new boots in a full-length wardrobe mirror while chatting with her best friend on the phone.
“So what did you give each other?” asked Sango.
“I had Jaken find a prime cut of Wagyu--the tenderloin-for him, but I haven’t given it to him yet. I’m waiting to surprise him with it at dinner tonight.”
“Are you serious? That must have set you back quite a bit!”
“It was a little extravagant, but I’m not sorry. You should see the boots he had made for me! They’re soooo soft. He said they’re sewn from some rare leather called slink. You ever heard of it? Sesshoumaru says it comes from cows.”
“Slink? Hold on, while I type that into my search engine…”
Kagome sat down and pulled off her boots while Sango surfed the ‘net. “I suppose I could have done that… You find anything?”
“Yeah, and it explains why the leather is so soft. It is rather rare, since it comes from unborn calves. I wonder where he found enough to have a pair of boots commissioned.”
“Yeah, I wonder…”
The story she heard on the news the day before came rushing back and she nearly dropped the phone.
“Sango, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.”
Glowing object in the sky, little green man… it was the two of them, it had to be. He and Jaken had gone and raided that Mishima ranch.
This is just great. Our anniversary is being celebrated with stolen goods! I can’t let him get away with this!
Kagome headed for the kitchen.
*****
Sesshoumaru sat at the table, eagerly awaiting his mate. He could hear her bustling around in the kitchen and knew that any minute now, she would come through that doorway bearing the finest beef in the world.
Kagome backed into the room, her hands full. Then she turned and presented the platter to him, all smiles.
“Happy Anniversary Sesshoumaru! I had Jaken find a tenderloin of Wagyu, just so I could make you a special dinner! I think I might have over-cooked it a little though…”
Sesshoumaru could have cried. The meat on the plate was almost unrecognizable. It had been left in an oven that was far too hot, far too long. Shoe leather would be more palatable.
His face must have given away his thoughts as Kagome’s lower lip began to quiver, ever so slightly. “It’s ok, isn’t it?”
Sesshoumaru arranged his features and smiled at his mate. “It is... stunning.”
As Kagome served him a heaping plate, it was all she could do to keep her smile from turning into a smirk.
Chew on that, you sneaky, cattle-rustling dog. We’ll have a little talk tomorrow to discuss how you’ll make retribution to the rancher and me!
A/N: Mishima Wagyu are exclusive beef cattle. Raised in small numbers on the Japanese island of Mishima and never interbred with any foreign cattle, true Mishima beef is highly prized, much sought after and extremely hard to find.
Author: pos_sess_ed
Prompt: Leather
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Warning: Nothing here to stick in your craw.
Word Count: 1364
Summary: Sesshoumaru may have bitten off more than he can chew.
URL:
“…a large, glowing object moving quickly across the sky last night. One person claims to have witnessed a little green alien in the vicinity, but that report remains unsubstantiated. The pregnant Mishima Wagyu discovered missing this morning has an estimated value…”
Why are aliens always blamed for missing or dead cows? Pressing the snooze alarm, Kagome flopped back onto the mattress, wanting to make the most of the reprieve she had just given herself.
She subconsciously noted the absence of Sesshoumaru from their bed. Nothing unusual there, he rarely lolled about on a week day.
I wish I had a little of that kind of energy in the morning, she thought. Of course, I probably would if he wasn’t so good at keeping me awake! She smiled dreamily at the remembrance of his attentions last night.
“…traffic and weather every fifteen minutes…”
She switched the alarm off and climbed out of bed. A warm shower and a hot cup of tea was just the magic she needed to get her lazy bones and muzzy brain moving. I still have a little time to find the right gift; all I need is a bright idea..
*****
“You have dispatched all the packages to the proper parties and payment was received?”
“Yes my Lord. All have been delivered--except your cut--of course. The gift you commissioned for your lady is currently being crafted by the most skilled youkai as we speak. I admire the manner in which you have brilliantly killed two birds with one stone!”
The dog demon rolled his hand impatiently at his retainer. “Yes, yes, and what of the plans for her gift to me? It must appear to be her idea!”
Jaken nodded enthusiastically. “Yes my Lord! I have come up with a way to bring about the result you desire. I will not fail you!”
“See that you do not. I am anticipating the taste of this victory will be the sweetest yet.”
*****
Home from work much earlier than usual, Kagome casually flipped through the mail on her way back toward the bedroom. Once she changed her clothes, she planned to go out and do a little reconnaissance at the mall. If she was lucky, inspiration would strike and she’d come home with at least an inkling for the perfect gift.
Rounding a corner, she caught Jaken just standing in the middle of the hallway, staring up at one of the framed pictures on the wall. The imp started guiltily, suddenly realizing he'd been noticed. He scampered away before she could say a word.
Kagome wandered over to the picture the kappa had been entranced with only moments before.
What’s so interesting, I wonder?
The picture in question was a drawing of a magnificent white inuyoukai leaping into the sky, a huge black bull clamped in its jaws. Though she’d seen this portrait many times before, Kagome once again gazed in awe at the sheer size of Sesshoumaru’s father.
I bet it was hardly more than two big bites for him. I can’t even imagine the cost of all that beef at today’s prices…
The proverbial light bulb snapped on.
She was going to need assistance obtaining exactly what she wanted at such short notice, but fortunately for her, she knew the right person for this job.
“Jaken! Jaken!!”
The imp was hiding just around the next corner--waiting. He smiled to himself when he heard her excited summoning. Humans were so easily led.
*****
Taking the package from Jaken’s outstretched hands; Kagome carefully peeled back the butcher’s paper. Though she didn’t really care for red meat, she had to admit the marbling of this tenderloin was nothing short of beautiful.
“It’s perfect Jaken, absolutely perfect. How on earth did you find something this good so fast?”
“I have cultivated many skills and contacts over the years spent in the master’s service, my lady.”
“I suppose you have," she mused. "Thank-you so much, I’ll be sure to let him know you helped me with this!”
The kappa bowed dutifully. “You are most kind, Lady Kagome.”
“Let’s get it in the fridge. I can’t wait to see his face when I serve it for dinner tomorrow!”
*****
She awoke the next morning to a very pretty bow atop a very pretty pair of knee length boots.
“Happy Anniversary. I had these made especially for you. I hope they fit…”
Squealing in delight, she threw back the blankets. Grabbing a pair of socks, she pulled them on as fast as possible before seating herself demurely on the chaise lounge.
“I’m ready, Prince Charming.”
“Your wish is my command, Cinderella.”
Kagome giggled, “I think you mixed Aladdin into the story.” She lovingly caressed one boot while handing him the other.
Sesshoumaru merely shrugged as he slipped it over her dainty foot.
“I’ve never felt anything like it… they’re so soft! What are they made of?”
He took the second boot from her hands and placed it on her foot. “They are made from very rare leather called ‘slink’. Since this is our third anniversary, I thought it appropriate.” A wicked smile curved his lips.
Grabbing a fistful of silken hair on either side of his head, she dragged him back toward their bed. “You’ll get your present this evening, but in the meantime, I’ll show you some slink you’ll never forget…”
*****
Much later, while Sesshoumaru honed some of his other skills in the dojo, Kagome modeled her new boots in a full-length wardrobe mirror while chatting with her best friend on the phone.
“So what did you give each other?” asked Sango.
“I had Jaken find a prime cut of Wagyu--the tenderloin-for him, but I haven’t given it to him yet. I’m waiting to surprise him with it at dinner tonight.”
“Are you serious? That must have set you back quite a bit!”
“It was a little extravagant, but I’m not sorry. You should see the boots he had made for me! They’re soooo soft. He said they’re sewn from some rare leather called slink. You ever heard of it? Sesshoumaru says it comes from cows.”
“Slink? Hold on, while I type that into my search engine…”
Kagome sat down and pulled off her boots while Sango surfed the ‘net. “I suppose I could have done that… You find anything?”
“Yeah, and it explains why the leather is so soft. It is rather rare, since it comes from unborn calves. I wonder where he found enough to have a pair of boots commissioned.”
“Yeah, I wonder…”
The story she heard on the news the day before came rushing back and she nearly dropped the phone.
“Sango, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.”
Glowing object in the sky, little green man… it was the two of them, it had to be. He and Jaken had gone and raided that Mishima ranch.
This is just great. Our anniversary is being celebrated with stolen goods! I can’t let him get away with this!
Kagome headed for the kitchen.
*****
Sesshoumaru sat at the table, eagerly awaiting his mate. He could hear her bustling around in the kitchen and knew that any minute now, she would come through that doorway bearing the finest beef in the world.
Kagome backed into the room, her hands full. Then she turned and presented the platter to him, all smiles.
“Happy Anniversary Sesshoumaru! I had Jaken find a tenderloin of Wagyu, just so I could make you a special dinner! I think I might have over-cooked it a little though…”
Sesshoumaru could have cried. The meat on the plate was almost unrecognizable. It had been left in an oven that was far too hot, far too long. Shoe leather would be more palatable.
His face must have given away his thoughts as Kagome’s lower lip began to quiver, ever so slightly. “It’s ok, isn’t it?”
Sesshoumaru arranged his features and smiled at his mate. “It is... stunning.”
As Kagome served him a heaping plate, it was all she could do to keep her smile from turning into a smirk.
Chew on that, you sneaky, cattle-rustling dog. We’ll have a little talk tomorrow to discuss how you’ll make retribution to the rancher and me!
A/N: Mishima Wagyu are exclusive beef cattle. Raised in small numbers on the Japanese island of Mishima and never interbred with any foreign cattle, true Mishima beef is highly prized, much sought after and extremely hard to find.