The Whitey Tighty Principle by LC Rose (One Shot #80)
Title: The Whitey Tighty Principle
Author: LC Rose
Theme: Indignity (One Shot #80)
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Warnings: There’s some light swearing, but nothing that will blind you.
Word Count: 1087 (according to Microsoft Word)
Summary: A brother-in-law and lingerie do not mix.
“Miko.”
Kagome internally groaned. Even though over five-hundred years had passed, even though she and Inuyasha were married and they had a whole pack of kids who called him “uncle”, Sesshoumaru still refused to call her anything else but that ridiculous title.
Turning, Kagome pasted a polite smile on her face. “Sesshoumaru-sama,” she greeted with a nod of her head. While the daiyoukai was no longer the terrifying warrior he had once been, she could not call him tame. If anything, he was more devilish than before, just in a more subtle way. Respect in title was still expected. “Fancy running into you here.”
Sesshoumaru glanced around where they stood on the sidewalk outside the department store and grunted.
Still so little words spoken…
Kagome hesitated for a brief moment-just in case Sesshoumaru thought of adding more to his usual-and then gave a bow of farewell. Thank the Kami, I got off lucky. “Well, I’ll be going then.”
She turned to make her way towards the front doors when Sesshoumaru decided to continue the conversation after all. “You are alone?”
Kagome gave him her best ‘well duh’ look. When that didn’t quite compute, she said plainly, “Yes.”
She was about to add that she was perfectly fine that way when Sesshoumaru nodded his head, his mind already set on a course of action. “Then this one will escort you.”
Oh, Kami no. Not again. Too many times in the past had Kagome fallen under Sesshoumaru’s imposed jurisdiction. Whoever would have thought that the feared Western Lord would have such a hard-on for protecting the females of his “pack” even if he didn’t quite accept them? “That is really unnecessary, Sesshoumaru-sama. Benevolent, but unnecessary.”
“Females should not be left unattended.”
“I’m only shopping!”
“And now you are causing a scene. Inside, miko. This one will see you safely about and returned to your home.”
Knowing a lost cause when she saw it-after all she well knew the stubbornness of the males in this family-Kagome scowled and plodded heavy footed inside the store with her arms crossed. Yes, she looked a bit like a petulant child, but damn it! She’d planned on having fun today.
As soon as they walked inside, Kagome noticed the other women staring. Well, it wasn’t every day someone who looked like an Adonis with silver hair walked through their lives. Oh if only they knew what a short-sighted, male chauvinistic DOG he is…
“Be quick, miko,” Sesshoumaru ordered as he stood stiffly by her side glaring at their surroundings.
“I’ll take my time, thank you,” Kagome replied as she strolled into the lingerie section. “You can leave if this makes you uncomfortable.”
Too late Kagome forgot herself. She shouldn’t have made it seem like such a challenge, as suddenly Sesshoumaru was by her side like glue…
*I*
“You cannot possibly wear that.”
Gritting her teeth, Kagome looked over her shoulder at where Sesshoumaru was standing. For the past hour he had trailed behind her like a shadow and offered commentary on everything she’d touched-whether she was merely admiring it or considering trying it on for purchase. Nothing, the daiyoukai seemed to feel, was suitable. Why she even bothered trying to cater to him, Kagome wasn’t exactly sure, but she refused to leave this place without buying something that Sesshoumaru agreed to. Perhaps it was her pride? Whatever the reason, Kagome did know that the poor bra she finally managed to purchase today would most definitely be returned tomorrow.
“This one is perfectly acceptable, Sesshoumaru-sama.”
“No.”
What in the hell is wrong now? The bra currently in her hands was full-coverage, simple, and (most importantly, apparently) white. There were no sparkles, no lace, no glaringly bright colors, no zebra or tiger print, no racy looking dips, curves, or padding-all things that her “escort” had found wrong with everything else she’d picked up. “It’s my bra,” Kagome finally bit out, having had too much. Inuyasha was so going to hear about this later…and buy her lots of chocolate to make up for putting up with his brother all afternoon. “I’ll wear whatever I want to wear.”
Sesshoumaru cocked his head to the side, his golden eyes sighting the garment in her hands as if he’d like to melt it into nothing. “It will never fit,” he finally said.
What?
Just to be sure she’d heard him correctly, Kagome checked the size once more. 36 C. Yes, that was the correct bra size for her. “It should fit just fine, Sesshoumaru,” she grated out in return. All thoughts of using honorifics had long been blown out the window. “What do you mean by it won’t fit?”
He glanced at her chest and Kagome felt her face turning red with embarrassment. “This undergarment is too large for you, miko,” he stated, sounding like he was trying at patience with an extremely dull-witted person-which he probably thought she was.
“It’s not too large,” Kagome found herself arguing. “I am a 36 C. I have been a 36 C for years. I think I would know this!”
Sesshoumaru glanced around them. “You are causing a scene again, miko. Take this one and let us be on our way.”
The daiyoukai picked another plain white bra off a nearby rack and Kagome glared at his offering. It was a 36 A-not her size. “No,” she bit out. She held up the bra in her hands as if it were the ultimate prize-despite the fact that she hated it because it was so tame and boring looking. Sometimes a little unknown secret spice added jazz to a girl’s life! White was so….blah. “This one.”
“You do not have the filling for it.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. Since when had Sesshoumaru studied her chest so intently? “I’ll have you know,” she returned in a furious whisper, “I have plenty of filling for it!”
Unfazed by her anger, Sesshoumaru’s eyes once more zeroed in on her chest and Kagome fought the need to cover her breasts with her hands. She was wearing a shirt, damn it, and this was a being that had NO such interest anywhere near sexual when it came to relations with her.
Then, in the middle of the department store surrounded by women who were ogling him, Sesshoumaru leaned forward and obviously sniffed at her breasts. When he was done, he raised his head to meet her horrified gaze and asked, with complete youkai male sincerity, “Are they sleeping?”
Author: LC Rose
Theme: Indignity (One Shot #80)
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Warnings: There’s some light swearing, but nothing that will blind you.
Word Count: 1087 (according to Microsoft Word)
Summary: A brother-in-law and lingerie do not mix.
“Miko.”
Kagome internally groaned. Even though over five-hundred years had passed, even though she and Inuyasha were married and they had a whole pack of kids who called him “uncle”, Sesshoumaru still refused to call her anything else but that ridiculous title.
Turning, Kagome pasted a polite smile on her face. “Sesshoumaru-sama,” she greeted with a nod of her head. While the daiyoukai was no longer the terrifying warrior he had once been, she could not call him tame. If anything, he was more devilish than before, just in a more subtle way. Respect in title was still expected. “Fancy running into you here.”
Sesshoumaru glanced around where they stood on the sidewalk outside the department store and grunted.
Still so little words spoken…
Kagome hesitated for a brief moment-just in case Sesshoumaru thought of adding more to his usual-and then gave a bow of farewell. Thank the Kami, I got off lucky. “Well, I’ll be going then.”
She turned to make her way towards the front doors when Sesshoumaru decided to continue the conversation after all. “You are alone?”
Kagome gave him her best ‘well duh’ look. When that didn’t quite compute, she said plainly, “Yes.”
She was about to add that she was perfectly fine that way when Sesshoumaru nodded his head, his mind already set on a course of action. “Then this one will escort you.”
Oh, Kami no. Not again. Too many times in the past had Kagome fallen under Sesshoumaru’s imposed jurisdiction. Whoever would have thought that the feared Western Lord would have such a hard-on for protecting the females of his “pack” even if he didn’t quite accept them? “That is really unnecessary, Sesshoumaru-sama. Benevolent, but unnecessary.”
“Females should not be left unattended.”
“I’m only shopping!”
“And now you are causing a scene. Inside, miko. This one will see you safely about and returned to your home.”
Knowing a lost cause when she saw it-after all she well knew the stubbornness of the males in this family-Kagome scowled and plodded heavy footed inside the store with her arms crossed. Yes, she looked a bit like a petulant child, but damn it! She’d planned on having fun today.
As soon as they walked inside, Kagome noticed the other women staring. Well, it wasn’t every day someone who looked like an Adonis with silver hair walked through their lives. Oh if only they knew what a short-sighted, male chauvinistic DOG he is…
“Be quick, miko,” Sesshoumaru ordered as he stood stiffly by her side glaring at their surroundings.
“I’ll take my time, thank you,” Kagome replied as she strolled into the lingerie section. “You can leave if this makes you uncomfortable.”
Too late Kagome forgot herself. She shouldn’t have made it seem like such a challenge, as suddenly Sesshoumaru was by her side like glue…
*I*
“You cannot possibly wear that.”
Gritting her teeth, Kagome looked over her shoulder at where Sesshoumaru was standing. For the past hour he had trailed behind her like a shadow and offered commentary on everything she’d touched-whether she was merely admiring it or considering trying it on for purchase. Nothing, the daiyoukai seemed to feel, was suitable. Why she even bothered trying to cater to him, Kagome wasn’t exactly sure, but she refused to leave this place without buying something that Sesshoumaru agreed to. Perhaps it was her pride? Whatever the reason, Kagome did know that the poor bra she finally managed to purchase today would most definitely be returned tomorrow.
“This one is perfectly acceptable, Sesshoumaru-sama.”
“No.”
What in the hell is wrong now? The bra currently in her hands was full-coverage, simple, and (most importantly, apparently) white. There were no sparkles, no lace, no glaringly bright colors, no zebra or tiger print, no racy looking dips, curves, or padding-all things that her “escort” had found wrong with everything else she’d picked up. “It’s my bra,” Kagome finally bit out, having had too much. Inuyasha was so going to hear about this later…and buy her lots of chocolate to make up for putting up with his brother all afternoon. “I’ll wear whatever I want to wear.”
Sesshoumaru cocked his head to the side, his golden eyes sighting the garment in her hands as if he’d like to melt it into nothing. “It will never fit,” he finally said.
What?
Just to be sure she’d heard him correctly, Kagome checked the size once more. 36 C. Yes, that was the correct bra size for her. “It should fit just fine, Sesshoumaru,” she grated out in return. All thoughts of using honorifics had long been blown out the window. “What do you mean by it won’t fit?”
He glanced at her chest and Kagome felt her face turning red with embarrassment. “This undergarment is too large for you, miko,” he stated, sounding like he was trying at patience with an extremely dull-witted person-which he probably thought she was.
“It’s not too large,” Kagome found herself arguing. “I am a 36 C. I have been a 36 C for years. I think I would know this!”
Sesshoumaru glanced around them. “You are causing a scene again, miko. Take this one and let us be on our way.”
The daiyoukai picked another plain white bra off a nearby rack and Kagome glared at his offering. It was a 36 A-not her size. “No,” she bit out. She held up the bra in her hands as if it were the ultimate prize-despite the fact that she hated it because it was so tame and boring looking. Sometimes a little unknown secret spice added jazz to a girl’s life! White was so….blah. “This one.”
“You do not have the filling for it.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. Since when had Sesshoumaru studied her chest so intently? “I’ll have you know,” she returned in a furious whisper, “I have plenty of filling for it!”
Unfazed by her anger, Sesshoumaru’s eyes once more zeroed in on her chest and Kagome fought the need to cover her breasts with her hands. She was wearing a shirt, damn it, and this was a being that had NO such interest anywhere near sexual when it came to relations with her.
Then, in the middle of the department store surrounded by women who were ogling him, Sesshoumaru leaned forward and obviously sniffed at her breasts. When he was done, he raised his head to meet her horrified gaze and asked, with complete youkai male sincerity, “Are they sleeping?”