Green Heart 2/3

[dokssuri]

Title: Green Heart
Pairing: Jaejoong/Junsu
Summary: Junsu needs to control all four elements to graduate as a mage, but the finals are coming up and he still hasn’t found his fire. The popular student and fire specialist he’s secretly had a crush on for almost a year suddenly approaches him.



Junsu doesn't expect Jaejoong to actually come back to the cellar to help him. They said goodbye in the dorms really late last night and he expected Jaejoong to sleep in, because there is no reason for him to get up early.

But soon after the master has locked him in and left, Jaejoong comes though the door again.

"Don't worry," is the first thing he says. "I have permission to be here this time. I asked them to let me help you, and they said it's okay as long as I'm sure it doesn't get in the way of training for my own finals."

"Doesn't it?" Junsu asks. If he wasn't before, he's worried now. He imagines Jaejoong's grades dropping because of him.

"Of course not," Jaejoong says. "I can train in here too if I want. Maybe I should have brought a bucket of water to practice a move Yunho taught me."

Junsu doesn't like hearing Jaejoong say Yunho's name.

Most of the students are convinced that Yunho and Jaejoong dating. It isn't hard to believe that when you see them laughing together by the fountain every day, but Junsu still refuses to accept it until it's somehow confirmed. He does know that Jaejoong is way out of his league, it's just nice to dream.

He has never hated the bars as much as he does now, when Jaejoong is standing right in front of him but there's still a barrier between them. It feels bigger than the distance between his tree and the fountain somehow.

"Won't your friends miss you?" he asks.

"Yunho is teaching other students how to dance and Boa helps them meditate," Jaejoong says. "Heechul is probably sleeping somewhere. Since he controls all the elements equally well, he already knows that his average is going to be good enough."

"Thank you," Junsu says quietly, "for taking the time to come down here." It's not a very nice place. He wouldn't come here voluntarily if he wasn't so desperate.

"Don't thank me until you've got some results," Jaejoong says. "And I don't mind helping you. But I don't like how dark it is. Do you mind if I light the other torches?"

"There are more torches?" Junsu peers into the dark corners of the room. The single torch by the door doesn't produce enough light to reach them.

He has to close his eyes against a sudden blaze of light. When he opens them again, torches are burning brightly in every corner and on some of the pillars too.

And Jaejoong hasn't even moved from his spot. "There," he says. "I can see you now." Then he frowns. "I usually love the glow of my fires, but I just realised you look better in sunlight."

Junsu feels self-conscious all of a sudden. "I...I didn't sleep very long." That's a bad excuse, because Jaejoong went to bed just as late last night and he looks amazing. Junsu reaches for his hair. He hopes that at least it isn't sticking up in weird places.

No one has hair like his. A couple of students have darker colours with green highlights, or blue with streaks of turquoise, but never fully green. At first he was happy with it simply because the colour proved that he was gifted, but standing out between normals at home is different from standing out at the academy. Jaejoong has no equal either, but there are a few students who are similar even to him. Junsu is simply unique, and he doesn't like it.

Jaejoong follows his hand with his eyes. "I've always been jealous of your hair," he says. "It's more beautiful than mine, and even more special than Heechul's."

Junsu almost laughs, except it didn't sound like a joke... "That's not true. It's such a weird colour, and just one shade." It's like his gift, no variety or versatility. His water dances are good, but not amazing like Yunho's, and he can never clear his head enough to get air to do exactly what he wants.

Jaejoong gives him an odd look. "No it's not. It changes."

"What do you mean?"

"...have you never noticed?" Jaejoong asks, incredulous. "It's different shades of green depending on the time of day or...your mood or...I don't know...I thought it had something to do with your gift. It's dark green now."

Junsu has never liked mirrors, but he wishes he had one right now. "I don't really look at myself all day long. Are you serious?" Before he went to the academy his friends only said his hair looked weird, they didn't go into detail about it, but in retrospect they were all normals and probably jealous. If his mother had been alive still she might have pointed it out to him.

"Yes," Jaejoong says, like he can't believe Junsu is questioning this. "I've always thought it was so beautiful."

Junsu just looks at him, because he doesn't know what to say to that, and there is an awkward silence.

"We...we should probably get started on getting you out of there," Jaejoong says.

Junsu tries to clear his head and focus. "Right. What do I do?"

"Sit down," Jaejoong says.

Junsu wonders where Jaejoong is going with this, but he doesn't question it and sits down on the stone floor. Jaejoong does the same on the other side of the bars.

"You need to relax," Jaejoong says. "Tell me what you know about...something boring. Um...the theory of the connection between control over the elements and specific parts of the body."

Junsu doesn't know if this will help at all, but he doesn't mind a distraction to keep him from obviously staring. In the flickering light of the torches, Jaejoong's hair glows the kind of red of embers in a dying fire, one that can be revived into a full blaze with the smallest effort.

"Air is connected to the mind," he starts. "It's tricky to control, you need to be able to clear your head and stay calm. Untrained air specialists can be dangerous because a fit of anger or anxiety could create a powerful storm."

Jaejoong gestures for him to go on, so Junsu continues. This is easy for him. He's read all the books.

"Water is controlled by fluid movements of the entire body, but especially the arms, while earth control is embedded in the muscles and bones. You need flexibility for water and endurance for both. Earth specialists are often strongly built and can move big rocks and in some cases even bend metal."

He glances at Jaejoong. The next part will be new to him.

"My type of earth specialist doesn't have its own name, though some scholars think it should. Control over plants and trees is in our fingertips, the soles of our feet and really the entire upper layer of our skin. We're more sensitive to touch than others and are always aware of the other living things connected to earth we stand on."

Jaejoong is looking at him very intently. "I didn't know that," he says quietly. "Why does no one know that?"

"It's only mentioned in a handful of books," Junsu says. "It's so rare and unimportant. I don't even know if there's anyone else like me alive at this moment."

"You're not unimportant," Jaejoong says, "stop saying that. I think you're amazing."

Junsu thinks he's just a weird, weak kind of earth specialist, but hearing Jaejoong say things like this still does strange things to his heart. His heart...

"And fire?" Jaejoong says.

"Fire is connected to the heart," Junsu recites their textbooks. "Emotions influence the control, but in a different way than they do for air. Instead of emptying and calming the heart, it should be stimulated. Passion makes a fire specialist strong, rage makes them dangerous."

Jaejoong nods. "That's the theoretical part, and it's useless. Don't you think? A book can't teach you how to 'stimulate' your heart. When they put it like that it doesn't even sound like something you'd want to do."

Junsu has struggled with exactly this for a long time. "What should I do?" he asks.

"The masters seem to think that a strong longing for freedom will do it. Is that what you feel right now?"

Freedom? Junsu would love to see the other sun again. He hasn't been outside during the day for four days now, but he also knows he doesn't deserve to get out until he's found his fire.

"You're thinking too long about answering that," Jaejoong says before he can say anything. "You're definitely not supposed to think too much when it comes to your heart."

"Then what do I do?" Junsu asks.

"Think about something that makes you really happy, or really angry. No, wait, the best is to think about something you love so much that just the thought of it warms your heart. Start with warm, you can move on to hot later. Do you have memories like that?"

"I...I don't know." Junsu tries to think of something, but it's hard when Jaejoong is staring at him like this.

"What makes you happy?"

Junsu closes his eyes and concentrates. "I really like...sensing the moment when a small seedling feels the sun for the first time." He opens his eyes and explains. "The plant doesn't really have emotions, but somehow it makes me feel happy to witness that."

Jaejoong just looks at him for a long time and Junsu wonders if he understands or not. Maybe that sounded really weird to him.

"I get the feeling your heart is like a small seedling itself," Jaejoong finally says. "But at the same time I find that hard to believe, because you made such a beautiful apple tree. There must have been some passion behind that."

There is, but Junsu doesn't dare to say what it was.

There is a short silence.

"Have you ever been in love?" Jaejoong asks carefully.

Junsu stares really hard at the ground. "I don't know," he says again.

"Maybe this is too difficult," Jaejoong says. He hums. "There must be fire in you somewhere. We just need to find a way to bring it to the surface."

"Can't you somehow ignite it with yours?" Junsu asks. This probably sounds really stupid, but he's been thinking about this since their conversation last night. "The way you light a candle."

Jaejoong's eyes widen and he quickly jumps to his feet. "I'm not going to set you on fire!"

Junsu stands up as well. "I don't mean drown me in flames. Just hit me with a little bit, lightly?"

"I doubt that will work," Jaejoong says. "And I could burn you. You're already locked in a dark room without food, I really don't want to hurt you any further. You've just told me that your skin is more sensitive than others'."

"I told you I do have a mage's protection," Junsu persists. "I've experimented with it."

"You're crazy," Jaejoong says, but he sounds more worried than anything else. "I really don't want to-"

"Please?" Junsu says. "Even if it doesn't work I want to at least try. I want to try everything."

Jaejoong sighs unhappily. "...How?"

Junsu rolls up his sleeve and pushes his arm through the bars, as far as it can go. "Aim for my hand."

Jaejoong sighs again and shakes his head, but he does lift his hand and holds it close to Junsu's.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Sure," Junsu says. In truth, this 'experiment' was years ago, with the small flame of a candle. But it didn't leave any burns on his skin at all, so he must have the protection.

Jaejoong's eyebrows are furrowed in concentration. He takes a deep breath. A small fire appears in mid air. Its flames stretch and extend from his hand to Junsu's.

When the fire reaches and licks his skin, it looks like it would feel soft, like the gentle touch of a piece of orange silk, but it doesn't. It stings.

Junsu cries out and pulls his arm back, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Junsu!" Jaejoong grabs the bars of the cage so hard it looks like he's trying to pull them apart, or just push his body through them. "Are you okay?"

Junsu is examining his hand. He takes a calming breath. "I thought I wasn't. But I am. I'm sorry." He looks up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Jaejoong breathes out heavily and sags against the side of the cage. "We're never doing that again."

Junsu looks at his hand again. He could swear the skin was a little red and painful for a second, but it's completely gone now.

"You're sure you're okay?" Jaejoong asks.

"Yes." Junsu gives him a reassuring smile.

Junsu waits by his tree. It's so early that the light of the rising sun isn't strong enough yet to push back the shadows in the courtyard. It would be completely silent if it wasn't for the fountain.

Jaejoong was more quiet than usual yesterday after he'd touched him with his flames. Junsu kept reassuring him that nothing had happened and he was fine, but it didn't help much. Junsu hates that Jaejoong blames himself. Hadn't it been his idea? And also, he is fine.

He isn't hurt, but he still doesn't have fire. They'd tried concentrating on happy memories for the rest of the day, but that didn't work either, partly because Jaejoong kept looking so sad and it threw Junsu off. In the evening he'd been afraid that Jaejoong wouldn't want to help him anymore.

And yet Jaejoong said he'd meet him at this tree today, before Junsu would have to go the cage. He said he'd bring food smuggled from the cafeteria, because his friends can get away with anything, and he promised he'd come up with other strategies and today would be the day Junsu finds his fire.

He promised, and smiled that smile that could make Junsu believe anything. So why isn't he here?

The fire master comes and tells him to follow. Junsu decides that Jaejoong probably just overslept and will show up in the cellar later. Or he won't come at all, but even that Junsu can understand. Jaejoong wanting to help him was like a dream. Too good to be true.

Something is different today. The fire master doesn't say anything, but he appears to be more unhappy than usual. Junsu wonders if they are losing their patience with him. He would if he were them.

When they reach the metal door, the master gestures for him to go first. That is new. Junsu does as he's told and steps inside, but the master doesn't follow. He simply closes the door behind him.

Junsu is confused. He wonders how he is supposed to get into the cage now until he sees there is already someone there.

The room is dark, the number of burning torches reduced to one again, but Junsu can just make out the human figure lying on the floor behind the bars.

He carefully steps closer until he can see who it is. He gasps. "Jaejoong?" Junsu rushes forward and drops to his knees.

Jaejoong is lying on his back, his head turned towards him. He smiles. "Hello. I'm really sorry I didn't meet you at the courtyard."

Junsu is holding onto the bars and squeezes until his knuckles go white. "Why are you in there?! What happened?" He looks for a way to get Jaejoong out, and is horrified to see that the system of ropes and weights is gone. It's just the heavy wooden door of the cage with no easy way to open it from either side.

"Relax," Jaejoong says, "it was my idea."

"What?"

"Putting you in a cage wasn't helping," Jaejoong says. "Because you will never escape if you believe you deserve to be locked up."

"I don't..." Junsu starts. But he knows there is some truth to Jaejoong's words.

"I don't know if this is better," Jaejoong says, hesitantly, "but maybe...if you feel it's unfair to lock me up in your place, you'll want to help me get out."

"Of course I want to get you out!" Junsu says. How can Jaejoong doubt that? But he doesn't want Jaejoong to be locked up until he finds a way to do it with fire. That might never happen. "Why are you lying on the floor? Can you help me lift the door? I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to move the stones to push it up, but I could try-"

"Don't," Jaejoong says. "Try it with fire. And I'm lying here because...I can't stand up." He sounds almost apologetic.

"Why?" Junsu asks, immediately focusing on Jaejoong again. "Are you hurt? Should I call the master?"

"No," Jaejoong says, "No, I...this part wasn't my idea, but the masters thought it would be good if you believed I couldn't get out on my own, so they gave me something that suppresses my gift. A side effect is that my body feels a bit weak." When he sees Junsu's expression he adds: "But I'm fine, it will wear off in a few hours."

Junsu feels like crying. "Why?" he asks, "Why did you agree to that?"

"To help you." Jaejoong smiles. "Please don't be mad."

Junsu wonders if Jaejoong knows how he feels right now. If he knows that this is so much worse than the kind of training the masters have subjected him to the past few days. To think that Jaejoong is lying there, helpless on a cold hard floor in a dark room, because of him. Being burned would be more pleasant than this.

"They soaked the wood in something extremely flammable," Jaejoong says. "It only needs a little bit of heat. I'm sure you can do it."

At this moment, Junsu wishes people would stop expecting of him to learn to control fire. If that wasn't necessary, Jaejoong wouldn't be where he is now. He would be laughing with Yunho at the fountain again. It was selfish of Junsu to want him here with him instead. He'll probably never be able to get him out. He just doesn't have it in him.

But he can't just give up. He needs to keep trying, especially now. He moves to the wooden part of the cage and presses his hand against it.

"Be careful not to burn yourself," Jaejoong warns.

Junsu laughs bitterly through the tears that are forming in his eyes. How great would it be if he actually were able to burn anything. He concentrates, closes his eyes and thinks about everything Jaejoong told him about his heart. Then he remembers he's not supposed to think too much and he empties his mind. The flames of the torch in the corner start moving more quickly.

"You're thinking about air," Jaejoong says. "Air does influence fire, but you need to control it from within, be the fire."

"I can't do it," Junsu says. "I can't!"

"Come back here."

Junsu kneels next to Jaejoong's head again. Jaejoong slowly lifts his arm and reaches through the bars.

"Take my hand," he says when Junsu just sits there. When he does, Jaejoong lightly squeezes his fingers. The touch is warm and reassuring. Junsu calms down a little.

"Don't try to rush it because of me," Jaejoong says. "I'm comfortable here, really. Stay focused. I believe in you."

Junsu is about to stand up and try again when they both hear the sound of water, rushing towards them, around them, as if it's in the walls. Are there pipes there?

Jaejoong looks up at him, eyes wide and surprised, and Junsu looks around. It's so dark in the corners. He hears the splash when water hits the stone floor before he sees it.

The water gushes through a hole in the wall. There is so much power behind it that that someone is probably pushing it. Junsu knows this room can be used for extreme training of all the elements, so it's not surprising the floor is sealed. The water is not draining away and the expanding wet spot has almost reached Jaejoong already.

Junsu doesn't hesitate. He lets go of Jaejoong's hand and jumps to his feet. He moves his arms, slowly at first, to sense how much water there is, where it is and how big the room is, and then faster, in big circles.

The water is pushed towards the edges of the room, away from Jaejoong. It's the only thing Junsu can think of to do. The water keeps streaming in, it even seems to speed up. The weight Junsu is pushing away gets bigger. He lets the protected circle shrink to save his energy, until water is splashing around his own feet and only the cage and Jaejoong are still dry.

"I can't hold it back for much longer," he says, desperate. "Can you move? Please tell me you can get up."

"Burn the wood. You can still do it." Jaejoong says, but he doesn't sound confident at all anymore.

Junsu can't focus on his water dance and try to reach for the fire he doesn't have at the same time. He wants to be able to do it, he wants it so badly. He needs to save Jaejoong, but he doesn't know how. He feels the prick of tears welling up in his eyes again and he tries to blink them away.

The masters won't drown Jaejoong. He's their favourite student. There is probably a water master behind this, but they must have planned it together. And no one would just kill a student in general. They wouldn't. It doesn't sound convincing in Junsu's head with the weight of so much water pushing against him.

His arms grow tired. He wants to scream, call for help, but he is crying and gasping for air.

Suddenly there is a bright light and a burst of heat and the wood crumbles. The next moment Jaejoong's arms are around him and he is holding him tightly and telling him it's okay, he's alright, everything is fine.

The water closes around their ankles. It's cold and wet but Junsu hardly notices. He sobs against Jaejoong's shoulder. His arms are trembling. Jaejoong strokes his back.

"It's stopped," he says. "It's okay. Everything is fine. You were amazing, almost a water specialist."

Junsu tries to take deep breaths. He's starting to become aware of the fact that he is pressed up against Jaejoong's body. It makes it better but worse at the same time.

Jaejoong's voice turns from reassuring to angry. "They were trying to scare you into using fire. That's so wrong, even if it would work. They're hurting you. I should never have agreed to help them."

Fear of water can push someone to instinctively defend themselves with fire. This is probably true for Jaejoong, but Junsu has never been afraid of water before. He's always liked it and welcomed it, like rain during a drought.

If he'd ever been near the fountain during one of Yunho's dances, he wouldn't have complained like Heechul or blown the water away like Boa. He definitely wouldn't have evaporated it like Jaejoong, even if he could. He would have stood there and enjoyed it hitting his skin and soaking into his hair and clothes.

The tears have stopped, but it's still hard to breathe properly and talk. "You can stand," he finally manages. "And use your gift."

Jaejoong pulls back a bit. "I lied to you, I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't know they were going to use water. I only thought you wouldn't be as driven to get me out if you knew I could just easily do it myself. But I see I was wrong. I didn't know you cared so much about me. I didn't know. I'm sorry."

The water is slowly draining from the room. The masters probably realised their plan has failed and opened up another pipe.

Junsu is so relieved. His knees go weak and he starts to fall, but Jaejoong catches him. "Hold on," he says. He does something behind Junsu's back and steam rises. When Jaejoong guides him down to sit on the floor, the stones are warm and dry.

"I'll make sure nothing like this ever happens again," Jaejoong promises. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me?"

Junsu looks at him. He still doesn't understand why Jaejoong his here. He was worried when Junsu disappeared, and he's trying to help him. Why? What's so special about him to catch Jaejoong's attention? Jaejoong has never even asked him who his parents are.

He wants to believe everything Jaejoong tells him, that he is beautiful and special, but it's the first time he's heard any of those things. Still, Jaejoong seems like an honest person, a trustworthy person.

"I forgive you if you let me ask you a question," he says.

Jaejoong smiles, relieved. "That's all? You can always ask me anything."

Junsu only looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to realise that he is serious.

Jaejoong's expression turns pensive for a moment. "Go ahead. Ask. I don't have anything to hide."

"Is it true that your father is the King's personal mage?"

Jaejoong didn't expect that to be the question. Junsu can see him hesitate. He keeps looking straight into Jaejoong's eyes, even though he can tell it is making him uncomfortable. He almost says: 'don't try to figure out what it is I want to hear, just tell me the truth', but he wants Jaejoong to make that decision on his own.

Jaejoong sighs and finally says: "He is not. I'm sorry...I'm sorry if that disappoints you...or if you're disappointed that I just let everyone believe the rumours. I tried it at first, denying it, but that only seemed to convince them."

Junsu smiles. He feels relieved. "Thank you, for telling me the truth."

Jaejoong weakly returns the smile. "Why did you want to know? I didn't think you were the kind of person who cares about things like that."

"I don't," Junsu quickly says. "I'm not disappointed. I already suspected the rumours were something you had no control over. I was just wondering if you would lie to me about it. If...if maybe you were that kind of person."

Jaejoong gives him an odd look. "...how did you know the rumours weren't true?"

Junsu avoids Jaejoong's eyes. He suddenly realises he's said too much, but it's already too late.

Jaejoong gasps. "It's you...you're the student whose father is...am I right?"

Jaejoong has been honest with him. Junsu doesn't want to lie. He nods.

"Wow," Jaejoong says, awed, and then, shocked: "And they still put you in that cage? You're practically royalty! Isn't there something your father could have done..."

Junsu shakes his head. "It was his idea to keep the relation between us a secret. He thought I would feel too pressured if people knew. Everyone would expect me to be as good as he is. It was to protect me. No high expectations, no special treatment."

"But did you tell him how they are treating you?" Jaejoong asks. "What did he say about that?"

"He doesn't know, because I don't mind it," Junsu says. "I don't want to be treated differently. Please don't tell anyone. Please."

"I won't tell anyone," Jaejoong says after a while. He doesn't sound happy. "But only because you're asking me, not because I think it's right."

"Thank you," Junsu says. With everything Jaejoong says or does, Junsu trusts him a little more, especially now that this is out of the way.

"Can he do what you do? Did you inherit it from him?" Jaejoong asks.

Junsu shakes his head. "He's more like Heechul, good at everything, but he's never told me about controlling plants or trees. We don't talk a lot though. He is always busy."

"I heard your mother died when you were young," Jaejoong says. "The King himself attended the funeral. ...you must have been lonely."

"I had friends in the palace," Junsu says. "They were normals and they didn't always understand me, but I wasn't alone. I don't mind being alone either."

Jaejoong gives him a look.

"What? I really don't."

Jaejoong pouts. It almost makes Junsu laugh. The panic he felt just moments ago has completely left his body. "But I like your company," he says.

Jaejoong smiles again. "In case you're interested. My father is a lowly firefighter. He's not even the head mage of his department. When the normals are busy, they have him drive the truck. But he loves his job, and he saves lives almost every day. I'm not ashamed of him."

"He sounds nice." Junsu smiles.

"He is. My parents couldn't afford to send me here, but after two years of perfect grades, they thought it would be a waste of my talent not to send me to a better school, so they appealed to the government for help and got it. They're amazing, I owe them so much."

"You're amazing," Junsu says. It's harder for someone with a strong specialty to score high in other elements. He's always been jealous of Heechul, and Boa, who's naturally specialised in both air and water, but Jaejoong is even better than them, knowing where he came from.

"Thank you," Jaejoong says. He sounds genuinely happy with the compliment, like he doesn't hear it from everyone, every day. "But I'm not any more special than you are." He takes Junsu's hand and pulls him to his feet. "Let's get out of here."

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