Confession

[dokssuri]

Title: Confession
Length: One-shot
Pairing: Junsu/Yoohwan
Summary: Yoochun walks in on Junsu making out with his brother. He isn't happy.



A/N: The last chapter of Only Human is being difficult. Maybe because I don't want it to end. And I don't technically have time to write anything, but this just happened.

Yoochun would have found out eventually. They both knew that, if anyone found out, it would be Yoochun. But Junsu hadn't expected it to happen today.

Yoohwan was home alone when he arrived. It was the reason he came over. Yoochun would be at a photo shoot or something, home late, they thought.

He should have been more careful; lead Yoohwan to his room, or arrange a meeting somewhere else. Letting Yoohwan initiate a make-out session on the couch was the worst thing he could have done.

He should have been alert enough to notice the door opening at least.

"Did you hear something?" Yoohwan asks against his lips.

Junsu hums and kisses him again. He didn't really hear the question. Yoohwan pulls him closer and pushes a hand into the back of his jeans, so it can't have been something important.

The sudden yell makes them both jump. Yoohwan even bites his lip, and then Junsu is yanked backwards by the collar of his shirt.

His back hits the stone floor, his wrists are pinned down on either side of his head and a knee slams into his chest.

Yoochun knows from experience that this is the only way to keep him down. If he straddles him, Junsu can twist free.

But Junsu has no intention of trying to escape. He coughs from being choked and the pressure on his chest, his back hurts and his lip may or may not be bleeding.

He looks up to face the hurt and accusation in his friend's eyes.

"Hyung," Yoohwan's voice sounds quietly from the couch.

"What the fuck were you doing to my little brother?!" Yoochun demands, almost screaming. His eyes are a little red, and Junsu can't tell if it's because he's so angry or because he wore a lot of make-up and just got it removed. His hair is still styled, fashionably messy.

"Hyung, let him go."

Yoochun doesn't listen to Yoohwan. He keeps his eyes fixed on Junsu. Junsu can't talk, partly because he can only just breathe in enough air to survive, and partly it hurts so much to look into those eyes.

Suddenly Yoochun is pushed to the side, and he lets go of Junsu to catch himself. Yoohwan positions his body between them and glares at his brother. "He wasn't doing anything I didn't want."

Junsu realises that their position, him on top, pushing Yoohwan into the couch, could have made it look like rape. It definitely wasn't, but he feels even guiltier.

"He never even wanted to touch me at first," Yoohwan continues. "I had to flirt and beg for weeks."

"Weeks?!" Yoochun squeaks, his voice breaking. "How long has this.. you.." he keeps looking from his brother to Junsu and back.

"I'm sorry," Junsu says. "We shouldn't have kept it from you."

"It's my life though," Yoohwan says, "I can decide-"

"Get out," Yoochun says. He stands up and points at the door.

"Me too?" Yoohwan asks.

"Not you, you stay. You stay and you never meet him again unless I'm there too."

Yoohwan protests, but Yoochun ignores him.

"Hyung, can we talk?" Junsu tries, but Yoochun gives him such a cold look that he scrambles to his feet, finds his coat and rushes out the door, with a last apologetic look at Yoohwan.

It takes Jaejoong approximately one and a half second to notice that something is going on, and five more to know that they're fighting, that Yoochun isn't talking to Junsu and that Junsu feels miserable.

"What's going on?" he asks. When neither of them says anything, he raises his eyebrows. This is new. "Okay, so it's none of my business. Fine. Whatever. But fix it, soon."

Junsu texts Yoohwan to ask if he's alright, and Yoohwan sends back that Yoochun isn't talking to him either, and that any form of contact between them is technically forbidden now.

He adds that he doesn't care what his brother says and that they should just continue what they were doing, but Junsu knows that he cares a bit, because he doesn't ask to meet him at one of their secret places.

It's hard to find a moment to talk to Yoochun, because there's always someone around, Jaejoong or staff. And Yoochun doesn't respond to his messages.

When Junsu finally gets a chance, he doesn't know what to say. He goes for: "We were very careful. No one suspected anything, I mean, not even you knew. I didn't want to risk ruining his career, or ours. I made sure-"

"Don't," Yoochun says. There is no emotion in his voice. "Don't even talk to me."

Junsu spends long nights thinking about everything that Yoochun could be mad about, besides the fact that they kept a secret from him. Maybe he thinks Junsu is too old for his little brother, maybe he's slightly homophobic, maybe he's jealous, no, that's not it.

He keeps trying to break through, apologising to Yoochun whenever he gets the chance, even if he's not completely sure what for. Yoochun never reacts.

It's really hard to keep up appearances in public. They're still laughing together, always touching each other, because everyone expects them to. But it's an act now, acting professionals, not natural friends. It hurts so much.

Junsu loses weight, Jaejoong notices and then the fans. Yoohwan sends him an occasional text, but the fire between them is dead. They both love Yoochun too much.

It's not until Junsu starts drinking that Yoochun acknowledges his existence when there are no cameras around. Jaejoong is frantic with worry by then.

Junsu finds himself at a bar one evening, more drunk than he's ever been, which is easy since he never drank before, and calls Yoochun.

He can't remember what he said, but it must have alarmed Yoochun in some way because he's there to pick him up ten minutes later.

Yoochun takes him to his apartment and puts him to bed.

"Please," Junsu says. He's crying, because of the alcohol of course. "Please let us explain."

Yoochun sighs. "I'll think about hearing you out, when you've sobered up." He touches Junsu's cheek, tracing the bone. "You need to eat more, Susu, take care of yourself." Junsu chokes out a sob, and the next morning he's sure he's dreamt everything.

Junsu feels like he's suspected of murder and Yoochun is interrogating him. He's told to sit by the table and he doesn't dare to move.

He wishes Yoohwan was here, but Yoochun said he'll talk to them seperately.

"How did it start? When? Did you get him drunk?"

"Of course not, hyung, that's ridiculous. You know I don't like to drink and he doesn't even have any alcohol"

Yoochun eyes Yoohwan suspiciously. "That's exactly what he said. Did you rehearse that? Am I actually right about this?"

Yoohwan rolls his eyes. "Why would I voluntarily meet him again and again, even let him into our house, if he only 'got me' one time by getting me drunk?"

"So? Explain?"

"He's hot, hyung, haven't you seen his latest videos? He is amazing, every part of his body, that voice. He can still pull off the cute look but he's matured so much. I like a sexy, older man, I wanted him, I went for it. Don't give me that look, you asked."

Yoochun clears his throat. "How many times did you.. meet?"

"Every chance we got," Junsu says quietly, "since half a year ago." He looks up. "Are we ever going to be alright again?"

"I ask the questions," Yoochun says, "and I don't know. Every time you sit next to me, I imagine you with your tongue down my brother's throat. It's hard, Junsu."

Junsu's tongue has been in more places than Just Yoohwan's throat, but he doesn't think it's a good idea to mention that. He winces at the next question.

"How far did you go?"

"I hope you don't think I'm still too young for sex, come on, hyung. Or is it because he's a man? Haven't you ever thought about it? Not even with Jaejoong-hyung?"

"You know that I'm straight, Yoohwan, you've been reading too much fan fiction."

Yoohwan rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

"I thought you were too."

"I'm bi. Not that it's any of your business."

"I'm your brother, I care about you. So, it was just sex with Junsu?"

"Yes."

"No, hyung, don't think for a second that I was just playing with him. I wasn't, I swear."

"So it was more than sex?"

"Not for him, I don't think," Junsu says, "but I don't.. I refused him for so long because I can't do that. I can't just detach my body from my mind, I can't be with someone I don't really care about."

"You like him."

Junsu avoids meeting Yoochun's eyes.

"Just sex?"

"Great sex." Yoohwan smirks. "You've been missing out, seriously. I've never met a girl who can do things like-"

"No details," Yoochun raises a hand, "please."

"Read some fan fiction. You'll know what I mean."

"I don't want to know. So, no commitment?"

Yoohwan shrugs. "Not really."

"I would never hurt him, if that's what you're worried about, never. If it wouldn't ruin both our lives, I'd publicly declare my love for him and let him know how serious I am."

"He's worth that much to you?"

"A lot."

"More than our friendship?"

Junsu freezes, mouth open, eyes wide. "Hyung, please.. please don't make me.."

He hates this question. If someone forced him, he'd probably choose Yoochun, but that might be the wrong answer here, because Yoochun might think he lied about caring. There is no right answer, is there?

"Are you serious?" Yoochun asks, surprised. "You have to think about that?"

Junsu winces. His eyes are wet and he has no alcohol to blame. He's always the strong, mature one around Yoohwan, always in control, even of his hidden feelings.

With Yoochun he used to be on the same level, but now he feels ten years younger and weak and foolish.

"Would you choose him over me?"

"That's a mean question and you know you're being unfair," Yoohwan says.

"Would you consider it though? It can't be a tough decision. You just said it was just sex."

"No comment. Are we done?"

"Okay," maybe Yoochun's voice softens a bit, maybe Junsu just imagines it. "You don't have to answer that. I've heard enough."

Yoochun leaves, and Junsu doesn't move from his spot until Jaejoong lets himself in and forces him to eat something.

Yoochun invites him over and Junsu is not sure if he's relieved or sad that Yoohwan isn't home. Yoochun asks him to sit on the couch with him, the same place he saw them together, and Junsu is instantly worried.

"I'm sorry," Yoochun says. Junsu wasn't expecting that.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. And I want you to know that I'm not just apologising because Jae is about to kill me."

"It's okay," Junsu says, trying to sound positive. "You're talking to me now."

"I was just very shocked, and confused, and I had all these images in my head of you with my little brother and I didn't know how to deal with that, and I was afraid you'd hurt him, and I was mad that you hadn't told me anything."

"I'm sorry," Junsu says.

"No. You've apologised enough. Trust me. Enough."

"Are you still worried I'll hurt him? Because I swear-"

"I'm actually worried about you now." Yoochun doesn't meet his eyes when he says that, and he isn't smiling, so Junsu knows that he's serious. He's very surprised.

"I'm.. I'm fine, hyung. I've been hurt before, and I risk getting my heart broken by Yoohwan by my own choice. He's worth it."

"He thinks it's just sex, if he wasn't lying to me."

"He's young. He doesn't want to commit to me, maybe he never will. I can accept that. It's not like he doesn't care at all. He's been texting me. He didn't have to."

Yoochun sighs. "Okay, you have my official permission to.. do whatever it is you do, I don't want to know. Just never get me involved like that again."

"Really?" Junsu asks.

Yoochun looks at the floor. "Yes. And was I too unreasonable or can I still have my friend back?"

Junsu smiles now. "Thanks, Chunnie." He moves closer to give Yoochun a hug and, when he doesn't flinch, a peck on his cheek.

Yoochun smiles too and relaxes. "I did miss you, Susu."

"Me too."

"As a friend," Yoochun quickly adds.

Junsu laughs. "I know, I know."

"Besties," Yoochun says, leaning into him.

They sit in silence for a while.

"Just out of curiosity. Is Junho seeing someone right now?"

Junsu shoots up and eyes Yoochun suspiciously. "I thought you were straight."

"Yes, of course," Yoochun says. "Just like my brother."