this is depressing
I don't remember if I told you guys about this or not, but I've had issues sleeping ever since I got home. Basically I can't sleep which results in me waking up mid-afternoon. Every day. On a good day I'll wake up at 1 or 2 but it's usually like 3 or 4 and I can't get to sleep until like... sunrise. I'll be sleepy and trying to sleep but I can't fall asleep. Most times I kinda don't care enough about falling asleep because work doesn't give me shifts so I have nothing to do the next day.
It's been like that since I came home, and I think it's because I like having the house to myself. Neal works late a lot. He'll come home between midnight and 2AM. So I at least get to see him every night/morning. But I never bug him by being up and about at night. My mom is a heavy sleeper, I just have to tip toe around my dad, but I have to do that during the day anyway. And I love not having him around. Yeah I'm an awful person, WHATEVER. But I'm miserable when he's around and that's not something I can help. If I wake up at 4PM, I only have to deal with him for like 7 hours and for most of that, my mom is around to keep him in check.
I'm still trying to get back on a normal schedule, but I really like the peace when he's, you know, unconscious. I try to talk to my mom about the things he does that piss me off but she laughs like it's just his quirky behaviour or something. So I just kinda stay in my room or in the basement until he goes to sleep. Then I can watch TV in the living room or read on the couch, snack at the breakfast nook.
I don't really know what to do to be less miserable. My friends are too far away to see often. I don't have any friends in this town because apparently my high school has a reputation of being full of assholes. Seriously, when people hear about which school I went to, they wince and say "ohhhhh...."
So I'm just keeping myself occupied. Reading, knitting, DSi. I have enough episodes of shit on my laptop and hard drive that I don't miss TV. I can't even find solace in the idea that I could move back to Kingston if I needed to because well... Ashley's living in my room this summer.
I think this is the last summer I stay at home. Maybe a month or two next summer to get my shit together for when Kim and I get our place (hopefully) in Vancouver.
It's been like that since I came home, and I think it's because I like having the house to myself. Neal works late a lot. He'll come home between midnight and 2AM. So I at least get to see him every night/morning. But I never bug him by being up and about at night. My mom is a heavy sleeper, I just have to tip toe around my dad, but I have to do that during the day anyway. And I love not having him around. Yeah I'm an awful person, WHATEVER. But I'm miserable when he's around and that's not something I can help. If I wake up at 4PM, I only have to deal with him for like 7 hours and for most of that, my mom is around to keep him in check.
I'm still trying to get back on a normal schedule, but I really like the peace when he's, you know, unconscious. I try to talk to my mom about the things he does that piss me off but she laughs like it's just his quirky behaviour or something. So I just kinda stay in my room or in the basement until he goes to sleep. Then I can watch TV in the living room or read on the couch, snack at the breakfast nook.
I don't really know what to do to be less miserable. My friends are too far away to see often. I don't have any friends in this town because apparently my high school has a reputation of being full of assholes. Seriously, when people hear about which school I went to, they wince and say "ohhhhh...."
So I'm just keeping myself occupied. Reading, knitting, DSi. I have enough episodes of shit on my laptop and hard drive that I don't miss TV. I can't even find solace in the idea that I could move back to Kingston if I needed to because well... Ashley's living in my room this summer.
I think this is the last summer I stay at home. Maybe a month or two next summer to get my shit together for when Kim and I get our place (hopefully) in Vancouver.