::I fucking hate school::
Dear Journal,
So i have the biggest fucking headache right now. I'm crying I'm stressed and I'm alone which doesn't help since Pauls soooo pissed off that my phone won't pick up in his house. it's just his house it happens in no where else.
I basically wasted 400 dollars, =D go me! I have 3 classes right now, 2D design, Regents Prep which I didn't even NEED, and Polictial history of america and ga(a core). I've had problem in 2D design with my teacher and I not getting along. and my first project getting a fucking D. I've stressed out over the Regents Prep class that i don't even need but took because i had to be enrolled at a full time student. and then wasn't even considered full time since my other class was dropped. And Political History I just decided to give up on. True I started a bit late but 3 fucking weeks to get the work this guy gave out done? fucking hell I don't know how anyone did it. They had to have just one class and no job or maybe a job thats like a few hours in a day at the end of the week. This material couldn't have all been covered in an actual sit in class in this amount of time. I've been working on this shit for 2 full days straight. over 24 hours of work together and havn't even finished the first 2 units. I have 2 other demanding classes that think that no one has a life and 2 jobs. I had no fight to begin with. So I give up. I accept the fact that I wasted 400 dollars that could have been put to somthing else. I execpt that I might nearly have finished If i had started a bit earlier. I accept my defeat.
I accept that this semester was full of STUPID FUCKING DESICIONS. I will never make decisions again when presured as I was by time and parents and others. I should have just taken my art class, not even 2D because I could have been exepmt from that class, I should have followed my gut and taken printmaking. and only printmaking. I shouldn't have worried about being full time during summer because of the time limit its next to impossible.
I need to sit down with my mom along with a nonbised third party who knows taxes and find out what the actual cost for all the pressure my mom is puting on me with me staying in school for her taxes is. I will fucking pay her the difference if it's a great one. for her to back off. Although I really don't think It's as great of a difference as she says. This is also for the fact that I need my own place to live. I know how hard its going tohurt my mom for me to say that but I need a place near to were I work and go to school that I can eat and sleep and most importantly, keep all of my stuff/excape to. I have places in town I can eat at as long as I hide my food(which is an other plus of having my own place) and places to sleep. but I live out of bags and my car which inturn trashes up my car and my friends rooms since I don't have a proper place to put my clothes and such. And If I want to get away from everyone I can't. Sure I can go to annas and lock one of the rooms there but someone will eventually come home and break open the lock just to see whats going on. or I could go to pauls when he's not there but thats awkard with his parents. I really need a place to live. just something little and comfortable. with a kitchen and bedroom and liveingroom area. I'm hoping that with the excess money i recieve from my student loan I will be able to get my sewing machine so that i can sell patches and get an apartment. I should have plenty for the first 2 months with it and that will help me figure out was my exact costs would come to for the month so I can see if I will need to try to work more or apply for a higher position at work. I believe I will be a-oki from that point onward money wise.
Pauls going to kill me when he gets here and I tell him I decided not to turn in the work. Considering I can not make a passing grade without turning in more of the assingments than I have the physical time to complete I've decided that there is no point in continuing. I know that this will greatly lower my GPA. That besides the 400 dollars down the drain, is the main downfall. ermm I'm still dreading the argument we are going to have tonight. I'm debatnig to driving to annas....but that would just be running away. fucking hell.
...political history hell. =[ I'm stuck in it.
I just went over his grading scale again...there is almost no way for me to achieve a passing grade. getting a D right now would be slim to none. I'm not going to stress out and over work my self over something that will be taking time away from what I can get done.
gotta be my optomistic self.
Jessie.
So i have the biggest fucking headache right now. I'm crying I'm stressed and I'm alone which doesn't help since Pauls soooo pissed off that my phone won't pick up in his house. it's just his house it happens in no where else.
I basically wasted 400 dollars, =D go me! I have 3 classes right now, 2D design, Regents Prep which I didn't even NEED, and Polictial history of america and ga(a core). I've had problem in 2D design with my teacher and I not getting along. and my first project getting a fucking D. I've stressed out over the Regents Prep class that i don't even need but took because i had to be enrolled at a full time student. and then wasn't even considered full time since my other class was dropped. And Political History I just decided to give up on. True I started a bit late but 3 fucking weeks to get the work this guy gave out done? fucking hell I don't know how anyone did it. They had to have just one class and no job or maybe a job thats like a few hours in a day at the end of the week. This material couldn't have all been covered in an actual sit in class in this amount of time. I've been working on this shit for 2 full days straight. over 24 hours of work together and havn't even finished the first 2 units. I have 2 other demanding classes that think that no one has a life and 2 jobs. I had no fight to begin with. So I give up. I accept the fact that I wasted 400 dollars that could have been put to somthing else. I execpt that I might nearly have finished If i had started a bit earlier. I accept my defeat.
I accept that this semester was full of STUPID FUCKING DESICIONS. I will never make decisions again when presured as I was by time and parents and others. I should have just taken my art class, not even 2D because I could have been exepmt from that class, I should have followed my gut and taken printmaking. and only printmaking. I shouldn't have worried about being full time during summer because of the time limit its next to impossible.
I need to sit down with my mom along with a nonbised third party who knows taxes and find out what the actual cost for all the pressure my mom is puting on me with me staying in school for her taxes is. I will fucking pay her the difference if it's a great one. for her to back off. Although I really don't think It's as great of a difference as she says. This is also for the fact that I need my own place to live. I know how hard its going tohurt my mom for me to say that but I need a place near to were I work and go to school that I can eat and sleep and most importantly, keep all of my stuff/excape to. I have places in town I can eat at as long as I hide my food(which is an other plus of having my own place) and places to sleep. but I live out of bags and my car which inturn trashes up my car and my friends rooms since I don't have a proper place to put my clothes and such. And If I want to get away from everyone I can't. Sure I can go to annas and lock one of the rooms there but someone will eventually come home and break open the lock just to see whats going on. or I could go to pauls when he's not there but thats awkard with his parents. I really need a place to live. just something little and comfortable. with a kitchen and bedroom and liveingroom area. I'm hoping that with the excess money i recieve from my student loan I will be able to get my sewing machine so that i can sell patches and get an apartment. I should have plenty for the first 2 months with it and that will help me figure out was my exact costs would come to for the month so I can see if I will need to try to work more or apply for a higher position at work. I believe I will be a-oki from that point onward money wise.
Pauls going to kill me when he gets here and I tell him I decided not to turn in the work. Considering I can not make a passing grade without turning in more of the assingments than I have the physical time to complete I've decided that there is no point in continuing. I know that this will greatly lower my GPA. That besides the 400 dollars down the drain, is the main downfall. ermm I'm still dreading the argument we are going to have tonight. I'm debatnig to driving to annas....but that would just be running away. fucking hell.
...political history hell. =[ I'm stuck in it.
I just went over his grading scale again...there is almost no way for me to achieve a passing grade. getting a D right now would be slim to none. I'm not going to stress out and over work my self over something that will be taking time away from what I can get done.
gotta be my optomistic self.
Jessie.