So what if i'm a prude!
Track stuff last night. Some chocolate syrup being licked off naked bodies, body shots, mooning cars, signing of breasts and asses and peni and what not. Where was i you ask? At BU watching Along Came Polly and Detroit Rock City. Oh yeah, and they made out with each other too at this track thing (i have no desire to kiss other girls and even the boys on our track team, except for a choice few). A part of me wishes i wanted to be that crazy. How many of you, my closest friends, have ever even seen me in a sports bra? How many of you would like to [just wondering :)] And i think i;d need to be drunk to lick chocolate off people i dont really know and that aint happenin. But damn it, WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL????
I've been reading weird shit lately. I may be repeating myself, but i read The Bell Jar and have just started One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Now I feel like I could be crazy, like it isnt so hard and that if i did everything i thought and said everything i felt i would be crazy, but i know what isnt crazy so i do that in order to fly under the radar. Weird.
I also have been eating less crap. I though about anorexia for a bit, knowing i only want to lose a few pounds so i could do it for a short time and be done and feel a little better about myself sooner. But i know i'd die becuz i do a sport that requires lifting of heavy objects and if i drop the inclince bench press bar i will surely break something important (35s on each side and the bar for 5 x 3 reps. 45s by Valentines i vow). I think that fact that i am actually on break and only athletes are here is giving me too much time and space to think too much and explore the nether regions of my brain. But dont ever want to have to work again. I dont want the others to come back. I realized how much i dont like being around a lot of people.
This was NOT A SAD ENTRY. It was barely worth typing, but i figure my journal should document my life. HOLLA!!!
I've been reading weird shit lately. I may be repeating myself, but i read The Bell Jar and have just started One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Now I feel like I could be crazy, like it isnt so hard and that if i did everything i thought and said everything i felt i would be crazy, but i know what isnt crazy so i do that in order to fly under the radar. Weird.
I also have been eating less crap. I though about anorexia for a bit, knowing i only want to lose a few pounds so i could do it for a short time and be done and feel a little better about myself sooner. But i know i'd die becuz i do a sport that requires lifting of heavy objects and if i drop the inclince bench press bar i will surely break something important (35s on each side and the bar for 5 x 3 reps. 45s by Valentines i vow). I think that fact that i am actually on break and only athletes are here is giving me too much time and space to think too much and explore the nether regions of my brain. But dont ever want to have to work again. I dont want the others to come back. I realized how much i dont like being around a lot of people.
This was NOT A SAD ENTRY. It was barely worth typing, but i figure my journal should document my life. HOLLA!!!