(no subject)
i'm really not doing so well in school. i've never been afraid to get tests back. and i'm almost okay with that except that it takes so much effort to just suck at stuff and not completely fail (though i'm not really accomplishing my goal). That is how u spell goal right? It's not even late and i'm tired. and i hate hearing the sound of other ppl's laughter in the next room. What am i missing? Same thing i missed in high school? I want to run through the falls of my highschool. i want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want my dad to drop off the charger to my phone so i can at least have some false hope of someone calling me and breaking my boredom and thne causing me to feel guilty becuz i'm not working. This is the most inbetween feeling ever. I've been generally happy for a long while, or at least i decided to be hopeful. I'm babbling, but i'm allowed to becuz i havent in so long.
I dont ever want to feel like this is my home. i like it here, but i dont love it. and home is nice, but i feel like i dont really live there anymore because i dont. so where do i belong in this mess? i feel like my future is always gonna be a little less than i hoped for, like how i feel right now which is not a bad feeling, but it should be so much better. Or what is the point of this? (not suicidal!) i can write whatever the fuck i want in my journal. So HAH!
I am not Harvard enough...
I dont ever want to feel like this is my home. i like it here, but i dont love it. and home is nice, but i feel like i dont really live there anymore because i dont. so where do i belong in this mess? i feel like my future is always gonna be a little less than i hoped for, like how i feel right now which is not a bad feeling, but it should be so much better. Or what is the point of this? (not suicidal!) i can write whatever the fuck i want in my journal. So HAH!
I am not Harvard enough...