(no subject)

[doitonstage]

I just need to speak my thoughts because I've been feeling pretty sad lately and I always feel better when I can write down what I'm feeling. I've just been depressed about being back at school and it's really all because I miss Adam. I also don't like being in my dorm room and being around the people I live with all the time and I miss my family. I mostly just can't stand being away from Adam and I haven't gotten busy enough yet to not have time to think about it. I'm going through the same sad feelings I had at the beginning of last semester but I got over that once I got busy and I was hanging out with friends all the time. I need to get back in the place again. I know I just need to give it time to get back to the same place I was last semester where I was happy and still missing Adam but not letting it really get to me and make me cry and crave his phone calls. I feel ridiculous. I want to be happy being back here like all my other friends and I know I will be, but I need that time to be now. I want to start rehearsals and start the play and start doing crew and being as busy as I was last semester. I used to love being able to sit in my room by myself having it be quiet but I can't stand that now. I get lonely and sad and I have to leave and hang out in a friend's room and be around other people. I like being in class. Everything is just like it was at the beginning of last semester and I can't stand being in that position again. I want to be with Adam. I want to not be jealous of others (especially girls) that get to be around him when I can't. I want it to be February so I can see him again. I want to stop leaking at random times.

And with that, I am done. I will be fine. I just have to give it time and I am not a patient person.