taken away with haste

[doinitwitrythem]

Well its been a while since i've wrote in this thing.I guess I havent fathomed up enough strength to get myself to, or to regain my composure.Im really weak lately.I recently learnt of some news that all hit me like a tidal wave rushing in at once, busting down everything i've worked so hard for, busting down the walls that surrounded me and kept

Comments

[kaleyz]

Hey Zac,
i know this is all too hard to handle. But it'll be ok. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and all you can do is be there for sweet choey and show her how much you love her. I know it's hard. You love her, she knows that.

You know i'm here at any time for you.

Love you,
Kaley

[doinitwitrythem]

yeah..uh...thanks.

i dont know how this whole destiney and fait thing works..or if there is any rationality to it!I dont know if its fare or ever was.

I love my daughter..but its hard for a father when even a fathers love, you dont know..is enough to save the life of your daughter..I mean look at Kingsley,Tay loved her more then fuckin anything in the world!!more then ME even!!And that wasnt enough to save her..not my sweet child...please..not her.

thanks...i love you too

[kaleyz]

You don't have to believe in destiny or fate... i do. And i'm not gonna force it on you. But i have to believe that things happen for a reason, if not i'd probably have killed myself several times by now. Just know that all you can do is be there for her and hold her hand through it. Like you said you don't know how bad this cancer is..... it could be good, or bad but that really doesn't matter.... what matters is being there for your daughter. She needs you and you need to be there for her. Love her, that's all you can do right now. And try not to get sick by worrying too much.

Just be there for her... spend her my love and give her a hug/kiss for me (whatever is my comfortable for her) and let me know whats happening. Oh and me and Jenni made some food for you guys at home so you can just heat it up. I know you won't have time to cook and it's better for you all to have better made food.

All My Love

[doinitwitrythem]

Yeah..sorry..just dont know if im all that good of a student when it comes to listening to someone preach about these things, im sour at this moment, not to everything.Im glad you never killed myself,please dont ever kill yourself keley are you talking about killing yourself?cause I just dont know if id be able to take that.Are you depressed?I mean, you've never told me you are.How could ANY kind of cancer be good?Please tell me that?I love my daughter and will always be there for her, she knows that..im daddy..I love her..so much so so much

[kaleyz]

i'm not saying that i'm thinking about killing myself. I just meant that in the past i have been depressed. And being basically stuck at home at the moment ain't helping. But no, i am not going to try and kill myself. Since being a nurse i've seen what it does and i would never put Jenni or anyone else through that. You don't have to worry about me.

I'm not trying to talk about myself as unimportant. I just know that i would be by Jenni's side constantly if she was sick. And when i said good cancer i meant one of the better ones, ones she can fight and win with better odds. EVen though i reckno she can fight and win anything... she is her fathers daughter. I would love to come and see her... but really i shouldn't be driving and it's hard for me to be on my feet for too long. But seriously let her know i'm thinking about her. She's gorgeous... oh and jenni told me to tell you to tell her that she loves her. Actually Jenni's been putting her hair up the same as Choey.

[doinitwitrythem]

Oh...im sorry, i just..im quick to come to conclusions with the way my brain is working right now.Your not going to lose me to this, dont worry.Its a relief to hear you wont do that though..a big relief.

I can only hope that's the kind we are talking about, but..the news couldnt be delivered to me quick enough.I can come get you..id love to..i want you by my side, she wants you by her side, she wants jenni by her side, she has been asking about her...that's precious...thats my lil jenni

[kaleyz]

You can come and get Jenni anytime. She's getting pretty bored with me... but not the baby. EVerytime it moves she's holding my belly. It would be nice to be able to move without her holding my stomach. Seeing this little one won't stop moving around.

[doinitwitrythem]

Well I dont want to get just Jenni..I want to get you too.I love you, dont you see?I miss you.Im alone, your alone...you should be here...im coming to get you.

[kaleyz]

Well, you might have to help me get some shoes on. I can't see my feet not to mention reach them. And Jenni ain't that great at doing up shoes.

[doinitwitrythem]

oh my gosh baby you look gorgeous in your picture I just..I had to say that.And I dont mind I doubt your feet stink any worse then mine.

[kaleyz]

My feet dont' stink at all. And yours well.... no comment. lol. Oh thanks, notice how it's not of my stomach? cuz it would take up the whole damn picture.

[doinitwitrythem]

Hey meanyhead

thats not nice at all

[kaleyz]

I'm not being mean, i'm just being honest. But it's only sometimes.. like when you've been running around in stinky sneakers. So it's not completely your fault lol.

Most of the time i like your smell *smiles*

[doinitwitrythem]

Psh, well hey,I cant be perfect lol.besides,you love me so your just gonna have to deal with it lol.

[kaleyz]

yes i do love you, smelly feet and all. And i don't want you to be perfect, cuz i'm not perfect. But your just perfect for me, as imperfect as you are.