Comments | doinitwitrythem: the good..the bad

doinitwitrythem

the good..the bad

Nov 26, 2006 22:15

So...I went to kate's and seen the kids finally.Wow..I didnt know just how much I missed them until I seen their faces and held them.I love them so gosh damn much and its soo good to see their faces outside of my nightmares and the horrified looks they'd always have saying my name.They looked so peaceful and so happy,my youngest was so bashful but ( Read more... )

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kaleyz November 27 2006, 05:32:34 UTC

I'm sorry i ruined that on you. If i had of known i wouldn't have called. I am really sorry you missed out on more time with your kids cuz i panicked over something so silly. I'm really really sorry. I feel so bad now.

Yeah i'm so glad the baby's ok. I got so worried. So worried I made myself sick. *Sighs* i'm sorry i worried you, i didn't mean to. And jenni's starting to ask questions about us so, we need to figure out what we're gonna do about it. And yes you do have an input, you are in our lives.

Yeah, i guess i did let my guard down, let my walls down enough to let you in. I'm still scared though. I know you're there but i'm still worried that if i let you in completely that you'll walk away still. But, i can't live like that. This is our baby and even if you walkaway from me, i know you won't leave this baby. This is our golden child zac. I love you.

doinitwitrythem November 27 2006, 05:40:11 UTC

No no no.Dont you dare apologize.I had enough time with the children,hell..even a second..im so grateful for, because I thought id never get that again.im just happy they are alive and well.Dont be sorry baby.I mean we do have a child together,even if it isnt born yet and that one is already just as important.Dont be fooled.I have obligations to you and this baby too.Im glad you called when you did, I mean,you could have really hurt yourself seriously when you passed out if I hadnt cought you,and it could have turned out to be something serious.I mean it may have been the stomach flu, but the fall could have made it so much more.Please dont apologize, everything is alright now.They understand,ill just call them and tell them goodnight and what happened..ya know, this is their bro/or sis too.Its okay ( ... )

kaleyz November 27 2006, 05:57:44 UTC

But i still feel bad about you leaving them. What if they hate me? What if they hate the baby i'm carrying? Oh god, what if they never like it and never meet it? And what about Jenni? Where does she fit? cuz she's the sister of the baby too. Oh man, Zac why does it have to be so difficult? *poutz*

But what IS the truth? That you and me love each other and we're having a baby? and that she's gonna be a sister? and that you're gonna be the baby's daddy and you have other kids too? What do i say?! Hellllppppppppppppppppp

Three? three? awwwwww that's so cute. Yay, three of us.

doinitwitrythem November 27 2006, 06:05:24 UTC

They wont hate you.My kids dont have a mean bone in their body to hate anyone.They just arent like that,maybe you should get to know them more,and when you do..you'll see that.They have the biggest hearts you'll find,right next to jenni.Kids are so pure and innocent and non-judgemental.And they wont hate the baby your carrying.They are already asking all sorts of questions..just like they do about Zac.They are all that much more interested.They know and understand this is their baby brother/or sister too..and in their mind,there is no half brother or sister,just full.Its always a good thing.I love how they think.We all could learn a lot from them.Our children can teach us a thing or two.And Jenni,they are very accepting,they want to meet her infact...choloe wants another play mate BESIDES her brother.Dont worry yourself so bad.You might hurt yourself,or the baby worse yet.it cant be good.Your just too damn cute ( ... )

kaleyz November 27 2006, 06:12:34 UTC

Really? You told them about me and the baby and jenni? They didn't hate it? I mean, i know their kids i just...... i'm being paranoid again aren't i. Dammit, i hated that the first time around with jenni, i was so paranoid when i was pregnant with her. I guess i'm just showing it again.

Mommy and Daddy? Should i say that though? I don't know how she feels about you being her dad. i mean i haven't talked to her about her dad, not really. SO, i don't know. Maybe you should talk to her about that issue before we get into it. She needs to make that decision with you, away from me. After all she is getting old enough to make that decision. I don't wanna force anything on her, it's her decision. *sighs* So, you talk to her about the daddy thing and then we'll talk to her about the baby ok?

Well us FOUR are going to be happy, right daddy? *smiles*

doinitwitrythem November 27 2006, 06:30:46 UTC

Yes I did, of course.I know I didnt get all that much time with them, but I had just enough time to tell them about you and the baby and jenni,it was something I felt needed to be adressed.No they didnt hate it,they were all kinds of excited.Come on now.Yes,you are baby.*laughs* but its cute,so it works for you.You'll be okay,it'll be okay.

Well then if you dont feel her comfortable enough to call me daddy,then just say mommy and zaccy,close enough,right?Lol.Ill talk to her if it will make you feel better and if it will make her more comfortable.Definitely.agreed.Your such a wonderful mother.not pressing any decisions on her.Okay...sounds good.

yes..us FOUR.

kaleyz November 27 2006, 06:42:44 UTC

Oh wow, i can't believe you told them baout me. But i guess it does need to be addressed. It's not like not telling them is going to keep the baby from coming. And they're fine about Jenni? Aww you're picking on me being paranoid *poutz* that's not nice to do to mommy.

I do feel comfortable with her calling you daddy. I just want to make sure she feels comfortable too. After all it is her decision. She's the one that has to feel comfortable with saying it. I just don't want her to grow up and resent me for forcing it on her. So i would really really appreciate it if you talked to her about that and have it between you two. Then we'll talk to her about the baby.

And mommy loves daddy too.

doinitwitrythem January 30 2007, 05:35:12 UTC

Of course I told them about you.Hun, you are the love of my life, of course and you are also going to be envolved in their life, with me, comes you and with you,comes the baby..well..with US..comes the baby.And yes,the issue does need to be addressed.yes,they are, they are excited about a new play mate really.All they have is eachother right now, Kate dont take them many places.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, and I respect that decision and am cool with it.And I just might have to do that one of these days it isnt kaotic.

kaleyz January 30 2007, 06:16:52 UTC

Aww, i'm the love of you life? wow, no one's ever said that. I mean.... ya know, of your lifeeeee. A life is a long time. Wow. *blushes and gigglez* wow, i'm alittle... shocked and for some reason i can't stop smiling. yeah the issue does need to be addressed. Maybe we should have a playdate, have them meet in neutral territory. Like the park maybe? If it's ok with kate that is.

ok then, good. Love you *mwah*

doinitwitrythem January 30 2007, 06:29:26 UTC

Yes your the love of my life.I just can't believe nobody has ever told you that?I thought that would be a overused phrase in your life and have little to no meaning,though I mean it with every inch if my hear.Baby I love when you smile,and especially knowing im the reason for that smile.

yeah, deffinitely.psh doubt she'd mind.

love you too

kaleyz January 30 2007, 06:40:29 UTC

Believe it zac. No one cared enough about me to even lie about me being the love of their life. So keep saying it. *smiles* i love hearing it. SO much so, i might even cook you a nice dinner...... if you want *giggles* oh wait this is you *smiles* you love you food almost as much as you love me.

Well i hope not. I don't want her to think i'm after her kids. I'm not, just want them to be ok with me. Ya know? i don't want them thinking i'm like gonna be an evil stepmom or anything.

Love you more *sticks her tongue out at him*

doinitwitrythem January 30 2007, 06:45:47 UTC

Well good cuz I love hearing it and I honestly dont think I could get too tired of saying it either, so it just so happens it works out for the both of us, now doesnt it?Screw them other guys, they give us men a bad name,their gay..whatever babe..we have eachother now, that's what matters.We are the new brady bunch lol.Mmmm I love your cooking..and I love home cooked meals, especially onces from the heart, they are so much better.

No no she wouldnt think that,or shouldnt, ill let her know.Your the coolest person to be in this situation with.So patient, kind and understanding.

no no, i love you 1 more then you love me always.

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