Over and out

[doinitwitrythem]

So...yeah...that's right...my ass is kicked to the curb for the damn moment.Im at kate's right now,living here for the moment.What's to figure huh?Its not like I can really make this any fucking worse.Natalie's got her own speculations whether I like them or not.And its not like we can talk them out..because she cant even fucking look at me,

Comments

[doinitwitrythem]

Im NOT trying to hurt YOU okay..im NOT taking a stab at YOU...im not trying to underestimate you or degrade you..im not trying to make you look bad damn it.This isnt about you Taylor, this was never about you..it was never about taking what was YOURS..thats not how I looked at it.Should I have?Tay im sorry.IM NOT ASKING YOU TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE OR TO DISSAPEAR.you shouldnt have to taylor.Everything happens as it should.It will all happen as it should and im coming to terms with that.Nobody should go out of their way to stop it...especially you Taylor.If nat and I cant do it on our own, then..as much as it hurts me to say it...we just arent meant to be and we are undeserving of the marriage.

You and Nat should always be friends.Im not even saying you cant.Thats not right of anyone to say.You'll always have a bond,I know that.And im sorry I was ever jealous taylor.Im not letting it come between you and nat or me and you.

Please...dont go out of your way.You have enough stuff to deal with.And you ESPECIALLY shouldnt be troubled by this.Your right..it ISNT your fault, i know that.So dont worry about it...continue as you were Tay..dont watch your step because of me.

[tj_h]

how can i not zac? ur my fucking brother, i don't wanna have to not care about ur feeling and step where i want. UR my brother so therefore i DO have to watch my step cuz of you.

[doinitwitrythem]

You mean that?You really mean it?

I...I've been waiting for you to say that all along.Its what I thought, but I just had to hear you say it.

Thank you for that taylor..its the thought that counts!!And just knowing that you care tay and are aware of whats happening,thats enough tay.

I dont want you stressing it though, this is my gift to you.Taking MY shit off YOUR shoulders.It wasnt neccessary to even be there.Dude, im sorry man.

what kind of shit is this?Dude..bro,I was in the wrong.Im sorry.

[tj_h]

yeah u were in the wrong zac.... but u know the best thing about being in the wrong? u can fix it, and maybe ur in the wrong about nat? u can fix that then too. Don't let her get away, she's having ur child. Trust me, she can't have this baby alone.

[doinitwitrythem]

See...you say you were in the wrong with natalie too..you say you fucked that up..I mean..atleast you own up to it and dont try to pawn it all off on her.So thats fixable isnt it?

Im not in the wrong with natalie though.Call be stubborn and hard headed, but I cant apologize.I havent done shit to her but maybe smother her in love.Id rather give her too much then not enough.She is the one that wont let me in Tay and I cant break down her walls if she isnt even trying to help.I know she cant have this child alone.I want to be there with her and this child...if not for her..then definitely this damn fucking child.I know I dont have much room to complain and I feel like shit complaining to YOU of all people about this, but I wish one of my children could live with me and the mother both at the same time and us be in love and not putting on a damn act.

maybe the best thing I can do for her and for you..is let her go?Have I not paid enough attention to kate and the kids?Maybe you were right dude.

[tj_h]

well maybe she needs to see that she can lose you. Maybe she's really confused on everything, it did happen VERY VERY fast. Maybe it'll shock her into realising how much she can't lose you.

But if that doesn't work at least ur giving ur kids the attention they need and deserve

[doinitwitrythem]

Yeah, well..im hoping to prove that point..to prove a point.That's why it was MY idea to take Kate up on the offer in staying there for a little while while nat gets her act together and that way I am spending more time with my OTHER children that still VERY much exist to me and are no fricken less then Natalie's and my own child.She needs to see that.

Yeah, its understandable it could have all been rushed into.But I wish she'd just say that instead of beating around the bush and leaving me COMPLETELY clueless to what it all is.Who know's.

Thanks for the advice man.

Definitely!Definitely!Thanks bro.

[tj_h]

that's all i've been tryign to make you realise since u fricken married nat. You forget that nats child is no more existant that your other children. That's all i've been tryign to get you to understand.

Zac, since when have we EVER understood women? i doubt THEY even understand other women or even themselves.

No probs bro, that's wat i here for.

[doinitwitrythem]

Yeah man, I been being real flippen hard haded and its gay..i've been letting everything be clouded over in my mind because i've been too busy trying to make up for the past, but Natalie isnt kate..and making up for it with natalie wont make it up to kate, it wont fix it.I need to PERSONALLY make it up to her and those kids...Natalie's needs arent Kate's exact needs and if id have woke up and smelt the coffee a long ass time ago,you wouldnt have had to bust your ass trying to get me to understand these things without directly coming out and telling me it because you didnt think I could be THAT brain dead.

Thanks dude.

Fuck yeah,you aint fucking kidding me.Them woman are fucking insane and so damn hard to understand.Dont you hear girls all the time in diarys saying..I dont understand,Im so confused,I hate how im being like this..its stressing myself out.

[tj_h]

*laughs* fuck yeah, god how are we supposed to understand them if they don't even understand them. I'm personally sick of having to work them out. I'm sick of tryign to fulfil EVERY one of their needs. I'm sick to death of that shit. That's why i don't WANT to be in a relationship with anyone. I just, can't take that stress. I got enough shit without being tied down too.

Dude we should go out one night. We haven't been clubbing in SO LONG!! seriously i really really wanna go... wanna come with? *smiles*

[doinitwitrythem]

Exactly.And then they get pissed off at us for not understanding!Its like FUCK.we are damned if we do and damned if we dont, and half the time I think they feel better just saying that we dont...they automaticly snap..you DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!Do they really give us a chance?Lol, its almost like they just want something to bitch about.Grr.Yeah..I hear you, if I wasnt married..id be in your same position...hell..im almost in your position right now.

FUCK YEAH dude.Its long past overdue..we seriously need to fucking get out and do some shit.Boys night out.Lol I just dont want us to get all crazy.HELL YEAH.you serious?

[tj_h]

we can get crazy within limits zac. We've been going out on boys night out for YEARS and only a few times has it been really bad. And we got into shit. But seriously i REALLY REALLY wanna go. PLEASE?! Dont' make me fucking beg! I'll let nikki know and stuff and we'll crash in the basement so we can like laugh and play sony totally drunk. SO FUN! Dude we so HAVE TO!

[doinitwitrythem]

Yeah, seriously man...We got to do this..im going crazy and so are you.I think it'd fucking be AWESOME for us to do that.SERIOUSLY we have the best of fucking times.I've been needing this so bad..and I know you have to.

I thought you'd NEVER say it.Fuck man!HELL YEAH IM FOR IT.

yor the shit man

[tj_h]

thank you thank you thank you *bows*
Yep i'm the shit. So when can u get clearance? Cuz i'll get the blow up mattresses for us to crash on in the basement so nikki and the boys don't have to see us fucking trashed as. lol

[doinitwitrythem]

LMAO..dude..chill!!Haha this is my fucking PLEASURE MAN...your tay the tank.Fuck yeah..man, id be lucky to beat you though..im proud to party with you.Dude, im available ANYTIME..kate is glad she smiled from ear to ear and told me to scoot my ass out the door and go have a gay old time.(lol wow that sounded queer)

[tj_h]

*flicks his hair girly like* well u picking me up or not handsome? *he put on a girl like voice then cracks up*