the headlines
SHOOTING STAR ARRESTED, BLACKLISTED.
COLUMBO LOOSES KEYS
MCGRUFF KILLED ATTEMPTING TO SNIFF CRIME'S CROTCH
MAN'S COMING-OUT PARTY DECLARED 'FABULOUS'
RICK JAMES DEAD, BITCH!
SCHWARZENAGGER WANTS PRESIDENCY...THEN THE WORLD
REDSKINS MEET IN DC FOR PRACTICE; MUSEUM OPENING
SPELL CHEK BROCKEN
LITTLE TIMMY FALLS DOWN THE WELL, DROWNS
"I AM NOT HAPPY TO SEE YOU." MAN WITH BANANA IN POCKET DECLARES
POLL SHOWS AMERICAN PUBLIC APATHETIC, OR SOMETHING
COLLEGES PLAN TO SEND 'APRIL FOOLS' ACCEPTANCE LETTERS APRIL 1ST
'FUCK YOU' TAKEN LITERALLY. RUSH HOUR TRANSFORMS INTO ORGY
MAN BREAKS INTO HOUSE, STEALS ONLY 'PRICELESS REFRIGERATOR ART'
NEXT ON CBS: WHEN FLIES FUCK, COUGHT ON TAPE
MAN PROVES 'ELMERS GLUE' TO BE TOXIC. HE WAS 24.
KERRY: 'CONSERVATIVE RIGHT, WRONG.' ACCUSED OF FLIP-FLOP.
AD: IN SEARCH OF WIT. REWARD. DIGNITY TOO.
COLUMBO LOOSES KEYS
MCGRUFF KILLED ATTEMPTING TO SNIFF CRIME'S CROTCH
MAN'S COMING-OUT PARTY DECLARED 'FABULOUS'
RICK JAMES DEAD, BITCH!
SCHWARZENAGGER WANTS PRESIDENCY...THEN THE WORLD
REDSKINS MEET IN DC FOR PRACTICE; MUSEUM OPENING
SPELL CHEK BROCKEN
LITTLE TIMMY FALLS DOWN THE WELL, DROWNS
"I AM NOT HAPPY TO SEE YOU." MAN WITH BANANA IN POCKET DECLARES
POLL SHOWS AMERICAN PUBLIC APATHETIC, OR SOMETHING
COLLEGES PLAN TO SEND 'APRIL FOOLS' ACCEPTANCE LETTERS APRIL 1ST
'FUCK YOU' TAKEN LITERALLY. RUSH HOUR TRANSFORMS INTO ORGY
MAN BREAKS INTO HOUSE, STEALS ONLY 'PRICELESS REFRIGERATOR ART'
NEXT ON CBS: WHEN FLIES FUCK, COUGHT ON TAPE
MAN PROVES 'ELMERS GLUE' TO BE TOXIC. HE WAS 24.
KERRY: 'CONSERVATIVE RIGHT, WRONG.' ACCUSED OF FLIP-FLOP.
AD: IN SEARCH OF WIT. REWARD. DIGNITY TOO.